My first code blue

[doho_rn, ADN, RN]

I am a new nurse and just recently experienced my first code blue. The pt was not mine but I was the first person in the room. A call had come in from tele to check on the pt in room 000. I ran in there followed by the pts nurse and a few other people he isnt breathing blood everywhere (looked like he had tried to take out his iv). I drop the rail hit the code blue button and start compressions.

Code team came in and took over and I stayed in to help with whatever they needed. The pt was worked on for 30 min, he didnt make it. When I got off my shift I didnt sleep that day (I work nights). The image of the pt, cpr, the feeling of compressions, the whole scene left an imprint on my brain. He had just been up walking and talking an hr before so it was very surreal.

Do you still remember your first code blue?

[Lennonninja, MSN, APRN, NP]

I definitely remember my first one. You did the right thing, you called the code and started CPR. It might take a while to get over it, but just know that you did a good job.

[wirehead]

You never forget your first anything. I came from Law Enforcement background, I've seen every possible kind of disaster you could imagine, come to think of it, I still remember them all. My very first death was an elderly gentleman who committed suicide by slashing his wrists with a straight razor in his recliner and putting his hands over the arm of the chair to drain his blood into a cooler, so his wife wouldn't have to clean up his blood. He left a note, cash, and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the table in front of him. I was a rookie at the time, and I noticed how the other guys dealt with it by joking about the situation, but I stayed quiet and had nightmares for a few nights. I still have the image of him burned into my mind to this day, and it was over 15 years ago. It's a form of PTSD in a sense, you will actually become more and more desensitized to it, but it doesn't make you any less human to feel emotional. Just get up each day and know you're making a difference in people's lives as a nurse, and remain strong as this wont be your last experience with death in our field.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

You will remember a lot of firsts...and some times things stick with you. sounds like you did a good job!

[Little Panda RN, ASN, RN]

I don't think you ever forget your first time losing a patient or any of them for that matter. I had my first resident death 3 years ago and I remember every detail of that day. It was my first time doing CPR. I like you just spoke with this person an hour before and then they were dead. It was a very unexpected death. I remember the day and time and will remember this resident forever!

Hugs to you.....

[akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P]

Yes, you will have a lot of "firsts" in this field. I've had several myself... but just a couple months ago, I had my first patient (as a Nursing Student) transfer himself to the ECU. Did it bother me? Not really. I've worked a couple dozen or so codes over the years, before I started nursing school. It probably bothered the nurse I was working with that day more than it bothered me.

We're kind of privileged, if I may say so, to be able to work with people when they're sick. Sometimes they have issues that we've not seen before personally. They can throw/show all kinds of weird stuff at us. No doubt you'll have many more "firsts" from here on out. It's one of the reasons I really love doing what I do!