My Biggest Concern: Dealing with Death

[luvcruedani]

I think my biggest worry with going into Nursing is dealing with death. Not about seeing a dead person but having to tell the family there loved on has died. Could someone please offer some advice or just some insight on how you got through it and how long if ever it took you to become almost used to it. I know it's something I will have to deal with I just think it will be hard seeing their family in such a state a grief.

[Ramcharger310, ASN, CNA, RN, EMT-B]

Pm sent!

Excuse my grammar, I am on a tablet.

[DisastermanRN]

I've been in the emergency room nurse for 15 years now and I've had to tell dozens of people that their loved ones have died. The most important thing to remember is be professional ,the whole situation is not about you... And keep your distance when you tell them, at least two arms length. you never know how people are going to react to hearing someone they love has died. Know in your heart you did the very best you could for that person while they were here on earth and now their pain is over.

[TLizS]

This was my ONLY hold up on choosing nursing. I am a very emotionally invested person....I can't imagine I will ever get used to it....BUT a dear friend who has been a RN for many years and I respect immensely told me that yes you are going to have those things to deal with but the good will totally outweigh the bad. You will learn how to handle it with experience....it won't ever be easy but caring is what makes the good nurses so you shouldn't let the fear of essentially caring too much hold you back.

Her advice is what pushed me to finally finish up my pre reqs and apply. I don't think it will ever be easy or you will ever "get used to it" but with experience you will learn the best ways to handle it. And caring too much isn't a good reason to hold you back from following your heart.

[SopranoKris, MSN, RN, NP]

Luckily, you won't be put in that position for quite some time. The best thing you can do is be genuine & sincere when you're speaking to the family. Having just lost a family member less than a year ago, I was impressed by how the nursing staff genuinely cared about him. It touched our family that the nurses shed a tear with us. Obviously, they were very professional about it and left the floor to get their composure back. But seeing that side of them made us feel how much they actually cared about him. I don't think it's ever going to be an "easy" thing to do.

[Leonardsmom,LPN]

Coming from the CNA side of things at this time I have not been the one that has had to tell a family member that their loved one has passed, the responsibility of the nurse who I am working under. However, with over 6 years experience in LTC and now working in short term care/rehabilitation it is something that you never quite get use to. I have experienced death in many ways from a person who has long been fighting a disease such as cancer and when they do pass on there is a peace about it because you know that the pain and suffering that you have witnessed as they had fought this disease is over, to the death of a person under your care being very unexpected. Even though my nurse was the one to inform the family of their loved ones passing I have still had interaction with the family members after this event. Being able to read people and if you have had contact with the family before to be able to know them and build rapport I believe can help. I express to the family member my sorrow in their loss, if appropriate and and will be accepted a hug or touch on the arm. One time I had a lady whose mother was in my care on my hall, she had expressed her fear of her mother dying alone. Shortly after this just as I had started my shift one day I had entered the room to check on how she was doing to find that she had already passed. When the daughter came in after she had been contacted she had asked me if her mom had been alone when she went. I had two choices tell her the truth that she did, which would have only added to her grief or give her some little comfort and tell her that I was there when it happened. Some people may not agree with my decision but I did what would give the daughter comfort.

Be professional and sincere when talking to the family, if you need to take a couple of minutes off the floor to gain your composure. Also depending on the setting that you are working in, if this is someone who you have had the opportunity to be able to get to know and develop a relationship with know that it is okay to grieve, just not in front of the family members at their time of loss.