creative scholar 3,982 Views
Joined: Aug 27, '09;
Posts: 19 (26% Liked)
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We are expected to be mothers, fathers, priests, sisters, brothers, asexual, nonjudgmental, councilors, Mother Theresa, non racial, non cultural, advisers, have excellent interpersonal skills, Oh and work 20 hour days with no breaks and are not expected to complain.
We have to be slim, non smokers, exercise daily, don't use drugs, sexually discreet, have no mental health issues, come to work when sick, never get a speeding ticket, don't cough, swear or do anything remotely human, and finally wear short-skirts and put up with the Doctors BS because we have no opinions. We have silly smiles, and are handmaidens at their beck and call.
I don't know about you but I am certainly not describing many nurses I know or have known with the description above.
Yet we are held and are accountable to behave as perfect human beings.
In fact you only have to watch the TV hospital dramas where Doctors council, sit in patients rooms and chat, give out drugs, make the beds and never make mistakes LOL - to know what the public think of us.
We are abused, used, bullied, discriminated against, made examples of, accused of all kinds inaccurate behavior, we are made to feel isolated and unsupported often by management who silence us by saying we must not discuss our conversation outside of the room.
How many times have you heard or read of nurses who are summoned to the office, accused by fellow co-workers of a behavior or action which they have to then defend. Even in a court you are innocent until proven guilty. In the healthcare profession we are 'Guilty even when proven innocent'.
The mentality is get to the office first because more than likely you are the one who is believed!
How many times have you been asked to go to the office and the first question out of our mouths is "Am I in trouble?" or "What did I do?"
We never assume that we are being called into the office to be told we are doing a good job!
Oh yeah and everybody within the hospital environment knows that you have been called into the office, and the gossip mongers are rife!
When you come out of the office, staff come out of the woodwork to check "Are you ok?" what they really want to know is "What did you do?" and "Are you in trouble?" Nobody ever asks did you get a promotion. LOL
We can be horrible, hard and uncompromising to our young nurses. Hence the frequent posts about 'Nurses eat their young"
Do we do this to wean out the weak? Almost like in the animal world where the sick and weak are abandoned and left to die?
Or do we do this because 'it happen to us' and we survived.
Frequently I have worked in a culture where the weaker staff are constantly criticized, not supported and educated. Some survive but a lot are lost by the wayside because they can't fight back and their co-workers look the other way in case they get caught up in the drama and are fired too!
I have never understood why we as nurses feed greedily into a negative culture, and when management point out that this negative culture will not be tolerated they accept no responsibility that they are the leaders and if there is a negative culture it has stemmed from their leadership.
I have seen some of the worse culprits who feed into the negative cultures be the same staff who 'suck up' to management and somehow manage to convince management that they are not part of the negativity which is lurking in the work place.
They moan, complain and disrespect management along with the rest of the gang but are often seen laughing and socializing with management, behaving as though they are the best of friends, which further undermines the weak or vulnerable.
Staff who struggle are easily identified, they tend to be the quiet ones, the ones who never finish their work, or are charting long after everybody else has left for the day/night, they are the ones the other shift moans and complains about. Highlighting to other staff, problems or issues they have seen when they take over their patients.
These staff members dont have refined interpersonal skills and can sometimes be unattractive for various reasons.
We also have the 'buddies' at work that wouldn't normally associate with each other but they have one thing in common they SMOKE.
It is amazing what is discussed when staff are outside smoking with each other, and it ain't how cheap fish is! Or what a wonderful day it was at work today.
Everybody is eager to listen to these moans and complaints, why?
Sometimes I think it is because if nobody is complaining about you then you must be doing a good job! So we dont want to rock the boat by disagreeing because then they will focus in on you!!!!
Unless you are 'liked' then other staff members dont try to help you, with education and advise of how to do it easier. If you are a likable person who is popular the support is immense.
We have come a long way in recent years, I have seen improvements with support networks and education but there are still a lot of work places where the potential is not supported.
awesome thread! i have been spending hours on the net trying to find this kind of information. alot of the residency programs i have found seem to be only for bsn's. i am hoping to find a nicu position and am willing to re-locate, although i would prefer to stay in the southern ky, northern tenn area.
Finding the way for others not to walk all over you while at the same time not offending anyone may be the way. As well, standing up for the patient no matter which nurses tell you to "keep em dumb"...(ugh, I really hate that). And not being at work to make friends....just to work. Work is hard work. I admire the nurses who manage never to throw their opinions in when others are dishing...they stay out of all the trouble. And yet, always stand up professionaly for the patients using your medical knowledge and gut feelings.
We have to be so sensitive to our patients' inuendos, vital signs, needs, feelings.....it IS difficult learning how to forgoe your own for that 12 hours. While we work, we are a tool of healing. All else we have to forget about! I struggle too!!! Blessings!!!
We have never had, and will never have, a TV in our bedroom. Best way to kill your sex life! No thanks, we don't want any distractions. And I sleep very well.
We have never had, and will never have, a TV in our bedroom. Best way to kill your sex life! No thanks, we don't want any distractions. And I sleep very well.
Hi LilyRose - I am by no means a negative person and I tend to find a silver lining in even the worst situations, but NYRH tested my "stick-to-it-tiveness" from day one. It seems like each shift I had to talk myself into NOT walking off the assignment. Why didn't I? Because I'm not that type of nurse, I'm a great documenter and I don't have a problem speaking up when I need to advocate for my patient or protecting my license (like when a resident told me to "just throw a bag of normal saline IV fluid into the microwave to warm it up" for an amnioinfusion). You asked.... here is my answer:
A little about New York Roosevelt Hospital. It is a community hospital (Level 3 Labor, Level 3 NICU). They do about 5000 deliveries a year. Patients come to the unit and are triaged (5 triage bays), then admitted to Labor and Delivery from there. They have separate Antepartum and Postpartum units, 3 L&D/ ORs, 13 labor rooms (LDRs). They use the QS system for OB charting, PRISM for their medication administration recording (and non-OB unit charting), and Pyxis to dispense the medication. The RN draws the blood for labs upon admission and do IV starts. LR is the main IV fluid used on the floor. They are a teaching hospital so they have residents (years 1-4; the 4th yr is the Chief; the pt's OB is the Attending. The Labor nurse catches the baby at delivery, takes a set of vitals for the baby then transfers the baby and pt post-partum within 2 hours of delivery. In the OR, the Labor nurse circulates, the Pediatrician from NICU assesses baby and then the Labor nurse resumes care of pt and baby until patient is transported to Recovery/PACU. Report is given to PACU nurse (only 1 PACU nurse is in the unit for 4 PACU beds) for patient and Labor RN transports baby to nursery then reassumes assignment on the labor unit.
The staff is NOT very supportive here, the Labor nurse ALWAYS catches the baby and tends to mom during a delivery (no charge nurse or baby nurse help provided here - MISS THAT!! ) . The work is simple enough but due to lack of teamwork, charge nurses that don't leave the RN station due to laziness, lack of supplies (ie: no baby blankets - we wrap the babies in folded adult blankets; 2 thermometers on the entire unit - that you can hardly find when needed; blood pressure monitors that don't always work - you pray your Pre-eclamptic or PIH pt gets the 'working' room; computers in rooms that don't work properly; 2-4 computers on the entire unit that allow for charting your administered meds - which are almost always being used by nurses or docs surfing the internet and playing videos from YouTube when you need to use them), Anesthesiologists that don't want to do their jobs - apparently, depending on the Anesthesiologist and the day, it is not the job of the Anesthesiologist to respond to a beeping epidural pump and OB residents who don't always know what they are doing, etc, the majority of the time the environment and your shift tends to be VERY stressed! So, this is NOT a hospital that I can recommend and after a conversation with a travel nurse friend on assignment at Mt. Sinai Hospital, this seems to be a trend amongst NYC hospitals, I will not be doing another assignment in NYC. I think that the non-teamwork, non-caring attitude stems from the fact that hospitals here in NYC are unionized and so the attitude 95% of the time is "That's NOT my job". Seems no one will work outside of their "role" much less DO their darn roles.
ANYHOO, It's over for me..... I came, I conquered (with prayer and lots of support from family and friends), and I skipped- to-my-loo while dancing a jig out the door Wednesday morning when my last shift ended!!
As she proudly walks across the stage at the nursing pinning ceremony, you can't help but reminisce about Lindsay, the twenty-two year-old who was assigned to your clinical group nearly two years ago. The fledgling nursing student was quiet, reserved, and somewhat frightened on the clinical floor, but always professional, prepared, and dependable. Now she is graduating with a baccalaureate degree in nursing and brimming with confidence.
You notice after the ceremony that Lindsay is surrounded by an enthused crowd of family and friends. As you walk up to congratulate her, she introduces you to her mother, father, brothers, and sisters. "This was my nursing instructor during my second semester of nursing school!" she remarks excitedly. You also get to meet her former high school English teacher, as well as Lindsay's fiancé.
As you look over Lindsay's entourage, you realize that each nursing student is an investment in love, sweat, tears, sacrifice, and hope by many others who are hidden behind the scenes. You marvel that it is not just Lindsay who is graduating but an extended group of people who have shared her dreams and struggles over the past two years, and who are walking across the stage "in spirit" with her.
Indeed, Lindsay's successful completion of nursing school was a costly sacrifice shared by all. The expensive resources necessary to send Lindsay to college were certainly not easy to come by for her hardworking middle-class parents as they scrimped and saved to pay her tuition. Her family, especially her younger brothers and sisters, missed her presence at home during the long months she was away at the state university. Her fiancé had given her moral support throughout the tortuous ordeal of nursing school, as Lindsay spent weeks away from him, as she studied fervently for examination after examination, worked incessantly on endless projects, and endured a grueling schedule of classes, clinicals, and labs.
Lindsay's case illustrates how important it is for nurse educators to always remember that a student is never "just a student." Each student represents a network of support and sacrifice by family and friends. Each student represents a compendium of precious dreams - not just the student's personal ambitions and goals in life - but dreams of accomplishments in life shared by mothers, fathers, extended family and friends - who are giving sacrificially to make fulfillment of those dreams possible.
It is important for nurse educators to realize that we hold in our hands a precious trust. We must never abuse that trust, but treat each student with honor, fairness, and respect. While it is unfortunate that some students are not cut out to be nurses, the vast majority will make safe, competent nurses with our guidance and encouragement.
We educators are guardians and facilitators of precious dreams - something never to be taken lightly.
Oh, it's not so bad.....of course I can say that NOW after two weeks of busting my butt to get caught up with three admissions, two change-of-condition assessments, ten days' worth of MD orders, delegation paperwork, and updates on the other 75 residents.
The hallmark of a good manager is that things run smoothly whether you are present or not. Is that real life? NO!!! Does the person who said it need a smack in the back of the head? YES!!!
I feel your pain, VLV! I know that when I return I will have 275 emails, my voice mail will be full, and my snailmailbox will be overflowing - AH.......job security.
I just received my results from Pearson Vue and I PASSED! Thanks Everyone for the encouragement! Now I can do the HAPPY DANCE!
Through networking with fellow classmates I landed a job at Kingston Hospital. Upstate NY. Its about 2hr drive from the city. I am so exited about the beginning of a new career development and the journey that it the nursing profession will lead me too.
Good luck to everyone who are still searching and keep your fate and spirits up!
I glance up from my medication cart just in time to see Mary coming down the hall with a frantic look on her face. Often, this kind of look from a resident means either...
A) They are in dire need of a bathroom NOW or
B) Something is going to cause me to have a long night of paperwork.
Mary is holding a framed picture of herself that appears to be a few decades old.
"Have you seen this person?" she innocently asks.
"I can't find her anywhere." ...
I stop what I am doing at my med cart, look up at her and see the confusion on her face. The look on her face tells me she is quite puzzled that she can not find the person in the picture anywhere.
The young woman in the picture is smiling, curly brown hair flowing down her back as she smiles back at the camera . The lady standing in front of me has white hair that was set at the "beauty parlor" and looks a lot like the young lady in the picture except for a few more wrinkles, and her smile has faded to a confused expression.
This is the real picture of a woman who is suffering from Alzheimers. She does not recognize herself any longer. Sometimes I think we all lose a little bit of ourselves through the years. We are always trying to "find our place in the world" ...searching for who we are, what we want to be and where we need to go in our lives. As quickly as we find out what makes us happy, that fleeting moment tends to escape us and we are back to square one.
I've come to the realization that I am never quite comfortable with "me" ... there is always something that I am hoping to change. I am just another face in the crowd. Looking back through old pictures, I have found that my life has changed. I can no longer look at myself and see the person staring back at me in the picture. I've changed, I've grown to be a much different person than I was as a child.
Maybe this is how Mary feels.
"Have you seen this person?" ... maybe she is just wondering where the time has gone. How fast life moves- and how far we come in wisdom.
"Yes, Mary... I have seen this person. She has aged gracefully and is loved by many." ... as Mary looks down at the picture, there is a tear that forms at the corner of her eye.
"I was a catch, wasn't I?" she says, as she places the picture frame in the basket of her walker. I smile, and know that the rest of my night at work has to go ok, because somehow, my heart has been touched by an angel.
A little tough love:
Who CARES what the other gals are doing/how they got there/what car they drive/what school they went to? It is always unwise to compare yourself to others from the get-go, especially in a new environment; however it is human nature to do so. I understand this mindset.
Now a little bit of plain old love:
It sounds like your self doubt stems from insecurity, which is important to recognize so that you can get it out of the way (and please OP, if I am overstepping my boundaries with that statement, call me on it. I am only guessing here). When I encounter self-doubt, my first task is trying to isolate the root cause of my feeling. Once I identify it, I can take steps to overcome it.
First, understand that EVERYONE is nervous when starting a new job. New environments, new people, new learning and the adaptation to all of these things is challenging, even for the most confident person. Change is transition, which can be nerve racking at times. We all are terrified of looking like idiots, and tend to hold ourselves under a microscope. You aren't alone in this regard.
Secondly, you have come to this point in your life from your OWN merits and your OWN willpower. You worked hard for everything you have-your Mom must be very proud of you! Honor both her and yourself by holding your head high with the realization that you fought for what you have, and no doubt have a strong sense of work ethic that will shine once you get comfortable on the unit.
Concentrate on learning right now. Focus your thoughts on your patients, use that sense of humor that you undoubtedly have (you can't be raised poor in a single parent household and work your way through school without developing a healthy sense of humor!) to break the ice with your new peers.
Above all, be yourself. Don't spend a lot of energy trying to relate to them, because as you get to know them, common ground will surface. It takes time.
Be confident! You got to where you are now because you have what it takes to succeed. The key is to BELIEVE THAT yourself. Everyone else seems to...they wouldn't have hired you if they didn't have confidence in your skills.
Wake up in the morning, get showered, get centered and remember to be proud of the person you have become.
I used to sleep with the TV on, but read about how horrible it was for you. Now if I need to really relax and drown out other noises, I go to the RainyMood website. (I would post the link, but I don't know if it would be considered advertising) Anyway, it's a 30-minute loop of rain noises. Sometimes, if I'm feeling extra fancy, I'll also pull up a Youtube video of a fire burning in a fireplace and make it fullscreen. I am a dork, lol.
For me, it's all about lifestyle. I have an associate's degree, earn in the $70k range per year, have a small student loan, and work only three days per week. I get to enjoy four days off per week, which is very important to me because I love unstructured free time. In addition, I do not want 24-hour responsibility over my patients.
The physicians that I know work six, sometimes seven days per week. Their days start early in the morning, and they sometimes do not get home to their families until late at night. Also, all of the female doctors that I know all had to postpone childbearing until later in life (mid-thirties and older) due to being in school many years. Some of these ladies cannot get pregnant because they are at an age where their fertility has waned. Moreover, the average doctor has massive student loans.
Being a doctor is an admirable, prestigious, and respectable lifestyle that I do not want. While I'd love to be earning a six-figure salary, I'll forgo the money for a decent quality of life.
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