New Grad NP and Breast Lump

Published Feb 24

4 Posts

Hi All,

I just graduated NP school and while applying for jobs, I found a pea sized lump just under the outer perimeter of my areola - I went to my obgyn and she ordered US and mammogram that I couldn't schedule for a month out cause they were fully booked. My obgyn also said she wasn't worried cause I'm only 30, but let's get it check out just in case. I really wasn't worried about it either while I was looking for a job - I was thinking about how I don't have too many risk factors and it's probably just a fibroadenoma. Radiologists almost talked me out of doing a mammogram too. Radiologist ended up calling a couple days after my imaging saying that I need to talk to my doctor about getting a biopsy. I am walking in to see my obgyn this coming week to go over my imaging and plan the biopsy - I doubt she's seen the results yet, she is so extremely busy.

Before finding all this out this past week about needing a biopsy, I accepted a job offer for an outpatient clinic about 3 weeks ago. I'm going through onboarding right now and projected to start next month. I really need this job.. It pays well and I get benefits. I have young children, my husband isn't working and has no plans as of now to get back into working (burn out from being a caregiver), and I'm trying my best to get my family back on our feet. My current job as an RN isn't going to be enough to support my family as it's only part time and no benefits - I chose it for flexibility with small children while in NP school when my husband was working.

My anxiety is through the roof right now. I can't sleep at night. I am trying my best to stay positive and think it's just benign- but my anxiety led me to palpate it again and it feels irregular and immobile now that I am hyper focused on it. And it's giving me even more anxiety.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I hate this feeling of uncertainty - I was so happy and excited when I got the job. My husband's response was - it's nothing, stop worrying; and I'm hiding all my feelings from my children. I feel so alone. If the biopsy results come back as CA before I start on the floor, could I lose this job opportunity? Would it make sense to try to push through and work during treatment? It's just a terrible time to be getting this work up right now, but I know my health in this case would have to be my priority. But it's hard because I think of what I need for my children - I cannot say confidently that I can count on my husband to step it up.

so I'm going through it, trying to distract myself.. ;—; *crying

Any motivational stories are so greatly appreciated.