Moody nurse manager....

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Hey all,

Overall, my current NM has been pretty good to me...but man has she been moody lately!!! You just never know from one day to the next how she is going to "be" when she comes in. This morning...I messed up my punching on the time clock (which has been happening cause we just got time clocks)...anyways...I asked her a question about it and told her that I messed up and she goes "god, I hate Monday's" and "Oh, I just love my job(all sarcastic like)" , and a few other choice things. She looked like she was going to explode or something. I know being NM is stressful but I don't think i did anything to deserve being treated so poorly. Overall...I think she has a really hard time dealing with stress and if one little thing is out of line...she blows. She's done this to a lot of people in the morning....flying off the handle for no reason....even to the point of throwing things and slamming down charts. I seriously think that she is going thru menopause and is taking it out on us. I'm just really sick of her bad moods!!! OH well...maybe(hopefully) I'll get this new triage job and move on to bigger and better things. Although...I think she really may blow if I get the job...she's already short two positions as of now....and I am the only full time night nurse. I think she really depends on me to cover nights and kind of "keep others on the night shift in line". I will feel kind of bad if I leave but I've been a loyal employee and deserve the right to move on....right? Ok....I guess this was just a rant....anyone else have a moody NM?? Ok..thanks for listening..

luv,

snoop'

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I'm sorry to hear your stress with this. Your NM may be suffering burn-out. It could be lots of reasons causing her outbursts. This is unacceptable behavior.

Since it seems that the outbursts are not intentionally caused by you, she may need a reality check so she can bring things into perspective. I don't beat around the bush. When she has an out burst like that, see if she will step aside to discuss something with you. If no time then and there...see if she can make some time for you to talk to her. You can approach her like this....I have noticed lately.....insert some general examples of her lashing outs..in a kind way. Then ask, "is there something I have done to disappoint you because I can see that something is up...."

That's kind of general...it may start the ball rolling...she may realize how she is burdening you with her anger or whatever it is and you both may be able to come to an understanding. Be honest and let her know how her reactions and statements make you feel. If it doesn't work...I vote to move along.

Good luck.

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Sometimes nurse managers get moody because they feel that the whole world is resting on their shoulders. The job is huge...trying to please patients, staff and administration at the same time, staffing and scheduling, open positions that lead to less than optimal staffing, constant worry that she'll have to work as staff in addition to her 40-50+ hrs/week, performance improvement data collection and tracking, reports, meetings, budget, projects, dealing with complaints from everyone (staff, other depts, administration, patients and families, physicians)...the list goes on and. And at the end of the day (or week), the work goes home with her, because she has 24/7 accountability and responsibility. Your manager is only human and sometimes the workload gets to her.

It may help her to know that you care...I agree that meeting with her and pointing out that you've noticed her stress level is high could help. Sometimes managers feel that no one appreciates or cares about them.

Good luck.

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You absolutely have the right to move on if you want to. Don't pass up an opportunity just so you can appease some NM who may mean very little to you in even 1 year.

NMs do have stressful jobs, from what I hear. Maybe yours is having some troubles in her life that are interfering w/her work. Maybe she's just dissatisfied with her job! However, it is not your problem, so don't take it on yourself.

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As a nurse manager, i can tell you, it can be awfully tough sometimes to deal with the multiple complaints you recieve in any given day. Between other staff members, other discaplines, family members, doctors ect, it can get very overwhelming. And atho i try not to get attitudy, some days it just builds up. I do know when im getting very short with my staff and do apologize when i do. So, dont take her attitude too personally. And when its time to move on, you'll know.

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Specializes in ER, ICU, Nursing Education, LTC, and HHC.

We all have good days and bad days.. I take it all in stride with a smile. Though I am a bit different than most nurse managers, I actually treat them all very well, and get the same in return.. I have worked with other NM like you describe.. and wonder what the heck are they doing!!??? amazing...

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Specializes in CCU,ICU,ER retired.

I had a NM just like that. She was just wretched from 7-10 am. And ,Oh my god don't even get me started on when she was pregnant for like 4 yrs and would come in the morning.

But I had from 10 am until 7 pm she was gold and the best NM I ever had. We would just do baths and steer clear from 7a-10a

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Yeah,

I guess I can totally understand....I'm sure she does have a lot of coals in the fire at all times...and actually I don't envy her at all. Like I said..overall..I guess she has been pretty darn good to me and I thank her for that. Her moodiness is a bit annoying at times though. I feel moody a lot at work...but I guess I never take it out on my co-workers, which I am proud of. I really do love my NM and will probably miss her if I get this new job...but I do find it kind of ironic that she carries on...throws things,etc. right at the nurses station in front of everyone and then in return tells us that we must always be on our best behavior at the station because there are families, patients, etc walking by. It would be nice if she would listen to her own advice..u know?

hugs,

snoop;

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It definately sounds like she is overstressed... why not ask her to have a cup of coffee with you? That right away puts you in a favorable setting for conversation. Tell HER that YOU have been feeling stress, and ask her what she does to handle it. By reversing the angle, you might actually bring out her good side and make your work relationship better. Sounds crazy, but I have done this before and it worked like a charm. When I asked my stressed-out supervisor how she handles stress, she actually smiled and started talking about her new grandbaby and how much she loved him, which ended up with us chatting for a while, then the tension between us was never there again- I think it changed to more of her catching my eye during the stressful moments and giving me a "we're in this together" smile. Or if I saw her starting to flip out I would come to her and say "remember, grandbaby grandbaby grandbaby" and she would smile and laugh. We actually became friends. Worth a shot, right?

Lori

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It definately sounds like she is overstressed... why not ask her to have a cup of coffee with you? That right away puts you in a favorable setting for conversation. Tell HER that YOU have been feeling stress, and ask her what she does to handle it. By reversing the angle, you might actually bring out her good side and make your work relationship better. Sounds crazy, but I have done this before and it worked like a charm. When I asked my stressed-out supervisor how she handles stress, she actually smiled and started talking about her new grandbaby and how much she loved him, which ended up with us chatting for a while, then the tension between us was never there again- I think it changed to more of her catching my eye during the stressful moments and giving me a "we're in this together" smile. Or if I saw her starting to flip out I would come to her and say "remember, grandbaby grandbaby grandbaby" and she would smile and laugh. We actually became friends. Worth a shot, right?

Lori

Good post :)

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