Monday November 6th 2023

[Joe NightingMale, MSN, RN]

Dianah that's a good time saver

Tweety I was feeling kind of like that yesterday

Stars a financial counselor seems like a good idea

NJ22 I took my bike for a ride yesterday too

Ado I think a lot of people were caught off guard by the change in time

Yesterday was fairly busy.   Got up at my usual time and did an online CEU before church.  Assisted at church and stayed for coffee hour.  Spoke to the music director, she's going to advise the choir not to continue to  pester me about rejoining.  Thankfully they now have a new member.  Came home and made potato pancakes and rode my bike in the evening

Did have a fair amount of anxiety yesterday.  Realized that I have been backsliding a lot when it comes to anxiety.  Perhaps not quite as bad as it was 10 years ago, but I think I've lost a lot of the progress I had made.  So yesterday I began to really try and practice acceptance and mindfulness every day,  all the time

And it seems too have worked, since then I've been much calmer and more present, though a bit more tired and empty too.  I've long had a theory that people use both anxiety and anger as stimulants to distract themselves from feelings of sadness or emptiness, this might be proof  of that.  Will have to discuss this with the counselor this week

Nothing  unusual  going on today, or for the next few days.  Going to be a warmer day today,  in the upper 60s

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Good morning!

When I was coming off of alcohol and in therapy and the 12 step program I went through a very severe depression and anxiety.  Someone told me "depression is anger turned inward" and I did unearth a lot of anger.   Particularly at my bullies and to an extent my parents.  Today, I never lash out in anger and when I do it's directed at myself.  I'm pretty good at getting anger at others and situations off my chest relatively quickly.   I also am very slow to anger and can let things that anger others roll off my back.  But I'm constantly at war with myself.  

Today I woke up wide awake and decided it was time to get up.  I woke up at 5AM.  More psychobabble:  I woke up saying "I'm starting today at a point of disappointment".  It must have been something I was dreaming, or I was disappointed at my lack of gumption to accomplish things yesterday.  But it was my first thought of the day.  Some people jump out of bed with gratitude and I did with disappointment.  LOL. I wrote it down in my very inactive journal.  I listened to a lesson on InsightTimer that asked me "what is the next best thing and what if you let go?"  I wrote that down too.

I putzed around and cooked the side dishes I'd planned on making yesterday from things I bought at the Asian store the day prior.  I have a load of laundry going and I took a nap.  

Ado, I think "Friendsgiving" is an idea that you kids generation, the millenials and Gen Z, came up with.  I love the idea although I don't get any invitations.  

Stars, hope the stew came out okay.  

I wonder who showed up for work an hour early yesterday.  There's always one.  

Hope everyone has a good day.  

 

 

[No Stars In My Eyes]

Good Afternoon, from me and the arthritis in my R-hands' fingers~

I have emptied out the spice shelf in Nannie's kitchen; I threw stuff away that had 'best use by' dates between 1999, 2004, and 2012! Unidentified stuff in jars, hundreds of old-old-old teabags, and God only knows what else, but it all filled one entire '30' size kitchen trash bag. Those shelves almost echo now!

I also vacuumed the den, and I am pleased and proud to say that Momo wasn't freaked out in the least by the noise or the activity. That's a relief to me because there is still more vacuuming needed. Just don't know what DAY it will get done!

The beef stew was okay, we both ate it and didn't get sick. ? Not sure about what's doing supper-wise, but there are a lot of things from which to choose.

I spent several hours on line and on the phone trying to get in touch with the IRS. Several times it SEEMED I got lucky: one guy who did answer had to transfer me to another dept, and then.....they SAID the wait time was 30-60 minutes, but as usual, if you've been fool enough to believe that, they disconnect you after 30 minutes. I tried 7 different phone #'s from various IRS listings on line. Filled out several different forms on line but had to then erase everything I entered because there was no way for me to print it, sign it, or send it. Nobody at the IRS is the least interested in talking to me at all. If I walk in to SSA and get in line, I still won't have the needed documentation. The only past transcripts you can get, only go back to 2020. Doesn't help me a darn bit. And it is too late (and a ridiculous thought) for me to go out to the shed and TRY to rummage around. I'd have to climb over boxes and I'm willing to bet that what I am searching for is a box under 6 other boxes. Guess I will have to get a financial advisor or a lawyer to get this accomplished, because I can't do anything about SSA unless the IRS suddenly becomes interested in actually remembering that it needs to be doing its job, and that's not likely.

So, anyway, that's the Gripe Of The Day.

 

[Ado Annie, ASN, RN]

Joe, that's an interesting insight into how we use anxiety and anger to distract from other uncomfortable feelings. 

Feeling tonight as if I might be coming down with a cold. It's been creeping up on me -- sneezes here, scratchy throat there, now a bit of a runny nose. Why is it that every time I travel, it's *something*?

 

[nursej22, MSN, RN]

Good evening. We had lunch with dd today. The local election is tomorrow, and she is a little nervous about if she will retain her school board seat. She doesn't like campaigning, so didn't really do any. And her bio in the Voters Pamphlet had some typos. I think she'll be fine, but she's okay if her opponent wins because he's not a wackadoodle, just a little naive about what a school board does and does not do. 

We went to the Hallmark store to get this year's ornaments to add to our collection. One has been issued for 17 years, and the other for 25 or 26. We left the dogs shut in the bathroom, and the only whoops was a little urine that partially missed the pee pad. 

I've used coffee as an ingredient in non-conventional things. I had a cinnamon roll recipe that called for a tablespoon of strong coffee and maple flavoring in the icing, and it was delicious. I also have a brownie recipe that calls for instant expresso coffee, and it's pretty good too. Doesn't red-eye gravy have coffee in it? I like to add red wine to my spaghetti sauce. But I still haven't made any cookies. 

Speaking of anger, I am finally ridding myself of the intense anger I've had toward, of all things, medical providers. In speaking to my dd, I think I was traumatized by some painful procedures, and I seem to strike out when things don't go as expected. And they never seem to go as expected. But I need to have grace that others are doing the best they can. It really is disappointing though. 

Yeah, Annie, that's how I used to be, always coming down with something. I usually wear a mask on planes, and bring along sanitizer wipes and wipe down my seat arms and the tray table. That seems to help.