Mental Health Humor

Nurses Humor

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I'm counting on you guys! I need some cute, fun stuff such as lists, cartoons concerning mental health humor and even better- NURSING mental health humor. I teach clinicals in an ADN program and I would like to get together some little humorous handouts to give to the nursing students each week. (Decrease stress and anxiety and all that) PLEASE HELP ME GET MORE! I need about 10 weeks worth of stuff. Oh, if it is nursing student mental health humor- that would be THE BEST! Here is what I already have. I am looking for more of the same. I'm not really looking for jokes, but would like Top 10 kind of stuff. Picky, picky, picky (must be why I am a nurse educator)!!

Christmas is for everyone....

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:

Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

DEMENTIA:

I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

DEPRESSION:

Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.

MANIC:

Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:

We Three Queens Disoriented Are

NARCISSISTIC:

Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,............(better start again)

PARANOID:

Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:

On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

PERSONALITY DISORDER:

You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.

SCHIZOPHRENIA:

Do you Hear What I Hear?

Top ten signs you are approaching burn-out,

For psychologists and mental health workers.

10) You think of the peaceful park you like as "your private therapeutic milieu."

9) You realize that your floridly psychotic patient, who is picking invisible flowers out of mid air, is probably having more fun in life than you are.

8) A grateful client, who thinks you walk on water, brings you a small gift and you end up having to debrief your feelings of unworthiness with a colleague.

7) You are watching a re-run of the "Wizard of Oz" and you start to categorize the types of delusions that Dorothy had.

6) Your best friend comes to you with severe relationship troubles, and you start trying to remember which cognitive behavioral technique has the most empirical validly for treating this problem.

5) You realize you actually have no friends, they have all become just one big case load.

4) A co-worker asks how you are doing and you reply that you are a bit "internally preoccupied" and "not able to interact with peers" today.

3) Your spouse asks you to set the table and you tell them that it would be "countertherapeutic to your current goals" to do that.

2) You tell your teenage daughter she is not going to start dating boys because she is "in denial", "lacks insight." and her "emotions are not congruent with her chronological age."

And, the number one reason you may be burning out....

1) You are packing for a trip to a large family holiday reunion and you take the DSM-IV with you "just in case."

Mental Health Hotline!

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are Delusional, press 7, your call will be transfered to the Mothership. If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are Manic Depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the Pound Button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, please try you call again later. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

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I love this! One really needs humour to be a nurse....

Suebird :p

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Specializes in Extern so far....

hahaha this IS GOOD!!!... I start mental health next semester... well, all depends on passing everything this semester...

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try www.nursetoons.com for great hilarious nurusing cartoons!!!

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Sounds like you're off to a great start! I had seen this hotline one back when I was working for a crisis hotline and when I saw your post, I was going to try and find it for you, but you already have it.

You might also check out www.nursinghumor.com/psych .

Good luck!

Mental Health Hotline!

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are Delusional, press 7, your call will be transfered to the Mothership. If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are Manic Depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the Pound Button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, please try you call again later. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

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