My Nursing Identity Crisis

[Wmbog]

Since beginning high school I have had the dream of becoming a nurse or physician. I have busted my butt for years now gaining experiencing, studying, volunteering obtaining certifications, extra courses, anything and everything I could get my hands on to enter the world of medicine. Now, just before I am supposed to be entering a nursing program I am having massive anxiety on whether or not I should continue with this dream of mine. Here is my background and the reasons why I am second guessing my choice. I have been working as a CNA for two going on three years now. I have only worked in two places with LTC and Rehabilitation. I have worked with all ages of people, all different medical backgrounds, I have had some amazing and insightful experiences and I love helping others. I take great pride in what I do and I work very hard at it... however, I am struggling. Throughout my career as a CNA and especially recently I have been working in a facility that treats its employees poorly, we are over worked, and under staffed I'm talking 2 CNAs for 60 patients, the lack of teamwork is astounding the patients are frustrated, the employees are burned out. I have been working for months now to work together with my fellow co-workers and administration to find solutions to our problems within the facility but nothing is getting done. I hate my job. Realistically I know that there are amazing facilities out there that are not like this but when it comes down to it I know nursing is stressful, nurses are often over worked, under paid, short staffed, and often times feel unappreciated. I'm just curious of others opinions, has anyone experienced this? Does it get better? I guess I am just extremely discouraged, I cannot imagine spending my life being treated so poorly and becoming trapped in a profession that will cause me emotional turmoil on such a constant basis. I am the kind of person who works hard to advocate for those who can't advocate for themselves, I work hard to help others, to be there for them, to encourage their success and happiness even if I have to compromise my own comfort, but I cannot compromise my physical and mental health. Any advice, encouragement, information, experience, anything, would be helpful for me to make this decision.

[Eclectic Swain]

I am only a student, but I know there are nursing positions where you may not have to worry about being treated so badly. Look into administration or perhaps further for NP or CRNA. I hope some more experienced members can lend you some better insight.

On a side note, put some money aside each month for a killer massage; I'm talking about those 2-hour ones that make you feel other-worldly. If that's too much money then find a massage buddy and swap massages. An unfavorable job can be made better by what you have to look forward to once you're off the clock. Stay strong! :)

[paulinejoyRN]

Nursing is stressful, yes. But learning and experience changes how one reacts to the stress.

Negative work environments typically do not change unless you become the leader. Don't let this experience turn you off from nursing. Learn what you can from it-- skills wise and what you don't want from your next job. Then leave when the time is right. The right work environment will do wonders for you, your mentality, and your happiness.

[windsurfer8, BSN, RN]

If you are getting into nursing to be "appreciated" then you are in the wrong business. You do it for your patients and not to be appreciated. Sure it is nice when people say nice things, but it also is not expected. If you cannot live being treated "poorly" (what do you mean by this?) and "trapped" ?? How can you be trapped in a career you chose based on free will and you can quit anytime you want?

Stop with the dramatic sentences. Either you do it or you do not. If you do it and you do not like it do something else. Life is pretty simple. You have more opportunities than 90% of the planet.

What job would you feel "appreciated" in? I am a military vet and I expect nothing from anyone. I did it to serve my country. Not to get a pat on the back. And seeing what I saw probably wasn't great for my "mental health". Now..that is me and you are you. You have to do what is best for you. Simple.

Good luck.

[mirandaaa]

This sounds ALL too familiar.

I worked full time as a CNA for three years and during this time, I couldn't decide if I wanted to pursue a degree in Nursing or Mortuary Science. My third year of working, I was working nights, 7p-7a, four nights a week. I was the only CNA to care for 26 residents on my hall and although the nurse on my hall was there, she oftentimes couldn't help me much because she had her own duties to do. From the moment I walked in, I was passing waters, passing new towels/washcloths, taking people to the bathroom, changing people, repositioning people, oral cares, putting the remaining people to bed alone, meanwhile 8 lights are going off. By the time I get a moment to catch my breath, it's time to do rounds again, and this continues all night.

Not to mention, even with 2 years experience, I was making under $10 an hour, and their PTO was a complete joke.

After a year, I decided to go PRN and pick up different shifts so I started picking up mainly 3-11s, but I just realized I was working myself to death and not getting anything from it. I started really hating what I did, and not because of the actual work, but because it was a nightmare every day and I was no longer happy.

I did PRN for a few months and ended up finding a different job completely out of healthcare and making way more money with normal business hours. During my time away from healthcare, I realized how much I miss it and how great I was at it and how much I enjoyed it (before I started at the crap place) and I just decided I knew what was meant for me and I was going to take every opportunity to pursue it.

Do what you feel is right, but just know there are way better places to work and maybe you need some time away to realize what's in your heart.