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My first...


Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice. Has 13 years experience.


"I have a medication for you" I said in my usual, quiet 3am demeanor. Turning around I saw him, entire torso taut, arms rigid, pulling against the wrist restraints. His eyes were large and focused dead on me, mouth clenched in a silent "you", as if telling me not to move.

My heart caught in my chest, slowly rising to my throat. Through my terror I talked to him, my brain screaming at me to call for help, my heart petrified that, in a detoxifying fury he was angry at me for bringing him a medication.

I stood there, anchored to the floor with the weight of my job, unsure if to hit the call light for help or back away slowly.

Fifteen seconds, he relaxes, eyes focusing back to the tv, arms soft, face losing the fierce red it had gained. His eyes came back to me, their normal confusion in place.

"I would really like some juice"

I walked out of the room furious. In the terror of the moment I managed to perceive (though I hope of all hopes my brain knows better) that this man had just tweaked on me. I walked the floor, trying to calm my shattered insides when the charge (a good friend of mine) called me over to give report.

I was distracted and she could tell.

"What's wrong?" She asked with a modicum of interest.

I explained the situation, and what I thought had just happened.

and she laughed at me...

"No, I don't think he was mad, are you sure he didn't have a seizure."

My heart hit the floor. A seizure...

I couldn't believe I had let my heart fight so against my brain to miss the clear signs of a person having a seizure! I went back and checked my patient, he was still mindlessly watching the movements on the television. My presence caught his attention and he looked at me, and asked once again for orange juice, and a scissors to cut the "tape" off his wrists that was keeping him stuck to the bed.

Doctors were paged, meds given, meds changed, consults called, pt is fine.

Sometimes the first times...scare the spirit right out of me.


pagandeva2000, LPN

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I can understand that...I suspect I would have responded the same way. I have been an LPN since 2006, and work in a clinic. I don't get to see much, really. I wrote down and carry with me what to do if a person is suspected to have an MI, respiratory distress and such, but I believe I would freeze or not recognize the first experience as well.

Years ago, working as an aide at a developmentally disabled home, I witnessed several seizures. The first time I witnessed one was while I was giving a patient a shower. She feel into a grand mal seizure before my very eyes. I started screaming like a lunatic, and staff came with some sheets, laid her on the floor (she was sitting in a shower chair) with the sheets under her head for protection, turned her into the recovery position (oh, and of course, the shower water was shut off).

Don't be hard on yourself.

wow! i thought i was reading a novel for a second! good writing skills!!!!!!:up:

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