My husband can't deal with my new experiences!

[CountrifiedRN]

Hi everyone!

You know how it feels when you are so excited about something, you just want to burst until you can tell someone? I have been experiencing so many new things in my clinical rotations, and I am so excited about actually being able to do new nursing skills. Up until last semester we had been doing a lot of CNA type stuff, which I've done before, so it was no big deal to me. Now we're finally getting to do a lot of meds, and dressing changes, and catheters, and other nurse related things, and I am just so excited about it I want to tell my husband all about it when we talk. It's the highlight of my clinical days, and I want to be able to share it with him.

But my husband can't stand to listen to that type of stuff, it really grosses him out. I know I shouldn't feel bad that he's just not into the medical stuff like I am, but I get my feelings hurt when he doesn't want to hear it. I feel like he's missing out on a big part of my life that I can't share with him, and it makes me feel like we are not close anymore. He is supportive in every other way, and is happy for me that I am finally doing what I've always wanted to do, but it is so hard not to be able to share that with him. I do have nursing school friends I can talk to, but I want him to be a part of this life also.

Has anyone else been through this? I guess I just want to know if this is normal, or if it will get better. Any words of wisdom?

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

Originally posted by TeresaRN2b

I try and think of it this way. My dh works as a maintenance mechanic. There are times when he comes home talking about work and I just smile and am supportive, but am absolutely clueless about what he is talking about. For the most part it is the most boring thing for me to hear about, but I listen anyway because it is his job and his interests. I try and remember this when he doesn't share the same enthusiasm as me. Please don't let this discourage you if your dh is being supportive in every other way ...

Teresa's got it right.

My hubby gets as excited and interested in my work as I do when he talks football, racing, or his concrete work...it's not that he doesn't CARE.. just can't relate. That's ok. He does care, so that's what's important ! I'm sure you'll have plenty of other wonderful life experiences to share in common...find someone to buddy with that can get really excited with you and have a "silly day" together every so often and let it all out ! I share your joy and excitement along with all the others here.. but sometimes it's more fun in person with a good buddy...

Keep your enthusiasm regardless of hub's inability to relate !

[RNIAM, BSN, RN]

We have pre and post conference so that we can get all the stuff out about our experiences. We all need to do it. My hurband is also not interested but then I am not interested in what he does either. I have a few nurse friends I talk to and that works for me.

[Mito]

Hello All,

Being male and in nursing I must say that the vast majority of men not in the health care field have no interest or stomach for all of the gory details. My father and brother absolutely quake with fear at the thought of a male having to catheterize another male, sounds silly to us yes, but look at from their perspective.

Most men like to feel like they are in control of both themselves and the situation. When in hospital they may not have control over either and for the first time may have to rely on others to have their basic needs met. Your husband probably does not like to think about being in hospital and all of the care that comes with it.

Since you stated he supports you in other ways just build on that and share your stories with people who are interested and can relate to your situation.

PS. I have seen many the macho man shudder with fear at the site of an IM coming their way, so I try to calm them down before doing any intervention.

Hope this helps with the "male" perspective

Mito

[CountrifiedRN]

Thank you, Mito, for the male point of view. I guess it's just hard for me to imagine anyone not being interested in gory stories! :chuckle I guess I'll have to reserve them for times that I'm with my buds from school, or maybe I can occasionally torment him like Kristi does to her hubby!

[Dublin37]

Jeeps! Just the mention of my carpal surgery when friends asked exactly what it was, and he was off running, blushing:imbar "are ya done yet?" He wouldn't come back until the coast was clear. He has let me know MANY times, not to tell him about any gross or wet or surgery etc. You get the picture. At first my feelings were hurt, but all of you are making me feel better. And luckily, my two kids, 10 and 7, LOVE to hear all the details that I can bring home. They are often digging through my A & P books looking for icky pic's. (Especially my boy!) Heather :chuckle

[Dublin37]

Jeeps! Just the mention of my carpal surgery when friends asked exactly what it was, and he was off running, blushing:imbar "are ya done yet?" He wouldn't come back until the coast was clear. He has let me know MANY times, not to tell him about any gross or wet or surgery etc. You get the picture. At first my feelings were hurt, but all of you are making me feel better. And luckily, my two kids, 10 and 7, LOVE to hear all the details that I can bring home. They are often digging through my A & P books looking for icky pic's. (Especially my boy!) Heather :chuckle