mistake and needing to vent

[centexnurse313]

recently had a patient come in to surgery and we had to do an RSI. I'm completely comfortable with assisting in cricoid pressure. this time the crna began moving his/her hands and fingers in between and around mine to where i couldnt keep steady. i raised up for a second (mistake!) and staff sternly told me DONT lift up always press down no matter what the crna is doing. well the patient ended up aspirating. only added to this was that staff told the room (not me specifically) to get the bronch. so i paged overhead and went about positioning. staff then condescendingly say, what i mean was get the bronch now before you do anything else.

sometimes i just hate the people i work with.

anyway. it just feels like another notch in my post that is my career. i've been here for over two years and have had a few experiences. one other major being a wrong lap count. surveillance xray was taken and the radiologist on call cleared it.. for it only to be found the next day in another scan this happened over a year ago, but now thinking a patient aspirated because i wasnt good enough is getting to me. i already have a hard time with depression and anxiety and now this is just making me doubt myself.

i just needed to vent anonymously. i hate making mistakes and it really gets to me and makes me feel like a moron.

[brownbook]

Yeah, you and about 20 thousand other nurses. Join the club. Yes you made mistakes but there were other people involved. It is rarely just one nurses fault when a mistake is made. You ended up with the main part of the "blame" but many small and large steps lead up to the error.

Patients aspirate, it is not one nurses fault. You could have been holding perfect cricoid pressure the whole time and the patient could have still aspirated. How do you think the radiologist feels who missed the lap while on x-ray. He is probably one of those egotistical people who would never admit he missed it, made a mistake.

I could list many medical/nursing mistakes that brilliant, careing, health care providers made. Ones where patients died due to the mistake!

You are going to be extra diligent, from now on you will hold excellent cricoid pressure, and be extra vigilant doing lap counts.

I admire people who admit they made a mistake and feel badly about it. You are a hero for me to emulate and to think about whe I make a mistake! Unfortunately it will happen.

PS. I just now Googled cricoid pressure. There is a lot of debate whether or not it even works! Some countries in Europe never use it!

[WhoDatWhoDare, BSN, RN]

I agree 110% with way brownbook says, and my experience with knowledgeable anesthesiologists mimics what brownbook found.