My husband is driving me crazy.....

[studentdeb]

We got into an argument last night because of me being registered for A&P II for January. He thinks I should not take the course because I had such a tough time this fall. He thinks I should take math (which I do need).

Then the truth comes out. He does not think I would be a good nurse. He thinks I could do the job well, but I guess he thinks I don't have the personality for it. I asked him what he thinks I would be good at, he says administration, I said "a secretary" which I did for over 13 years, he says "no, but in charge of an office".

He says I never finish anything, I am getting too old to keep changing my mind and at my age I should know exactly what I want and go for it. (I am 40) I am still taking courses that are required for any degree (ethics, humanitites etc) and he thinks I should be done with those my now.

I cried so much last night and asked him "do you think I am not a good mother". I mean if I can't be a good nurse, maybe I can't be a good mom. (I know that I am and he said I am a great mother)

I plan to shadow a nurse in February and also am joining a group through my church where we will go to nursing homes. I figured doing these two things would help give me the reassurance needed to pursue the nursing field. I told him this also.

I have also been considering going into Social Work if I decide against the nursing, but now I wonder if I could do that either.

Since classes start in a week, I might go ahead and take the math and see what happens and take A&PII in the summer.

Sorry for the long post, just needed to unload. Thanks for reading.

[opalmRN]

QUESTION?

If you are soooooo awful, why is he hangin around?

C

[studentdeb]

Originally posted by opalm

QUESTION?

If you are soooooo awful, why is he hangin around?

C

I guess I am not. It'll be 21 years this May.

[jude11142]

Hi Deb,

Follow your heart. If you always wanted to become a nurse, then go for it!!! I went back to school at the age of 40 and now at 43, I am in school for RN(I am an LPN). I do understand what you are saying as I used to be very undecisive. I would also start something, then not finish or I would decide upon what I wanted to do and then not follow through. During those times, I was going through alot of personal problems(divorce, health problems etc). It wasn't until I realized that I was in charge of my own future that I changed. I also met a wonderful man(now married to him) who supported my decisions. He has and still is behind me all the way. Sometimes, it even get alittle embarrassing because he is so proud that I went back to school to follow my dream of becoming a nurse that he beams as he tells others that I am a nurse. LOL, it's cute but as I said, I get embarrassed at times.

You do need a support system though. So, whether it's your family or friends or this site, it is vital to have that support. I sincerely hope that your husband isn't so negative and isn't putting you down. I'm sorry if I am off-base here, don't mean no disrespect at all, but my first marriage was very verbally and then physically abusive and I see/hear some things that hit me wrong. I'll end those thoughts right now and get back to topic.

You can do it if that's what you want. It's very hard work going back to school at 20 and even harder when you are older and have other responsibilities(children,husband, bills etc)but it can be done. It will also make you feel better about yourself as you learn new things, pass exams, meet new people. Good luck, and remember, be confident!!!

JUDE

[majrn]

Good luck Deb, glad your husband apologized, I am sure he is feeling inadequate about being able to handle all of the things that you do at home and doing it as well as you. Keep your chin up, and focus on your goals. You will not be sorry that you kept on going. Nursing is very rewarding.

[Dr. Kate, BSN, RN]

I'm going to stick my neck out and be something of a devil's advocate here.

When I read your first post, I had a sense of concern on the part of your husband. Sometimes people like parents and spouses know us better than we think they do, or would like them to. It sounds as if your husband sees skills and talents in you that you may not be aware of or are dismissing. Since you're not 21, I'm going to presume you can handle honest discussion with a loved one. Ask him what makes him think you wouldn't make a nurse. Since you mentioned social work as an alternative, I think your husband may be seeing something in you you're missing. SW and nursing are very different, though they both are ways of working with and helping people.

You might want to consider going to see a career counselor at you school. A good career counselor will help you look at the various alternatives in careers, help you ask the right questions of yourself and others, and generally assist in the clarification process. In other words, they guide you in doing a lot of hard work.

I don't like to suggest that someone shouldn't go into nursing if that's what they think they want to do, but sometimes it's really not the right place for someone. (For example, my friend, the career counselor, was a nurse aid when I met her, wanted to be a nurse, and I was the one who told her she wasn't cut out to be a nurse. But, she's a great career counselor. Still works with and helps people.)

Whatever you decide, don't let anyone else make you think you're less than what you know yourself to be. People only have as much power over you as you give to them.

Good luck.

[LilgirlRN, ADN, RN]

Follow your dream, it's yours not his.

[Vmommyx4_RN]

Originally posted by Sleepyeyes

PS..... What he doesn't know, and you will soon learn, is that RN's ARE MANAGERS.

once again, the public perception of nurses is a lil bit off the mark

Thank you and Thank you. Who does he think is running things??? Not just in the medical field but in the home, are you not already a nurse and administrator full time at home???

As a married mother of four, I say yes!!!!

You are more than qualified and capable of being a nurse. And besides, grades are great, but I know some excellent nurses that struggled getting through school. Some classes are harder for each of us. Hold your head up and go girl go!!!!