6 months and feeling down:(

[NewNurse16]

HI all...I have been a nurse 6 months now. I guess I should be able to say I feel great at this point, but like everyone in their first year in nursing (and with many years in nursing) I have my good days and bad daysand I really do love my job.. I can't say the past 3 days were necessarily bad days, but I can say that I felt like I didn't do enough for my patients. I think deep down I know that I gave the best care possible, but it was just everyone making me feel like I was a bad nurse. First their was the clinical instructor who had students on our floor and I had 2 of her students. I know she is supposed to be really on top of things, but I have enough confidence issues as it is I don't need someone looking at me or talking to me like I am doing a bad job or that I am not doing enough. My pt was having heart rate/arrhythmia issues, but the MDs were aware. I told them consistently and docmumented consistently yet she still made me feel like I could have done a better job. Then there was the nurse from another unit who came to help us out with change of shift...questioning everything I said in my report..again yesterday was day 2 of 3 with my patients and I feel like I got to know them pretty well and I was able to tell how well they were doing compared to the day before. The MDs were aware of all interventions...one went to the bedside to assess the pt when i asked him to and he agreed with my assessment...I felt like I was doing all I could and my paients weren't improving. And then there was the person I got report from this morning who has only been on the floor for a month or 2 and seems to have too much confidence. I can take constructive criticism, but I would rather take it from someone with more experience than me not from someone who started after me. I come home and have nightmares about the stuff I may have forgotten to do at work...It is the worst. Some days I feel like I am able to do it all at work and then there are others where I feel like a big fat failure. This week I feel like a big fate failure:( Just needed to vent a little...thanks..........

[snortzmom]

Me too. I am 7 months down and I feel like there is so much I don't know. Isn't that expected? I love my job, but I hate that my coworkers make me feel incompetent. I am just learning! I am beginning to worry that there isn't a "Second Year in Nursing" page! No, but seriously, my coworkers are affecting my self esteem.:pumpiron: Kirsten

[calhoun220]

I am coming up on my 6 month anniversary in a couple of weeks, and I am sooo overwhelmed too. I keep trying to convince myself that it is going to get better, but after this week, I am very skeptical. When I am feeling soo overwhelmed, I tell myself that I know more today than I did the first day I stepped on the floor. After each shift I also ask myself "What did I learn today or what skill did I improve today?" That seems to help me realize that I am improving even though I don't feel like it. However, I'm with you. I think we need a "Second year in nursing" page too. It is probably a good sign since one doesn't exist. Maybe it means we will make it after all!

[LTCRN4LIFE]

I used to take offense when I would hear the term directed at us older nurses "Don't eat your young"

I always loved orienting the new staff, teaching them, helping build their confidence and taking pride when they spread their wings and took off from LTC to go to the hospital and climbed the cooperate ladder.

Now as I get mid way through my career and I re-evaluate what I want to be doing for the next 20 years I am thinking of changing specialities and joining acute care and you all remind me of how I know I will feel. I will join you in dealing with some of these same feelings. The feelings you talk about will never completely go away. They are what make you you. You will develop experience in time and you will learn how to "deal" with these feelings. The "self pep talks" are helpful as are these poems. Post them to your mirror and remind yourself you are not alone, but you have the training to do what you are, what you want to do and you can be an exceptional nurse.

Being A Nurse

by Melodie Chenevert Being a nurse means. . . You will never be bored. You will always be frustrated. You will be surrounded by challenges. So much to do and so little time. You will carry immense responsibility and very little authority. You will step into people's lives and you will make a difference. Some will bless you. Some will curse you. You will see people at their worst-- and at their best. You will never cease to be amazed at people's capacity for love, courage, and endurance. You will experience resounding triumphs and devastating failures. You will cry a lot. You will laugh a lot. You will know what it is to be human and to be humane.

A Nurse's Prayer

by Teri Lynn Thompson

Let me dedicate my life today

To care of those who come my way.

Let me touch each one with healing hands

And the gentle art for which I stand.

And then tonight when the day is done,

Let me rest in peace if I've helped just one.

[Diary/Dairy, RN]

I remember that new grad feeling too - it does get better! Take some time - spend time with your families, friends.......It takes time to get it all down....:icon_hug:

[ltmja]

someone told me to keep a journal and look back at it every now and then. i might just start myself. is there really a new grad out there under a year experience that feels like they r not completly overwhelmed at times and like they are not doing enough. i think a good portion of us feel the same:)

[yellow finch, BSN, RN]

You know what? I remember my first year like it was yesterday... oddly enough, it was only 2 years ago. One of the biggest issues I had in adjusting was plain, simple adjusting to how other nurses function and interact with one another. Half the way to winning is learning to understand and adapt to your environment and merely surviving the shift and future shifts. This coming from a person who's former career was in the film industry. I thought that was tough!

Stay positive and firm on your grounds of your position. It sounds like you did the right thing overall. Just know that people are always looking for an out and that doesn't exclude nurses. As long as you have documented via charting on your conversations and interventions with docs and other staff and patients, you should be ultimately protected.

Hang in there. This is a career path for the strong. Few outsiders can understand our stress or know what we go through on a daily basis. Even doctors don't have any idea of our 12 hour day! Continue to post here in order to vent. If you can't lean on us, who can you turn to?

:tbsk: