Need Advice please re: management

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

JCAHO recently visited our facility and our floor manager named everybody that worked hard to prepare except for me. My heart just dropped when I saw the thank you note she wrote mentioning every one's name, of course, I cried for a while too. I can not believe she would mention everyone except for me. Has anybody else had this happen to them? What could the reasoning be behind it? I've been told she is a Christian women, so it shouldn't be a issue of really not liking me, but this sure isn't the type of behavior I'd expect. She had to have looked at the schedule to see who all was working and clearly my name was definitely on that schedule. I'm shocked and saddened. I too worked very hard and helped other's as well on preparation and cleaning. I'm wondering if she is just testing to see what my response will be. Should I respond?

[caliotter3]

I would like to think that it was only an oversight, an honest mistake. If it bothers you that much, approach her and ask about it.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I am 99.9% sure that she is not targeting you for special reason. It was probably just an oversight. Either it was a careless error on her part that happened as she wrote the note ... or she only singled out individuals who did some special jobs that you are not aware of.

If it really bothers you ... I would recommend approaching her and saying something like, "I noticed that I was not included in the thank-you note. Is there something else I should have done to help out? If there is something I should have been doing that I didn't know about, I'm sorry. Please let me know so that I can be more helpful next time." If it was just an accidental exclusion, she'll most likey say so and apologize. If the others did some special jobs that you are not aware of, she will probably say that.

Then let it go. The manager has been under a LOT of extra stress due to the visit and deserves a break. You don't want to appear too needy and become a "high maintenance employee." You also don't want to appear whiney and resentful of others who got a little recognition. So, accept her response to your question graciously and move on with you life.

As for me, I would probably say nothing directly about the thank-you note -- not wanting to appear to be needy or whiney. But I would initiate conversation about the visit with her and let her know that I was interested in learning more about the process, the requirements, etc. -- and that I had learned a lot from the experience of being there during the visit. By doing that, I job her memory a little bit that I was part of the team that helped and show myself to be a team player that is helpful and eager to learn -- whether or not there is a public reward or not.

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

Only being employed for a year now, being 'whiney' is actually something that crossed my mind as well. Although, that particular word didn't come to mind. I don't want to appear as though it bothers me, although it does, very badly in fact. I did several things to prepare including lots of cleaning! I worked very very hard that night. I consider myself a huge team player. When things are slow for me, and even when it's not slow, I always offer help to my fellow nurses.

I know what's going on with our floor and there was really no special person with a special job, we all did our part, with the exception of someone that is very lazy, that was also mentioned. I'm not being resentful, it's just a fact.

I actually reminded a couple of other nurses of special tasks that needed done, and they were very thankful to me and said "oh thank you, I forgot about that!" There was also a very important task (GHACO requirement) I completed that I won't mention here.....something that management didn't tell me to do, nor did himself (charge nurse), he said he also forgot, and also said he didn't know how. I was a little surprised at that myself.

I am management material myself. I've been in management positions in my last two previous (non-nursing) jobs. So it does bother me very badly that I wasn't recognized. But I guess I'll keep my mouth shut so I won't appear 'whiney.'

Thanks

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

Were there other people with about the same tenure on your unit as you who were mentioned? It could be that you just slid under your manager's radar because you're "new". I know for a fact that my manager (and her junior managers) wouldn't even recognize several of the newer people who work on our unit. Not by name and not by appearance. I agree that you can discreetly inquire about the "thank you" and see if it was an oversight. I understand your feelings about this and know that it's not always enough for you to KNOW you did a great job and not have some small pat on the back.

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

Were there other people with about the same tenure on your unit as you who were mentioned? It could be that you just slid under your manager's radar because you're "new". I know for a fact that my manager (and her junior managers) wouldn't even recognize several of the newer people who work on our unit. Not by name and not by appearance. I agree that you can discreetly inquire about the "thank you" and see if it was an oversight. I understand your feelings about this and know that it's not always enough for you to KNOW you did a great job and not have some small pat on the back.

There are a couple of new employees, one non-nursing that has been there less than me, and one in nursing that has been there a little longer. What do you think would be the best way to inquire, through an email perhaps? I have this gut feeling that she is testing me by doing this, I may be wrong, but it sure seems that way. For her to mention every one that worked that night including non-nurses just seems like more than a simple 'oversight.'

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

My personal inclination would be to do it face-to-face. That way you can assess the impact your inquiry has on her and hear the inflection in her voice. You don't get any of that feedback with email. You could say something like, "It was nice of you to write that thank you note to the staff after the JCAHO visit. People really appreciate being recognized when they do a good job." Then wait to see what her response is. Then say something like, "I wondered if there was something I didn't do well, or something I should have done that I didn't that night, because I was left out of the thank you. I'm feeling that maybe I somehow messed up." And see what she says. You'll know right away if she's uncomfortable. Then ask if she has any suggestions that would help you to fit in and do your share of making your workplace a healthy and happy place to be. Then the ball is in her court.