My Dad diagnosed with cancer: Questions

[highasthesky]

i moved to ga the first of april to take care of my dad who has been diagnosed with lung cancer and it has metastasized to his brain. he's had 16 radiation tx's and starts chemo tomorrow. my sister and i have so many questions and feel that we're not getting straight forward answers and i thought this was the best place to try to find info. one doc says that with tx he could live up to but no longer than 2 years. another doc says that no one knows, he could live 2 months or 10 years. who is right? not only do we feel like we're watching him die right in front of our faces day by day, but we're also watching him suffer with excruciating headaches and fatigue. he had swelling around his eyes and they're oozeing today and yesterday, called the doc and he just said it was probably an eye infection and called in some eye drops. should he not have given him an antibiotic orally also? ok, maybe not, he's smarter than me of course. ok, our main questions, can anyone tell me exactly what they'll do step by step at the hospital during chemo? we keep asking but all they tell us is insert an iv. doesn't provide a whole lot of insight. they did tell us it would take 4 or 5 hours the first tx. also, although i've worked in a nursing home, i'm having to figure things out as i go as far as things to help my dad. they never told me that he would be so sensitive to light with the brain tumor. we just figured that out after him sitting, pointing and crying. does anyone know of any websites that give advice or things to look for with cancer pts? someone please be blunt with me and tell me what you think my dad's prognosis will most likely be? people tell us of survivors, we start thinking positive, then we hear negative things and it brings us back down. guess i have no faith anymore. anyway, any advice or info would be greatly appreciated.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I know you're very stressed out, but I don't think it's fair and appropriate to be asking us what his prognosis is.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Take one step, one day, one moment at a time. Make sure your dad has a say so in his treatment and that he isn't just trying to please the doctors and the kids. Advocate first and foremost for comfort and quality for your dad, not necessarily longevity.

In my experience eye drops are the best defense for eye infections rather than systemic or oral.

Receiving chemo is indeed like receiving an IV fluid bolus over several hours. The side effects afterwards are the big concern.

Hugs and best wishes to you. There are so many unknowns and it's not an exact science.

[Antikigirl, ASN, RN]

We do not give such advice here, and that makes sence because we are not physicians, we don't know your father's health history, condition at present or other items nurses would want to know. The biggest of these probelms being that we are NOT physicians and it is not within our scope of practice to diagnose/prognose...I am sorry .

My best suggestion is to visit the American Cancer Society web site and see if that can give you information or at least some good to the point questions to ask your fathers physician.

Good luck to you and I am very sorry about your father.

[APP]

You need to develop a rappor with his doctors, as they can best answer these questions for you.

Also, ask if the hospital where he is getting chemo has any support group for cancer patients and their families. Most hospitals have social workers, htey can probably point you in the right direction.

Yous should also conatc your local hospice organization.

I am so sorry you and your father are having to go through this.

[MIA-RN1, RN]

go to gildasclub.org.

Gilda's club got us thru my hubby's cancer.

[kaitsmama]

They never told me that he would be so sensitive to light with the brain tumor.

Don't get down on the physicians for not giving you this information. Each and every patient has different s.e. from a given tumor/cancer. Do however write down your questions and concerns. Be prepared when the physician comes to ask the items that you need to know. . .

It is so easy in that situation to forget exactly what you want to ask when the doc comes in and starts doing his assessment, etc.

Laura

PS No one can tell you your father's prognosis. Be there for him, advocate for his pain relief and enjoy his "good" days. I am so sorry for what you are all going through!

[rn/writer, RN]

Thread is now closed. OP reminded that medical advice can not be given. Encouraged to post again, asking for moral support, ideas for non-medical care and comfort measures, and information regarding web sites and support groups. Thanks to all who contributed.