today the nursing supervisor wrote me up for 4 med errors i made in one shift. i feel incompetent, stupid, and sad at the same time. i don't believe the errors were life threatening but still nervous that it may cost me my job and possibly my lic. i'm distraught.
here were my errors:
1. i transcribed an order incorrectly
2. i gave a prn med too early.
3. i was accused of giving a pain med too early ( not sure this is founded as i remember having to explain to my patient that i could not give the med until the exact time it is due).
4. same patient as # 3. the patient had a new order to decrease pain med dosage. i noted the order but then gave her the dose that was previously ordered.
all four mistakes could have been avoided if i just would have taken my time and paid closer attention. now i'm faced with a write up and possibly loosing my job and even worse consequences. sometimes i feel like a great nurse who is competent and compassionate. then there are days like today where i question my ability to be a nurse. i pray that nothing went wrong with the patients and secondly that i still have my career.
I'm going to be as gently honest with you here as I can be without sugarcoating the message.
I can't overemphasize the need for you to pay attention to what's going on inside you, as so many others have said so well. Career counseling is not going to help unravel the mystery of confusion, agitation, distractibility, and inability to focus that is causing your work difficulties; eventually it may cost you your career if you continue to look outside yourself for the answers to your inner turmoil.
You see, I know a little bit about what you're going through, because I myself have suffered greatly from repeated mistakes during the course of my life. In my nursing career alone, I've had 12 jobs in 15 years and been unable to settle down for more than 2 years, despite my best efforts. Thankfully, my primary care MD demanded a psych consult, and at long last I finally discovered what was wrong all these years: I have bipolar (AKA manic-depressive) disorder, which disrupts my brain chemistry to the point that I am sometimes extremely anxious, other times depressed, and still other times I'm alternately irritable, hostile, flighty, expansive, happy, breezy, energetic, and impulsive by turns......or sometimes they're all combined. And when that happens, I am horrible to deal with. I am a successful nurse-administrator only because I've learned how to channel whatever energies I have on a given day into doing what I am capable of, and not forcing myself to do what I cannot when I'm in that particular 'mode'.
I'm also fortunate in that my job gives me some flexibility to do that. Your job, not so much. That is NOT to suggest that you should quit, and I would never presume to diagnose anyone with any sort of illness; that's far beyond my scope of practice! What I am saying is, I think you have a great deal to learn about yourself, and if you quit or lose your job now, it will be a lost opportunity to find out what really does make you tick. All of the problems you are having with this job will be carried with you into the next one, and the next one, and the one after that if you don't get to the bottom of what's eating you up on the inside.
I know it's scary.......when you first seek help, it feels like stepping out into mid-air blindly and on faith, not knowing if you'll land somewhere soft or fall to your death. But believe me, you can't fix something if you don't know what's wrong. Knowledge is indeed power.:redbeathe
If medication is your problem, first are you using paper or emar???
Emar usually flashes a warning sign that says....Its too early, are you sure you want to give this med???
If your using paper mar, and you have someone that is calling you Q2-Q4 on the hour for pain meds, simply take your mar and a blank piece of white paper to the pt and make a time log so you and the pt are CLEARLY aware of the next scheduled dosing times.
If the medication dosage changes, ALWAYS RBV.. be sure to tell the pt you have new orders and the times still remain the same, adding additional time for pending pharmacy review.
Be sure to make intent known you are in the patients best interest and take time to double chk or have a charge or colleague dbl chk if you have ANY doubts. We are a team!! Good Luck ;-))
mazy
932 Posts
What you said. Beautifully written and so true.