My mom is really upset about me leaving home for an assignment….

NedRN · Feb 17, 2022

This is a very personal decision and really what we might do personally should not affect your decision.

But we can also see which way you want to go. Thus, what you should do is reinforce what her surgeon says about risks. It is not a benign surgery and I believe most patients have micro-strokes which may not be detected, or whose symptoms are very temporary (perhaps not lasting through her PACU stay). The actual number of post op strokes is reported to be around 2%, and mortality from complications about 1%. Those might be comforting numbersxzfd, but not zero. Should a major stroke (or heart attack) occur, your main issue will be how other family members feel about your absence, not your mother. They may feel a sense of betrayal if they felt a need for in-family medical advice and "translation" of what medical providers tell them.

Trauma Columnist · Feb 20, 2022

I agree, very personal decision. However, you are 33 and since you are going to be back before Mom's surgery, I vote to go for it.

NightNerd, MSN, RN · Feb 21, 2022

On 2/15/2022 at 9:46 PM, Lucas F. said:

Dear Nurses,

I just landed a contract for a 13-week assignment in Charlotte, NC. My mom is 70, and is battling an 80% blockage of one of her carotids. She is set to go for surgery in April. I am one of 5, and my brothers live close by. I know that a carotid endarterectomy is a procedure done over 50 years, and it is a rarely safe procedure. But, I still worry.

I have been wanting to advance my career, and travel nursing has always been a dream. I feel guilty for leaving her at a time like this, and she was visibly sad when I said I would leave. Mind you, I am older (33), and I enjoy living with my mom and dad. My mom is everything to me, but I would be back home after my assignment. Would you guys wait until she went through surgery before going away, or would you take the assignment, and go?

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Lucas

Only you can decide how to handle this. Some questions I would ask myself in this situation are:

-Have you already signed the contract? If not, would it be possible to negotiate having a week, or even a shift or two, off so you could be home at the time of your mom's procedure?

-How likely is it that you'll be able to get a similar job to this one later on, if you choose to delay? Or, if it's not the contract that's important, are you likely to be able to travel later if you delay now?

-How might you feel if you're not at home for your mom's procedure? Not even if anything unexpected happens, but just being far from family when emotions and anxiety may be running high, for them as well as yourself?

There's no single right answer; it's entirely what you will feel the best about doing with the information you have available right now.

NO JOKES OR PUNS ALLOWED, BSN, RN · Feb 21, 2022

You signed the contract, from what you've described. For non-travelers reading this thread, you usually get about 24 hours from the offer to sign or decline. He's either signed it or said no at this point, and OP's language indicates he's probably signed.

When you signed it with a start date, it's over. You can ask them if they'll baby you and work around it, but the truth of the matter is, they're already struggling and your problems are nothing to them.

Travel nursing is mercenary work. Sometimes it's worth a blacklisting from an agency and hospital to do something. I wouldn't screw up opportunities for a carotid endarterectomy. It will probably go fine. The question is, how well can you cope if she dies and you're not there? In my mother's case, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, but I'd lose a lot of sleep depriving my family of money they need for their continued survival.

Seriously, though. I'd trade out spots with you if I could. I wish my mother's carotid was 80% blocked. She loves refusing necessary medical procedures as a means of manipulation.

John2018 · Feb 21, 2022

I agree with some of the comments here. It is really up to you how are you gonna cope with being away from home. Also, the dream that you have really involves you being away from your family, I think you need to recalibrate your dream.