My boss is a jerk, and other related gripes.

[mccarrank]

I've been getting pretty frustrated lately with my current work situation and I want to get some feedback from people. I work at a large, federal medical facility that will remain nameless. I've been here for about a year now and my nurse manager on the unit started about the same time. He is the kind of person that doesn't know how to talk to people, and also has no insterest in working with or helping his employees with problems, at least from my point of view. He is constantly quoting policy and has to have someone tell him what the answer to your question is before he can make a decision. I have some things to work out with HR and the union but do you guys have any advice on how to deal with a manager like this? He only comes to anyone when he has a problem to discuss with them, never encouraging good work. He never wants to work with the staff to figure things out. For example, I'm a volunteer firefighter who was on a call one night. Shift starts at midnight but I wasn't able to get to work until one. I called ahead and informed them what was happening. He called me into his office that morning and said he was going to check with HR, he later left me a voicemail stating that he had checked with HR and that being on a fire call is not excusable for being late. He is unprofessional but careful, never putting things in writing but will try to corner people to have conversations where he wants to make agreements. Then he types up something and has you sign it. It got to the point where I was working day shift and had to switch to nights to get away from him and the stress he created in my life. Part of the problem is I have no-one I feel I can trust and go to with a problem without fear of being reprimanded. That's a basic overview, and it stinks. Let me know if you have any advice on making things a little less stressful.

[sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN]

i would seriously transfer to another unit, and depart from his "radar" , of similar intensity.....ie if you are in Er, icu, cath lab, pacu are good examples

[llg, PhD, RN]

Frankly, he doesn't sound all that bad to me. It's not his job to help you solve your personal problems -- or to try to help you schedule your other job. His job is to make sure you and he are following the policies. It is perfectly reasonable for him to consult with HR before advising you on your situation being late for work because of another job. No employer would/should be very tolerant of a worker being late because of another job commitment.

Yes, he should be more encouraging and supportive of positive behavior -- but not being particularly "touchy-feely" should not be a "hanging offense." It's a minor sin, not a sign of major incompetence.

My suggestion is that you conduct some of your conversation about "business matters" with him via e-mail. That way, he'll have time to look up the policy he needs to consult or get advice from HR ... and you'll have a written record of your key interactions. Also, I recommend you reading up on the relevant policies of your institution so that you can be sure to be in compliance.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

If you think your boss is a jerk then I don't know what you would do if you hate my mother's boss.

I don't see anything he did that would be defined as "jerky" behavior. You agreed to work for the hospital & be a volunteer firefighter. Your boss told you that wasn't a good excuse to being late & now I think you're mad. But that doesn't make him a jerk.

So either find a new unit/job or stay where you are.

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

So you were late to work. Boss says " Sorry not acceptable" and boss is a jerk?

No, Boss is looking out for the good of the unit. What if you were 4 hours late?

I think being a volunteer fire fighter is a great thing, but you can 't expect your colleagues to work short because of it.

[mccarrank]

Fair enough, perhaps it is just my own emotions preventing me from seeing things objectively. In the past, I've never had a boss so 'robotic'. He seems to lack passion for his job and when the people I work with and myself care about our patients so much and provide quality work in less than optimum conditions, it's difficult to have the added stress of having to watch my back. Even more so when I'm making efforts for improvement. As much as I would like to switch units, oppurtunities are few and far between for LPN's.

[Gooselady, BSN, RN]

Fair enough, perhaps it is just my own emotions preventing me from seeing things objectively. In the past, I've never had a boss so 'robotic'. He seems to lack passion for his job and when the people I work with and myself care about our patients so much and provide quality work in less than optimum conditions, it's difficult to have the added stress of having to watch my back. Even more so when I'm making efforts for improvement. As much as I would like to switch units, oppurtunities are few and far between for LPN's.

He sounds dreadfully insecure/unconfident in his role. I have a sense he is raking himself over the coals far worse than he's doing it to his staff, and I'd bet something tasty but inexpensive that he doesn't like his job very much!

When people FEEL this way on the inside, on the OUTSIDE they often come across as snotty or standoffish. Like the shy kid in school that everyone thought was stuck up.

I've been a manager, but not in a federal facility. I can only imagine the bureaucracy of HR in a place like that. Federal employees have a lot of complicated rights and there's hell to pay if you as a manager get it wrong. Another reason for him to dislike his new position . . .

Anyway, it's sort of your problem now, too.

In all my years as a nurse (24 now) I've given up on being butthurt if I don't get much in the way of 'rah rah!' from my manager or administration, you know? If my patients and their families are happy with me and tell me about it, and my manager ignores me except to tell me when I screwed up, then I figure I've got it pretty good.

His behavior is NOT personal to you. He's acting the way he is for a million of HIS OWN reasons that have zilch to do with you. Even though his behavior is causing you distress, it's YOUR distress, rather than something he is deliberately doing. I didn't get the impression he is singling you out for abuse or micromanagement, so therefore it doesn't look 'personal' to me.

If you are pleased with the job and see your coworkers and unit as good things, then let go of your expectations of this manager. He will either get better over time or he'll quit, just like the next person. Making him into a big scary meanie and yourself into a put-upon victimized staff nurse is ONLY going to ruin your day, and if a person can choose NOT to ruin their own day, they ought to

[mccarrank]

This is good, I think part of the problem is being surrounded by the negativity. My coworkers and I are constantly complaining about the newest thing that seems irrational (and often is) that he does. A little outside perspective helps. I have tried to think about it from his shoes but we're just completely different people. The other part of the problem is LTC leaves too much room for drama and complaining, but that's another discussion entirely.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

I am not sure I would call this irrational. His job is to be sure that the nurse's on the unit are following policy.

That he is direct in regards to it, is just that--there shouldn't be any emotion behind telling you that your lateness due to fire call is an unexcusable absence. He is informing, not getting "in your face" or filling a simple statement of policy into a big drama.

And I would be the first to say--"Thanks for having discussion with me regarding this policy. I need to think on what we have discussed. Could you please send me an email as to what policy you are referring to, so I have it for future reference, and what you are proposing?"

If he is typing stuff up and wanting you to sign them, he can send it all through email with the policy he is referring to attached.

And don't sign anything until you have had time to look it over, and get your union rep to do the same. And if you are unclear on the policy after reading it, ask for clarification.

It sounds to me as if there was a great deal of NOT following policy for a length of time, and that the manager is attempting to get everyone back on the same page. So it would be up to you all to pull together as a team to be sure all of these policies are followed. With or without his cheerleading, or lack thereof.

It is tough when a new manager comes in and makes changes, even if said changes are in fact policies that were supposed to be followed to begin with. And to do so without engaging beyond being direct. But one could argue that direct is a heck of a lot better than demanding, degrading, drama. The task at hand is to bring everyone up to policy standard. (and perhaps a survey is coming up.....)

[Gooselady, BSN, RN]

This is good, I think part of the problem is being surrounded by the negativity. My coworkers and I are constantly complaining about the newest thing that seems irrational (and often is) that he does. A little outside perspective helps. I have tried to think about it from his shoes but we're just completely different people. The other part of the problem is LTC leaves too much room for drama and complaining, but that's another discussion entirely.

Then it sounds like the problem is just as much (if not more?) the run-amok negativity of the nurse's attitudes on the unit. You know how much WORSE it can be when nearly everyone is making the same negative comments, focusing on the same negative things. It's like feeding a fire that won't go out until people stop feeding it.

It could be this manager is acting the way he does because of the crap he's getting from the staff! It wouldn't be unheard of. Managers are people too. I know I would feel it loud and clear, it's not something you can NOT notice, when your staff is so negative toward you