May I have possibly ruined my new career

[Lifeisajourney]

Can someone please help me with some advice on what to do...I am a new nurse. I have been working on a step down telemetry floor for 4 months now. on March 10th 2012 I went into work because my director called me and ask if I can come into work, they needed help. I work the night shift, I agreed to go into work that night. I went into work did everything my assignments called for up until 0130 in the morning one of my patient heart rhythm changed from sinus to rapid a-fib, I was handling the situation as best I could, I called the doctor, orders were taken and started the pt on a cardiezm drip, I called the cardiologist on call for the remainder orders for heparin while awaiting call back my another pt of mine pulled out his IV and blood was every where, I mean it was as if he lost a whole pint of blood. At this time I became flushed in the face and felt faint, I felt the stress kicking in when the monitor tech told me my pt rhythm changed I tried to calm myself down the best I could but I was so worried and tense in the inside. After this episode with the second pt I felt something I believe was a panic attack, the charge nurse that night told me to go to the ER according to her I didn't "look good" I went down to the ER and explained to them what I think may have happened and what triggered it. I was sent home with ordered to follow up with a primary care physician...I have not been able to go back to work since then because my insurance is late and its delaying me from finding a primary my doctor want a clearance from a doctor before I can come back, now I feel even more tense, did I cause myself to get into this situation myself by diagnosing myself as having " panic attack" I know the pt are the upmost importance and I'm pretty sure the director is covering for the hospital by letting me get a clearance first before coming back on the floor. At this point I understand I believe I put myself in this unnecessary stress and now I may have documentation written against me as having panic attacks or anxiety which is clearly not the case this doesn't look good for me if I want to find a new job. At this point I'm confused about the politics of this profession and I find it now as trying to save yourself from lawsuits than pt care.

[wish_me_luck, BSN, RN]

I understand. I am still in school, at the end, but still in school. But everyday I go to the floor, I think I hope I seriously don't injure someone or kill anybody today. It sounds bad, but you can. I worry partly because I care for my patients and the other part, to be frank, is because I worry everyday that I am on the floor that something will happen that will get me sued.

I know it sounds bad and maybe over anxious, but honestly, people anymore will sue for anything, even if you have the best intentions. I feel like the caring does leave sometimes.

I once had to go to a professionalism inservice for school (for BON) and it scared the crap out of me. I left there in tears wondering if I really wanted to be a nurse. They flashed nurses names up on the screen in front of everyone who had something against their license for like malpractice or drug use (drug use is very valid). But, also they have a paper magazine in which they list people who have something against their license for not being able to pay back loans. It was a huge charlie downer and I learned nothing GOOD from the in service. Professionalism is more than scaring the crap out of people. It's a lot of "and if you do this..."

But, yeah, I love people and care for them, but some days I think will this really be worth always having to worry over. I understand you have to be careful and pay attention, but face it, even with your best intentions/efforts and trying, stuff happens.

[iluvhrts]

How about pay out of pocket for a primary care office visit? And you do seem really anxious. Your post was even a little anxiety filled. The solution is simple. Shell out the $150.00 for a primary doc visit and return to work. Or maybe you are a little overwhelmed (and rightfully so, being a new nurse is HARD) and making excuses not to return to work? Give yourself a little more time to get adjusted to being a nurse. But, worse nights than that will happen. Soon. Did you feel you had an adequate orientation? Good Luck.

[TopazLover, BSN, RN]

You were called in on your night off? Had you had adequate sleep? food? fluids?. A "fainting" spell can happen to any of us. We are not machines. So you had a "situation" and went to the ER as yu should have. You can go back to work with a note. Get a note. See someone and shell out of pocket. Get back on that floor. yes, it is difficult but the longer you stay away the more you will build a wall to keep youi from being comfortable.

I once almost passed out during a cutdown. The surg. looked at me and told me to sit it out. I did.

Another nurse recently shared that she had a light headed episode recently, and she has many years of experience.

You went in on no notice, did half a shift and got ill. Now you are recovering. Once you get that note you will feel better.

You are new and fearful. Someday, God willing, you will be an old nurse who can share this story with the next generation of new nurses.

Best wishes.

[Lifeisajourney]

thank you for your encouraging post, may God bless you, you have really encouraged me.

[Lifeisajourney]

thanks for replying and the advice.

[Lifeisajourney]

Yeah I understand completely how you are feeling, I make sure I made right safe judgment for the pts safety as best I can and clearly all orders I don't understand. I pray to be safe and leave it all to God in prayer, thanks for replying.