My mental health is plummeting from my job

Feb 13

Dear Nurse Beth,

Oh man, where do I start... I'm having a bit of a career/ existential crisis. I have been a nurse for 3.5 years and recently started my third job. My first job was night shift in an adult surgical ICU, which turned into a COVID ICU about 6 months into me working there. It was terrible and I was at such a horrible place mentally.

After a year, I relocated cities with my husband for his job. I took a job in outpatient pediatric neurology, as I had originally desired to work with kiddos. This was great for a time- normal M-F schedule, less stress than inpatient nursing (though still stressful in different ways), and I had great relationships with my coworkers. I had always desired to venture back inpatient (I was drawn to the increased pay, more time off using my skills, etc), and considered this job as some sort of bridge.

When I felt like I was being called away from that job, I took a job on the inpatient side in pedi hematology/ oncology. I've been there almost 4 months now, and I am #struggling. I liked it just fine for the first month. Although at the time, I was on orientation and on day shift. Also, I feel like the unit may have been slower as a whole at that time.

Since starting night shift and being off orientation, my mental and physical health have taken a plummet. A large part of this is due to night shift. I see my husband less, I unintentionally lose weight, and I have serious FOMO. I have sooo much anxiety when I'm at work and I often feel overwhelmed.

I break down and cry before my first shift of the week, and often in between shifts. I have cried at work a few times too. I think switching to day shift would help a lot with my personal life/ physical health. However, day shift is busier and historically overwhelming. I'm not sure that I could handle it if I can barely handle my job on night shift.

Also, I currently don't have the opportunity to switch to days. I will give this job some time, obviously, before jumping ship. I know there is an adjustment period, and I will gain confidence with time. But I can't help but think, if my job makes me feel like this, brings me this much anxiety, and affects my mental/physical health, is it the job for me??

I certainly need to continue therapy and talk with my psychiatrist about adjusting medication, but I don't like how the job makes me feel. I don't see how I can sustain this. BUT I also don't want to be a quitter when things get hard and continue job hopping indefinitely.

I have struggled to find my passion/ niche in nursing. Nothing grabs my attention. Overall, it's not a career I'm passionate about. It's a job that pays the bills, and gives me occasional fulfillment that comes from serving others. Do I stay here and endure? Do I find a low stress nursing job (if those exist) with a better schedule, even though pay would be less? Do I leave the profession entirely?? I've talked about this with my husband, but he's not a nurse so can't fully understand. If I could go back and do it all over again, I probably would not have chosen nursing...

My mental health is plummeting from my job

4 Answers