Nurses Humor
Published May 9, 2002
Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks
the
> >mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
> >
> >Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet
> > away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the
flush.
> >The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for
blood
> >plasma.
> >No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
> >Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
> >You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
> >Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age
or
> >older.
> >The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
> >The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache
> >A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first
> >flight.
> >American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from
> >each salad served in first-class.
> >Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
> >Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the
> >morning.
> >The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
> >Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
> >The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
> >Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
> >Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the
Nike
> >factory workers in Malaysia combined.
> >Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
> >All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being
seen
> >wearing them in public.
> >Pearls melt in vinegar.
> >Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating
are
> >already married.
> >The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola,
and
> >Budweiser, in that order.
> >It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
> >A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
> >The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from
> >the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were
> >stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight
> >staircases.
> >Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name
contains
> >all the letters from the word "criminal." The second?
> >William Jefferson Clinton.
> >And, the best for last.....
> >Turtles can breathe through their butts. :p :roll
WashYaHands
455 Posts
Turtles can breathe through their butts
wow, no sh**?
All this time I thought my water turtle had gas. :chuckle
Linda
donmurray
837 Posts
But why would they want to ? LOL
zumalong
298 Posts
Another very important known fact is that spider's have their penises located on their legs. So if you see a spider walking funny it might mean he is very excited.
AmandaDawn
16 Posts
Wow I learned something today!
OBNURSEHEATHER
1,961 Posts
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have > produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy, But I'm still not over the pig.)
The male preying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig...quality over quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too!)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??!!!)
Heather
Create well-written care plans that meets your patient's health goals.
This study guide will help you focus your time on what's most important.
Choosing a specialty can be a daunting task and we made it easier.
By using the site, you agree with our Policies. X