Mom Wants to go to Nursing School

[NOLAMOM]

Hello there!

I am hoping to get some good feedback and real life stories from some nursing moms as I try to make the big decision to go back to school to become a nurse.

I am a 33 year old working mom with two small children (a 1 year old and a 4 year old). I am currently an accountant at a large company where I have a pretty good schedule and rarely have to over-time, however I am not happy and don't feel fulfilled in my current job.

As a result I have been thinking hard about going back to school to do something that I would actually enjoy or find some fulfillment in. I wish I could go back in time to when I was 20 years old and say "don't go to business school; you should do something you are passionate about!" (I had originally always wanted to be a pediatrician or a teacher, but decided to be "practical" and go into accounting & finance). Since I don't have a time machine, I am currently looking into the process of getting my BSN and becoming a nurse (I would love L&D or something in pediatrics). I love the idea of helping people and making a difference.

My questions/concerns arise because I am concerned about the amount of time I would be able to spend with my boys both as a nursing student and as a nurse. Currently I work 40 hours a week and my boys are taken care of by a nanny (and the older one goes part time to preschool) - I wish I could spend more time with them as it is and am worried that if I enter nursing school and enter the workforce that I would see less of them and put a burden on my husband (who already has a very stressful, demanding job that requires a lot of overtime).

I would need to take some pre-requisites in order to apply, but I can do those online through our local community college and I can continue to work while getting those. However, I plan to quit working if I get accepted into the BSN program (probably about 1.5-2 years from now) and focus on school full time (and work during the summer to cover tuition costs). I've looked up the current schedules and the course load doesn't look too bad, and I would plan to be in school mode (either in class or studying) from 8am-4pm M-F. Is that realistic? I received a Bachelors and Masters degree from a Top 50 University, so at one point I was academically inclined, but it has been 10 years since i graduated...Also, what on earth are schedules like for practical/clinical work during the last two years of school? Are those 12-hour shifts? How much say do you get in when those are scheduled?

And then once I start work as a nurse, since I will be a newbie, how hard is it to get a schedule that I have a choice over (or will I be stuck with the "worst shifts" because of seniority)? Are there vacation and holidays for nurses?

I apologize for such a long post, but I wanted to give you as much background as I could so that I get some helpful comments/stories/etc. to help me make my decision (and convince my husband!)

Thanks in advance!

[llg, PhD, RN]

It sounds to me as if you are doing some good-quality thinking about this, asking good questions. It also sounds to me as if your plan is do-able. However, you may be very unhappy once you actually get into it.

1. Depending on what school you go to, your clinical hours might not be to your liking. Yes, they might be 12-hour shifts ... and yes, you will probably have little control over when and where you do your clinical rotations.

2. Once you graduate, you will be the low person on the totem pole for a while -- and might not get the type of job you want right away. Even if you do get a job in L&D or peds, you will probably have to work 12-hour shifts that include nights, weekends, and holidays. How will you and your family feel when you are working on Christmas, or your kid's birthday, etc.? Yes, nurses get vacations and holidays, but you have to plan those well in advance and take your turn when it comes to putting in requests for time off. You will work some holidays, not holidays ... be limited to a certain days off in the summer or over the Christmas holidays. You might or might not get to take vacation the same week your kids have off from school (as those days are the ones most mom's want off, giving you lots of competition for getting those days off), etc. etc. etc.

So ... in summary ... I think you COULD become a nurse with your plan ... but I am not sure you will be happy once you get there.

Why not use your business skills to work for a non-profit organization? Hospitals, nursing homes, home health agencies, etc. need accounting services, too? Why not save the cost of your tuition and instead, sacrifice a little of your current salary to work for a non-profit? Or get a BS in Healthcare Administration and work for a employer that does work that will make you feel good. (Children's hospital, women's center, etc.) You could even volunteer once or twice a week. Use the volunteering as an outlet for your desire to help people -- and use your job to get money. Don't throw away your previous career for a nursing career you might hate. Build on your current career and skills to provide business expertise that do work that will make you feel good without spending a fortune on nursing school -- and years or stress/aggravation as a nursing student and as a beginner-level nurse with no seniority.

[ThatBigGuy]

You will see less of your family for the next half decade.

Nursing school is difficult and time consuming, considering you'll have classroom lectures, labs, and clinicals. You are not likely to get a fantastic work schedule as a new nurse either. Working 12 hour shifts poses a whole new set of possible problems to negotiate.

Eventually, in 2022, you'll have figured out how to live as a family again with your new career. You'll probably be required to work certain numbers of weekends and holidays. It hits hard when your 3 year old cries as you leave for your Christmas day shift. That's the bad part, and that's not as bad as it can be.

And what if you don't like nursing after all of this? Don't forget, you have no finaid left, so you will be spending large amounts of cash or taking on more student loans that you will be paying on until you are 55 years old.

The good part is eventually you might be working 3 days a week and can have the other 4 days off to spend all day with your family. The parks, pools, museums, and restaurants are much less busy in the middle of the week. If you work for a place with self scheduling, you can schedule 8 days off in a row by working the first part of one week, and the last part of the next week.

The question you have to ask is can you sacrifice 5 years of growth and development of your children, and distance from your husband, in order to have a chance at a better life later. There's no guarantee you and your family will enjoy the new life, or that you will be fulfilled in nursing.

You have a brutally tough decision ahead of you, one that will require many hours of discussion with your husband. I do not envy your position.

[soapfloats]

I'm just a stranger on the internet, but it sounds to me like you have what a lot of people want. If I were you (again, I'm a stranger) I would volunteer to get that feeling of helping others. You don't have to change careers to be a useful citizen.

I would also recommend looking through the forums here for stories. Many nurses find that the job is demanding and largely thankless.

[JD2RN]

I'm not a nurse, but I am going through a similar decision, as I was a lawyer in a past life (and have 2 young children). I agree with the others that you should try volunteering first, or seeing if there is any way to find satisfaction in your current profession. I loathe being a lawyer, and have zero desire to do it anymore. So, at almost 43, I'm finishing up prerequisites and applying to nursing school in the fall. But, I'm doing it as cheaply as possible (versus jumping into a pricey direct entry MSN program) in case I decide to back out. Good luck with your decision!

[kkbb, MSN, RN]

My kids were 8 and 2 when I started nursing school. Nursing school (as a general statement) became increasingly difficult and time consuming throughout the program. There were weeks I felt like I had not been home in years. My clinicals were 12 hour shifts for some rotations and 8 hours for others. The last 3 years have been some of the hardest, due to loss of my income, time away from family, and even when I was home I was studying. My husband and I both were pushed to our limits and wondered if we would remain married. I am not trying to frighten you...I just want to be honest about what I experienced. There are amazing parts too: my 10 year old said he was so proud of me when I graduated, and I made some really amazing friends.

My first job will be working nights. We, as a family, have discussed how this will impact us. The truth is, there is still much change in store for us and we will have to adjust as a family. We also discussed what will happen if I have to miss holidays. We figured that we could write a letter to santa (for example) if I have to work on Christmas and see if he will visit us other night.

If you are thinking about changing your family's life (because this impacts everyone), then shadow a nurse first and determine if this really is what you want. Then make sure you have reliable sitters and at least one back-up sitter. You and your family will have to work together to make family a priority. It can be done. Good luck on your journey.

[Ilikeletters]

I am a CPA, stopped working when I had my first child, though. I went back to nursing school at 39, when my children were 2,5,8. Because of them, I did ADN. All our classes were on Wed, and I tried to do my clinicals on Thursday so I could go straight from school to do my preclinical work. That meant only two days away from them. I'd say I did most of my work after they went to bed. Occasionally for a big test or something I would study while they were around but not often. I volunteered in school for the older two every week and was room mom for both. The older two were in a combined 5 sports and I never missed a game. So school was definitely doable. Because of my family, I'm limited where I can work and my hospital is requiring a BSN. It's all online and taking 8 months start to finish and I don't miss anything with them at all because it's all online. When I start working, my training will be 3 months on days and then I will be on nights. I think the majority of floor nursing you will find this, though there are some new grads that start on days - my friend started med-surg on days. Depends on the department and seniority. Based on the makeup of my department, I'm planning on about 3 years of night shift. We do self-schedule, but holidays are assigned on a rotating basis each year. At our hospital, our unit is the only one that does it that way, the others self-schedule 1 major, 2 minors. I won't say that it was all easy, but it wasn't bad, either. Most people were shocked to find out I was in nursing school because I was so present at everything. However, for me, while nursing is a passion, my family was my priority and I always kept that as priority. I graduated nursing school with a 3.7 and almost done with BSN with 4.0, so I didn't stumble through, etiher.

[MyAimIsTrue, BSN]

I'm a mom who just finished the first year of nursing school and time-wise, it's been much harder than I expected. We have to be on campus 3-4 days/week, then clinicals another 2 days. We have very little control of our hours--our shifts can be 3-9pm or 6am-1pm and the hospital we're assigned to could be 45 minutes or an hour away. When I graduate I am not expecting a perfect schedule either. I expect it will be nights and/or weekends and I'm okay with that.

I'm not trying to dissuade you, because so far I am very happy with my decision, but you are right to be thinking hard about the impact to your family. My kids are a lot older than yours, but I do think my youngest (age 8) is a bit neglected. I just hope at the end of it all, they are proud of me and inspired also.