My Career in Nursing: The Road to Self-Actualization

[amanda_kay,RN]

Hello fellow nurses!

I have been in the healthcare field since I was fifteen years old. I worked as a lifeguard in high school, then became a CNA, LPN, and RN (ADN). I worked in a Skilled Nursing Unit as a CNA/LPN, and my first job as an RN was in intensive care.

The first year was a challenge, one that nursing school could never have prepared me for. I did well in nursing school and I am a confident individual, but I was broken on many occasions. Most days it was all I could do to put my scrubs on and drive myself to work. Just learning how the technology worked- the computers (charting), monitoring devices, the phone system, pagers, faxing machine, etc. was stressful. Then there were all the tasks I thought could never be accomplished in a 12 hour shift: assessments, charting, medication administration, starting IVs, drawing blood, more charting, calling physicians, bathing, turning, more meds, more charting, etc. And that was if the night was routine and patients were stable. Getting an unstable admit at 0200 while there was a code in progress on the unit was enough stress to make me feel ill. And on top of the learning curve, I was trying to develop relationships with other nurses, learning how to effectively communicate with physicians, and how to speak to concerned family members about their critically ill loved ones. All of these things are still difficult, but I have now been working in ICU for a year and three months, and I have made it past the worst of it all. Though I sometimes have pre-work jitters, I would say I am much more comfortable in my role.

Unfortunately, I am having a hard time finding satisfaction from my work as a registered nurse. I leave work feeling exhausted and defeated. Although I am sure I have helped people to some degree, in many occasions I feel like I could do a lot more for my patients, but don't have the time to do it. We are constantly having meetings for quality improvement and how we can improve patient satisfaction, but it always ends with more tasks or more charting on our part. How can I do more for my patient when my list of tasks is lengthening and I have to spend more time on the computer? And how can I do something for my patient if the doctor won't provide an order (which is the case when you get an 'on-call' physician on the phone who doesn't know, and or have any interest in your patient)? Although this isn't always the case, I believe every nurse has been in that position at some point and understands where I am coming from.

Bottom line: I know that not everyone's job is perfect, and we are going to have a bad day now and then. But I am utterly disappointed with my career. I do not like the healthcare system. I enjoy being challenged, I like to learn, and I love to feel like I can help people and make a difference. I am 22 years old, and I have known for some time that I was going to go back to school, however I am not sure what I want to do. I am willing to put in the time, effort, and money to get a masters of even doctorate degree. I have not obtained my BSN yet because I am not sure I want to stay in nursing. Maybe I would enjoy being an advanced practice nurse, but I just have so many doubts about my field. I have thought about PA school too. Is there anyone out there with similar frustrations? Does anyone have any career suggestions? I have been doing research on career options, and I know some nurses venture away from the bedside to work in business or legal. I was hoping to hear ideas from people with similar experiences, or hear success stories from people who have found happiness in their profession. Any input would be greatly appreciated!!

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Crusty old bat here -

It's obvious that you are bright, energetic and very self motivated. I'm so glad you chose nursing because we need people like you to ensure that our profession can adapt and thrive in future years.

Please don't expect work to provide everything you need. Nursing is a profession, not a vocation. It is very risky to put all of your emotional investment into only one area, particularly your job - it is probably the most unstable aspect of anyone's life. Your "relationship" with your job can be eliminated at any time through no fault of your own by any number of employer actions - such as a simple budget cut.

Work will always be important & it's terrific when it provides a source of positive feedback and personal satisfaction . . . but it's only one part of your life. Expanding your horizons and finding deeper meaning in other areas of your life will make you much more resilient.

[Joe NightingMale, MSN, RN]

There could be a variety of reasons you're unhappy with your job.

It could be that specific unit/hospital/health system. I found myself much more unhappy when I moved from my inner-city charity hospital med-surg job to a cardiac stepdown job at a large teaching hospital. The primary reasons were that the teaching hospital was obsessed with customer satisfaction and the pace of the unit was just too fast (and I don't think the unit manager liked me). So you might feel different at a different unit/hospital.

Or it could be bedside nursing in general. After my stepdown experience I decided that I wanted to get away from the bedside. While my med-surg experience was better I still saw a lot of problems there too. So I looked into all kinds of area...research nursing, home health, hospice, and case management. Through a fluke a got a job in case management for an insurance company, and I'm still there. Lots of problems at the place I work, but I like the work and the people much better than on the floor. So you might feel differently doing something like CM, or home health or hospice.

Or it could be healthcare in general. Perhaps it's not the right field for you. In which case one of these non-bedside roles might lead you to places other than healthcare. One reason I like what I do is that I could potentially move into other fields, as many of the skills are transferable. And I could move into an area in my company, like quality management, which is common across many industries.

I'm not sure which one applies to you. You'll have to spend some time thinking it over. While I agree that a job should be everything, I think that your working conditions are important, and for some people very very important. It's good that you're thinking about what you like and dislike and what matters to you

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I'm willing to share:

I've been through nursing since the early 2000s-the boom of "customer service model" of nursing. I have been a CNA (5 years) LPN (7 years) and a RN (1year) If I wasn't happy with this profession, or felt I couldn't be objective and assertive or personally happy with this profession, I would've probably found something else to do, or found a rich man, lol. Seriously.

I have friends in healthcare, public safety, military, education, research, business, IT, real estate, construction, public health, social work...people are people are people...personality does not always transcend professions....the most important aspect in interacting with people; especially peers and the public is your expectations of YOU...The only expectations that I have of myself in this profession is to remain objective and to maximize myself and my profession; I have the attitude of "what can be done?" MOST of the time throughout my time in this business in each role I have been in. I have mixed it up in terms of specialties and utilized the same attitude towards each one, whether it's for profit, non-profit, community or teaching hospital; each with different, yet same complexities; I have been able to nurse in each setting with this mindset successfully. Do I vent? Sure; but I vent and move on; tomorrow is another day; life is too short to be unhappy.

I travel outside of the country to different continents physically and through reading fiction; I go out with peers and family and enjoy out of the box activities or can enjoy meaningful as well as silly conversations, movies and board games;

I volunteer; I meditate and love yoga. I also paint, and I bake, which is very therapeutic. This winter, I plan on learning to knit because my favorite accessory are scarves.

Like HouTx stated, about nursing being a profession, I enjoy my profession, however, I do have a life outside of the shift I work...it's over, and a new shift and a new day is a different day. I choose to live in the here and now. I will say I've learned to utilize all the aspects of nursing school to apply it effectively for my patients and peers and for myself, even down to the nursing process; but I am most effective at self care; like I said before, life is too short to be unhappy.