mistaken impression

PurrRN · Mar 23, 2008

I have been asked by my class to give the closing speech at pinning this May. This is nothing post-worthy except that I found out through the "grape vine" that one of the reasons that some people nominated/voted for me was because they think that I am an eloquent speaker, a good representative of the person who had to work a little bit harder in class and, oh yeah, because I'm gay and don't let it bother me. Now here is where it gets sticky...I'm not gay
So how do I approach this? Do I say thank you and do it for the other reasons or do I stand up and scream from the mountain tops "I'm not gay!". Also, this would be an awkward conversation even if I was to say to the person who thought that I was "ummm so yeah, by the way, not quite sure how to tell you this but...".
I feel like if I protest too loudly, people will just think that I'm closeted and "protesting too much" if you get my drift, and frankly, I don't care if my classmates think I'm gay or not.
Sorry if this is a little long, but any input would help.

There have been many times over the years that people have tried to make assuptions about me that were not true. I can be hurtful to be labeled something you are not, but I think that some people have to do that for their own peace of mind.

You say that you don't care if they think you are gay or not......so, I would just go with the compliment that they asked you to speak because they think you are an eloquent speaker and leave it at that.

If it does bother you that someone said that about you, you can pull them aside and just set the record straight. My point of view comes from this: my friends KNOW who I am and what I stand for; people who you have to associate with on a superficial level don't count as friends, and can think anything they like about me because they don't affect my way of dealing with life.

My story: Three years ago I got frustrated with my hair. On a particularly frustrating day I grabbed my husbands clippers and shaved my head!!

I began taking a class required for NS and got the cold shoulder from all the girls and really weird looks from just about everyone. I knew what the perception of me was, BUT what they didn't know (because they didn't ask) was that I'd been married for 6 years and was the mother of three small boys. Fastforward to the second semester of NS (after alot of people got to know me) and nearly everone made comments about how they had thought I was a lesbian.

My point is that I never tried to correct anyones impression of me at the time, because they didn't count (in my eyes). Only those people who were able to look beyond their obvious preconceptions were priviledged to know the truth about the "real" me.

In the end you have to determine how much it bothers you that peripheral people in your life think something about you that isn't true. If it really really bothers you.......address it. If you can live with it, let it go.

Good luck and congradulations at being asked to speak for your class. It is indeed an honor.

Angela

elkpark · Mar 23, 2008

I agree -- it doesn't really matter why they elected you, just that they did.

Good luck with your speech! :)

mcknis · Mar 24, 2008

Not to sound "broken-recorded" (I know not a real word, but ya get my drift), but these other posters are right. Just accept that you were elected, and leave it as such. As a straight man in my program, I have received wierd looks from other students (in the beginning of the program) mainly because I flirt with everyone, and mean nothing by it, but after they got to know me, they realized that I was 100% not gay. If it is just one or two people, approach them (whether student or instructor). Good luck and congrats on being chosen to be the class speaker!