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chaka_1709 2,950 Views

Joined: Apr 18, '11; Posts: 30 (27% Liked) ; Likes: 26
student; from US

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  • Apr 24 '13

    Quote from hodgieRN
    Just had a pt (and her sister) who were astonished that I was assigned to the room. She middle aged. Not an OB or anything. She wasn't a little old lady and there were not cultural differences. It was more her sister (who was not medically inclined and constantly asked me questions that made no sense...she was citing articles on google and would ask me a question, wait for reply, and then would say she read something different. They said "I can't believe a male was put here. We only want female nurses." I said that we are capable of getting a female for bedpans and I wouldn't do any bed baths. Females nurses were walking by and they said "We want you, not him." The manager talked to them and they didn't have any problems with my competence. They actually liked how I cared for the pt and how I answered general questions. Then it came out...."Women are just more caring than men. Men don't really nurture."
    LOL.. Nurture! LOL!! Lady I'm not hear to Nurture.

    Only time I can remember a female not wanting me to "nurture" them was as a student in OB.

    That said, I fully respect any genders reasons for wanting the same gender to care for them. Usually in the ED my "ladies" will ask for assistance with A hole males that think any and all females want to lay with them.

    The Nurture thing, man thats funny. Caring, I've been told I have been more caring than female coworkers. Must be my charming personality!

  • Apr 24 '13

    I feel bad for the patient and family for having that bias - to generalize that all female nurses are more caring than all male nurses. How sad to have such a limited worldview. As the nurse caring for that patient, I would try to educate them if they were making those sort of comments in my presence.
    On the other hand, I feel if a patient requests a female care giver and it is feasible, it is the resposibility of the hospital to meet that request. But does this patient request only female doctors care for her? I doubt it.
    My husband is an x-ray tech and he has been told that there are some hospitals that have only female techs do certain procedures - whether the patient is female or male. I think that's ridiculous. As a female myself, I generally prefer female PCP's and OB's and will choose a female myself ahead of time if possible. But if I were in a hospital I wouldn't prejudge a doctor, nurse, or other person ahead of time - I have met great male doctors, and worked with some very mediocre female nurses over the years. I think you have to wait to have a conversation with someone before evaluating their ability to care for you. If I needed something like a bed bath I'd want a female, other than that gender is a nonfactor.

  • Apr 24 '13

    I'm not going to put up a fight to keep a patient who assumes that any female Nurse will be more "nurturing" than I. Although you could argue she's right because I'm secretly going to hope that she gets one of our many female Nurses for whom the term "nurturing" is far from one of the terms you'd use to describe them.

    And I'm still trying to figure out if the "no atheists" thing was a joke.

  • Apr 24 '13

    A couple months ago there was an article about a father of a newborn didn't want to have african american nurses take care of his baby and the hospital placed a note on the chart that only white nurses were allowed to care for the baby. So an african american nurse sued the hospital. Here is the article: Nurse sues after hospital grants dad's racial request Wouldn't it be the same situation here. The male nurse is being discriminated against and the manager is allowing only female nurses to care for the woman. Should he sue the hospital for discrimination? or is it because it is a gender issue and not a race issue?

  • Apr 24 '13

    I think it's annoying. I'm a female nurse, and yeah, I get the whole, "We prefer females/males because of modesty/sorry-i-feel-weird-you-touching-my-junk," but the latter? I'd be happy I don't have to take care of them, but it would still rub me the wrong way. Females are more caring that males? What is that suppose to mean? I know some terrible female ICU nurses who say they're busy taking care of their pt who requires total care, but who sit at the computer planning their next trip.

  • Apr 24 '13

    My two cents:

    Comments like that from patients/family members are an immediate indication that there are priorities OTHER THAN the medical well-being of the patient, and that will probably be a challenge, to say the least.

    When patients currently dealing with a medical crisis throw around the "caring" card ... again, that tells me that there are psychological issues in play, as it tends to mean that the patient has very specific, often codependent, wants/needs.

    An alert ICU patient is pretty much by definition not very sick in ICU terms ... and so probably not the favored assignment of the day.

    I might not have been able to suppress an eye-roll or a big sigh, either.

  • Apr 24 '13

    I think patients have the right to request whomever they wish.....I take no offense and have been relieved when asked to take care of someone else if a family is being difficult.

    My personal religious/political beliefs/opinions have no business in my professional life.

    I have requested to NOT are for a patient ONCE in my 34 year career...and it was for VERY PERSONAL reasons. My co-workers were very understanding and supportive.

  • Apr 24 '13

    Any pt who refuses a nurse based on race/religion/sexual orientation/gender/whatever is a pt I'd only be too happy to pass off.

  • Apr 24 '13
  • Apr 24 '13

    (since this in the critical care board I will start off by saying I a female med surg nurse). We get pts like this occasionaly and it can be annoying to already have my assignment then have a switch sprung on me because of a pt's sterotypes or preferences. Or the ones who will keep the male nurse but there are only male aides too so I have to get pt on and off bedpan. Especially if it is someone who needs it frequently. well i have my own pts! have had many shifts with a couple of pts like this. I don't know ....... I am in my 20s , american and an athiest (so nothing cultural (i guess?) or religious) and if I needed to be straight cathed , bed pan, or even for ob/gyn drs I prefer women and for mds will seek them out esp since appointments are planned in advance. Some of the pt who want only a female nurse do not need anything like this ...Are they really that uncomfortable with a man giving their lopressor?... yet a male dr is ok....... There are plenty of men who are a lot more caring then I am . I can fake it pretty well, though! lol

  • Apr 24 '13

    Personally, I would not be offended by the request of a female nurse.

    What WOULD offend me is the comment about women being "more caring" than men.

    The eye rolling and stuff probably came from the ridiculously biased comment and the fact that the patient and family sound like kind of a pain anyway.

  • Sep 15 '12

    At the onset, when administrative bureaucracy came up with the requirement to document :

    Q 15' checks for ANYTHING

    Q 2 hour checks for restrained patients... checking the restraint site, checking the toileting needs, checking the need for continued restraints, checking the vital signs...

    We unanimously agreed...

    They are MAKING us lie! The very act of initialing all of their precious little boxes .. makes it too time consuming to perform the tasks!
    This is not just LTC... it is everywhere.
    Any one that doesn't see that .. has their head buried in the sand.
    Kudos to you for having the guts to bring this issue into the real world.

  • Sep 15 '12

    I've witnessed situations were the majority of the staff were either falsifying the records or clocking out (and kept working) in order to complete their duties. When an individual would come along who refused to falsify records or work "off the clock" they ultimately ended up being the one disciplined (or worse), because, you know, "If everyone else can get the job done..."

    When the majority of a group resorts to falsification of records or working for free (illegally) isn't that a sign of a major system error? I'm curious, has anyone been in a situation where the lot banded together and refused to change/alter documentation times and then discussed the issues with management as a unified group? If so, what was the outcome?

  • Sep 15 '12

    OMG palmsofvictory, you are sooo right on!!! The one who goes on up the ladder is the one I see getting walked out time and time again! This is the real world and if you make waves, there are 20 rns ready to take you place is what I've been told.

    I do have a question to those that don't get those meds in within your window and just give it and chart that it was given's a PO located in the chart that states times to give. If you give late without getting a PO to do so, isn't that illegal? For me, I have to call the physician, state the reason, and get a give now one time order. Which is exactly why, unless it's very outside the window I've seen most nurses chart given within that window. How can you wait until management calls you in to explain and be honest when giving it outside the window is illegal? Legally, you should be calling the doc and getting the order to read something about okay to give between such and such time X45 days (ltc)

    If that happens a lot and your management gets wind of it from you especially, they will ask you what your problem is so be prepared.

  • Sep 15 '12

    I was a veteran for 9 years, teacher for 5 in my previous career. In my experience, a single individual who tries to change systemic problems (to me it sounds like the OP is in that situation) almost NEVER is able to do so through official channels. Official channels are usually a farce and only function practically as overwhelming, endless red tape and deterrents for actual change and/or make shining a light on problems = professional/career suicide. Official channels simply alert leadership to employees who are "dangerous" to the status quo... "thanks for letting us know to put a target on YOUR back, you idiot". I've been in meeting with Generals and Colonels before. You might be shocked at the real reasons they are making the decision they do.

    Real change for the better requires either 1) a large group of people willing to speak the truth and demand change or 2) an individual who has some kind of connection or special leverage.

    Every time i hear someone say "Have you used official channels of change?", all i can think is: Clueless/naive person.

    There are so many examples of this:
    1. Insurance companies of all stripes usually have a policy to deny 1st (and maybe more) claim attempts outright because it is mathematically-proven to be good for business. Bottom line: $.
    2. When you see suspensions/punishments handed out in various situations, often the appeal process goes to the exact same decision maker eventually (usually after several steps required to follow an algorithm of pseudo-justice... meaningless paperwork, hours of time, etc.) Bottom line: justice isn't really justice.
    3. GroupOne (Google it and read). Bottom line: yikes!
    4. I've known a teacher that won Teacher of the Year one year and was not asked to return the very next year. (Multiple reasons possibly exist). Bottom line: jealousy, liability
    4. Endless other examples (Racism, especially pre-1960s being only one. What do you think would happen to someone who vocally challenged Hitler??? Sometimes breaking rules means you are closer to the true spirit of the matter... think Germans who hid Jews and lied to the Nazis when asked. Watch Schindler's List.) Bottom line: read some history, please

    Corruption exists. Finding a fair work environment is RARE! Just talk with teachers, police officers, nurses, Dr.'s, lawyers, et. al. I have no problem with people LOVING it when they find it, but judging other people who have a corrupt work environment is just small-minded and cruel. Many times you don't know how messed up your company is until you are already heavily invested in it. At that point, jumping ship is a complex task. Besides, sometimes it is a more complex dx than "this place is evil." Could be one or 2 individuals within a decent org. Could be a multitude of things. (If you disagree, tell me why so many perfectly sane, decent women simply do not leave abusive relationships? That situation isn't "2+2" to the individual involved... it's "1. Explain the universe. 2. Define evil and explain why it exists."

    I had a Master Sergeant friend in the military who told me he achieved more change and did more good things in his career by knowing "dirt" on his bosses than he EVER did by using official channels. He TRIED to use official channels in the beginning of his career and was repeatedly told and SHOWN (read:abused by those with greater power) that, since he had no power as a lower ranking person in his org., being vocal would only make his situation worse. But seeing his boss, the Chief Master Sergeant, at the club with a female who was not his wife... well, let's just say a wise man once said, "Be as harmless as doves and as WISE as SERPENTS." Sometimes the "system" is nothing but a bully. And bullies usually respond to being punched in the face, not asked nicely.

    For those of you unwilling to admit/recognize that, for some people, consistently documenting the truth means GETTING fired, rather than AVOIDING getting fired. ... well... try, just try for a second and brainstorm if you can imagine how a person might find themselves in a situation where that is reality. Really think about it. If that doesn't work, keep on trying to Get. A. Clue. I have faith that sooner or later you will get it. Hopefully, i am not wrong.

    It is the hallmark of a tiny mind to not be able to understand that, sometimes, when the head is damaged (read:corrupt), the body is 100% paralyzed (read: screwed).

    Good day, folks.