My nursing theory of BM for my BS

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Why should the nursing theorists have all the fun? I've made my own theory of BM:

We as nurses strive to further the unitary pandimensional "turd experience" through three levels of prevention, thereby creating oneness with self and bowel. Primary prevention includes identifying risk factors in our patients, such as feasting on foods that block the energy in "colon flow." Secondary prevention includes the promotion of daily "fecal achievement." Tertiary prevention includes administration of "butt detonating" interventions that promote "colon blow" thereby restoring "synchronization in being and bowel."

The quoted phrases are all conceptual ideas I plan to patent and use when I write my grant for a research project for my nursing graduate degree.

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Love it!

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Specializes in Infusion.

Mind if I start using this in my nursing care plans.

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By all means... use it in your CP's. I'll be contacting NANDA about using my nursing Dx: readiness for enhanced colon flowosity...

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Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. I nominate you for an endowed chair at any nursing school of prestige. May they write nursing texts in your name.

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Specializes in Infusion.

I'm already feeling less distention related to your BM theory as evidenced by a loud fluttering sound from my inferior dorsal torso. Much thanks.

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