Might be my last school year

[wishfulbiscuits]

I've been in school nursing for the last 3 years (worked in hospital for 2 years prior). I started in the middle of the pandemic so I didn't really know what "normal" school nursing was until maybe a year and a half in. 

This year has been the busiest year ever. I'm so tired tired of chasing alllll this paperwork and annoying parents because they can't seem to remember the 15 hundred letters or phone calls I've made to them. They want us to get a lot of our screenings done earlier this year too because we're at liberty of everyone else's schedule. Sometimes I have to cover other schools because we can't hire enough people. I feel our department is going to fall apart within the next couple years honestly. Retention has not been good since I started.

I had an anxiety attack at work last week. I could feel my heart racing. I haven't been able to eat very much since. I can't seem to concentrate on whatever I'm doing. I've struggled with anxiety/depression off and on since starting my nursing journey. I feel fizzled up by the end of the day and just don't have a lot of energy left for my own children at the end of the day. 

I feel like I backed myself into a corner with this job. Hours are great for my kids (one in school, one in daycare). Coworkers are nice. Pay is okay but not the best. I mostly worked part time to preserve some of my sanity before taking on this fulltime position. I started the process of finding a therapist through the EAP offered to us. I've tried meds before, but hated the side effects. The only thing that calms my anxiety is the thought of leaving this job at the end of the year. I just want a break from nursing, period. I enjoy caring for people, but the amount paperwork and other bureaucratic nonsense makes me lose my mind. 

Thank you for reading. I've had a lot on my mind. I broke down to my husband in tears about this and have been uneasy since. 

[Cattz, ADN]

This is a safe place to vent and to know that we feel your pain and anxieties.

Do what you need  to take care of yourself and your precious family. No job is worth your health and well being. 

At the end of the day- go home and know you did the very best that you can.

Give yourself a big hug from me and the rest of our School Nurse Crew here.

a

[BunnyBunnyBSNRN, ASN, BSN]

In April of 2022, I had to walk away.  I went to my doctor and asked for FMLA paperwork to be signed.  I had some life events that that chipped away at me, and I finally couldn't do it anymore.  At the time, I didn't think I would ever come back to this - I didn't even want to nurse anymore.  

There is absolutely NO shame in taking care of yourself.  No job is worth any part of your peace.  Unless it is the difference between putting food on the table or keeping the lights on, just walk away.  

[RatherBHiking, BSN, RN]

You've done this job long enough to know whether it's for you or not. If you're this miserable it's time to get out. I remember coming home at the end of the day exhausted and irritable. I lived for my days off. Some other school nurses would talk excitedly about some little thing they were doing in their schools like a wellness day or incentives for getting caught doing something healthy etc and I was like I don't have the excitement, motivation or bandwidth to do that. I just want to make it through the day in one piece dreading every phone call or parent interaction hoping I could go a day without getting yelled at or talked down to. I was so burnt out. So I left after devoting a couple decades to school nursing.

I went back to acute care working 3 12's. I'm less tired doing that than 5 8's in the school. I don't really wish for long breaks anymore because I only work 3 days a week. I can go see my few patients- I no longer have 40 people coming in to see me every day. If a patient is nauseated instead of saltines I can give them nausea med. I don't have to deal with the same patients and their families daily for YEARS until they graduate.  I get to use lots of my nursing skills. I get to work with other nurses again! The time flies by. I make almost twice as much as I did so if I get standby I don't stress.

You know the downsides to the hospital (weekends, holidays, call ins, micromanaging, vacation requests etc). However you are off in the middle of the week and can go on field trips with your kids or help out in their school occasionally, save on daycare or go to the store when it isn't as busy etc. You could try to find something PRN or part time. Or you could find something outpatient with more normal hours and weekends off. If I were you, I'd figure out what schedule and type of job would fit you the best and start looking. Life is too short to be that miserable!