5 Months In, Seem to Have Hit a Rough Spot

[missninaRN]

So, I thought things were going well. My first couple of months went really well. I dealt with a lot of little crises, sudden changes in pt status, etc and managed to get through them and keep everyone alive and safe. But the last couple of weeks have been particularly rough.

I've been making stupid mistakes (forgetting to document something, forgetting to write an order, etc) and end up spending my days off worrying about my errors. I don't exactly dread going back to work, but I have this constant sense of low-level anxiety until I get back on the floor and see that my patients are still okay and that I'm not in trouble.

I've not done anything serious enough to lose my job, but I hate feeling like I've done something wrong. I'm honestly trying my best, but the last two weeks have been harder, much more challenging and stressful due to pt acuity and I find myself waking up in the middle of the night realizing that I forgot to do something. I've made several 3:00 a.m. phone calls to my unit just to tell them things I should have told them in report.

I'm also feeling stupid while talking to some of the doctors. I've managed to make a fool of myself in front of all of them by now. Last week I confused lanoxin and lovenox in my mind while talking to a Dr. who, fortunately, has an excellent sense of humor.

And I can't seem to remember even half of what I learned in school. Stuff happens, I call the Dr, get orders, implement them, keep my patients safe, and then go home. And then, later, a light bulb goes on in my head and I make a connection between something the Dr or another nurse said and my patient's condition. It's almost like I have to see everything I learned in school in real life before it really becomes a part of my body of knowledge. At least I'm learning something new every day.

I keep hearing that it takes 6 months to a year to really get up to speed. I've got the feeling I'm going to be one the nurses who take a year. I hope it passes quickly. I'm not used to being inept and it's demoralizing.

[dorselm]

I am a nursing student about to embark on transitions at the end of the month. I have a feeling I will be writing something along these lines pretty soon. I know I'm not a nurse yet, but judging from all the posts I've read from other first year nurses, this sounds pretty normal. It's good that you care enough to call at 3 am to make sure you give the next shift important info. You sound like a very caring and compassionate nurse who just has to tough it out until it gets better and you will.

[NurseBrittney]

hey... quit telling my story!

I'm right there with you, just when I was starting to feel like I might be gaining a little confidence, tons of tiny errors daily... nothing big, but enough to get me bent of shape. Glad to know I'm not alone. I was starting to worry.

I hope that it just comes with experience, and I try daily to not repeat the same mistake twice.