My children made the choice for me

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

So even with all the petty garbage going on at work I was still going to put on my big girl panties & woman up. But I couldn't woman up through this.

My mother kept telling me how upset my oldest son was that I wasn't home, then the kicker. My oldest son asked my mother if *she* was his new mommy. I lost it & started crying hysterically. How could I do that to him? To both of my boys???

My husband is out of town for months at a time due to his work & now I'm at work for over 12 hours, so he barely sees the both of us. I felt terrible. I know it's because I'm working but I still felt like I was neglecting my children. I had a difficult decision to make. Either stay at work & lose personally or quit work & lose professionally.

I decided to quit my job, my kids are only young once & I didn't want to lose out on their first days of school or any school events. I know what that feels like because my dad was always working & never made it to any of mine. I don't want them to have 2 absent & constantly working parents.

[RN90]

Good for you. If you can afford financially, absolutely noble decision to take care of yr kids while they are young and needy. Many women do take off to raise young children and return to work at some point later. There is a lot you can do to keep abreast professionally while away from work if you intend to come back to the nursing career later. Best wishes to you and your family! I don't have kids but I am the breadwinner at the moment and do support kids in my extended family. If I could afford it, I would have long left what I do to pursue a different line of interest...

[llg, PhD, RN]

OK ... so you don't want to work full time. That's fine. But I do recommend you find some part time work to "keep you hand in" nursing somehow. You may NEED a job later and not be able to get one if you completely disappear from nursing. You need to keep your skills current and yourself qualified for employment in the future.

A part time job won't cause you or your family so much distress -- but it might save you (and them) in the years ahead if your finances change and you need to work to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. If it helps you (and them) feel better, take a portion of each paycheck and do something fun with it together as a family -- and save some for their college education. They will thank you later. You can do that without having to work full time.

Teach your children that mommy and daddy go to work to pay the bills -- to pay for things like food and clothes and toys and the house, etc. Just don't work full time if that is not something you have to do and don't want to do. Seek a balance.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

OK ... so you don't want to work full time. That's fine. But I do recommend you find some part time work to "keep you hand in" nursing somehow. You may NEED a job later and not be able to get one if you completely disappear from nursing. You need to keep your skills current and yourself qualified for employment in the future.

A part time job won't cause you or your family so much distress -- but it might save you (and them) in the years ahead if your finances change and you need to work to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. If it helps you (and them) feel better, take a portion of each paycheck and do something fun with it together as a family -- and save some for their college education. They will thank you later. You can do that without having to work full time.

Teach your children that mommy and daddy go to work to pay the bills -- to pay for things like food and clothes and toys and the house, etc. Just don't work full time if that is not something you have to do and don't want to do. Seek a balance.

I plan on going back to school to become an RN when/if I want to go back to work.

[TriciaJ, RN]

I think you will not regret being home more for your kids. You are right; your kids are only young once and they need you now. You will cross the necessary career hurdles when it's time. Wishing you all the best.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Organized, Yay on both counts. The time that you actually have with your kids in life is very limited. If you can afford to pay the bills and want to stay with your kids Good Choice!!! I was young when I had my boys and regret that I spent so much time making money and not enough with them. All the garbage I bought in the past is long gone but they are still here & regret not being a bigger part of their lives.

Yay become an RN!!

Good for You!!!!

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I think you will not regret being home more for your kids. You are right; your kids are only young once and they need you now. You will cross the necessary career hurdles when it's time. Wishing you all the best.

Thank you! I felt so guilty when I was working. I didn't place my oldest child in daycare until he was closer to two. I feel like I missed so much of my second child's "babiness" because I was working & he was in daycare. I do not regret the decision at all.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

Organized, Yay on both counts. The time that you actually have with your kids in life is very limited. If you can afford to pay the bills and want to stay with your kids Good Choice!!! I was young when I had my boys and regret that I spent so much time making money and not enough with them. All the garbage I bought in the past is long gone but they are still here & regret not being a bigger part of their lives.

Yay become an RN!!

Good for You!!!!

This is exactly how I feel. Money comes & goes, but time goes & never comes back. My second son is already 1 and I don't want my kids to think I work so much that I don't love them. There needs to be a balance.

I want to get my RN because there is so much more I can do as an RN versus an LVN. But that also has to be done at the right time.