Thanks so much to everyone who posted on my week one post. I appreciate the kind words and attaboys.
Thought I'd start another post and tell you about the second week. I can't begin to explain just how different this semester is going. I'm not bent out of shape, I'm not worried, I'm in tune with the content. I suppose it's helping me to have gone through it all before. I'm not getting myself worked up like I used to.
I sat down with one of my study CDs and started answering OB content questions. 90% right. The first exam is on Valentines day. I'll read my notes - which are the same as last times - and pass without a problem. It's nice to be able to say that. Again, sucks that I have to repeat this whole thing, but at least I'm on the ball.
As for clinicals, well my professor and I get along swimmingly. I've had every answer to every question she's asked. Now she trusts me. She makes sure I've pulled the right med and then sends me on my way to give it. She checks in on me from time to time and asks me for report, and I rattle it off without even checking my notes. I'm so "there" this time. Not worried about every little thing. That was a big thing for me last time. Every day, worrying about "will this be the day I screw up and fail?". That was the O in OCD talking. That's gone (thank you luvox/fluvoxamine and a whole lot of cognitive behavior mods). Now I ask myself where I'll have lunch and whether it'll have too many carbs or not. Heh heh.
I've got 3 more days left in this rotation in OB. I have to do a written paper on one of the moms. File>Open>find last years... type type type, change change change...>Save As: OBAssignment2007.doc, DONE. Next is a med-surge rotation. That's gonna be different because we're on heavy floors. I'll manage. One day I'll be team leader, and I'll have to write an assigment on that too... once again, been there done that and saved the file. Then I'll have to be district med nurse. Got written up once for that last year when I gave a med at the wrong time. That certainly will not happen again. And besides I think they'll make me give meds to 6 people? I've done 25 as an LPN.
I heard the third professor I have not met yet is not a meanie. That's a good thing. For the long days at the end, I might have some say as to which rotation/unit I get to return to for 8 long 7-3 days. I probably would be fine with going back to OB, but not sure if I should. There isn't a whole lot to do, and there's too much of an emotional thing there still, even if I am currently exhibiting good self control. Why risk it. I'll probably try to go back with the professor that welcomed me back and told me we'll have a successful semester. She told me she admires my endurance, and has a great deal of respect for people who endure. I like her.
As far as keeping my mouth shut, I'm trying really hard to just stay within the limits of normal social behavior, and so far so good. I'd imagine people think I'm a quiet guy. I only talk about as much as others do, never dominating the arena like I used to. I was such an attention hound before. No more. It's so much better this way. Wait... I just realized I'm still an atttention hound here on the board. Well, this is what this board is for, right? Getting things off my chest, a sounding board? This and the psychologist I see every week. That's been a big help too. There's a good connection there, and it's almost as though she's enjoying the banter she gets into with me. Maybe that's because I do work towards bettering myself, rather than sit there and whine, or deny, or blame others.
If it sounds like I'm doing well, it's because I AM. And darn proud to say it. It's been a long arduous road to get here - to this place where I am in life, in my head, in my health - and now I'm going to drive a pole into it, raise a flag, and call it MINE.
Feb 3, '07
ND, this is exactly what this board is for, and I'm very pleased you're posting about your experiences. It sounds as if you've really got it all together. You're going to make an excellent RN.
Continued good luck!
Feb 3, '07
I think you will make it this time. During your time off you have grown a great deal as you have expressed in your post. I personally cannot see why anything should get in your way. Especially since you have more confidence in your abilities to perform well under pressure and you have taken the responsibility to receive treatment that seems to be working for you at this time. Good luck and I hope you continue to succeed.