Making Friends

[BSNInProgress]

Hi everyone,

My nursing classes at Notre dame of maryland start this week and I'm a bit worried about making friends. When I came to college I thought making friends here would be as easy as making friends in high school but it doesn't feel that way. Everyone here is in a clique and the students in my nursing class are in super cliques since they have been in nursing since day one. I have been in nursing since day 1 as well but don't feel welcomed in any of the cliques. I'm kind and always available to help others. I say hi to people and smile but I have yet to find anyone who I can call a friend. The few people that talk to me are associates. They call me up during the semester for help with homework but once the break starts I always have to be the one to make any contact. I have family to talk to but it would be nice to be able to relate to someone my age. I don't understand what's wrong with me. I have never felt this lonely before. Can someone please give me some advice on how to make genuine friends this semester? I'm sorry my question is so long

[RN403, BSN, RN]

I am sorry to hear this. It is unfortunate, but, you cannot change the actions or behavior of others. Are there others in your class that feel the same way? Do you notice anyone else that seems to be "left out?'' Perhaps you might connect with them.

Could you try joining clubs/groups outside of your nursing class? It might be a nice break away from the "cliques'' and might be a nice way to take your mind off of nursing. Plus, you can meet other people who like the same things that you do.

Best wishes.

[NuGuyNurse2b]

You are an adult, and it's up to you to make friends. Nursing school cliques happen everywhere, it seems, so your situation is not unique. If you don't reach out, you can't expect other people to do the same for you, right? Saying hi and exchanging pleasantries is not the same as offering yourself up for group study and that's where you'll really make friends. Also, clinical is the absolute best at breaking up cliques - that is your chance to become good colleagues or friends with your clinical mates. And if you still find that you aren't making friends despite all those opportunities, maybe it might be you, not them. I'm not really saying that to be mean, but sometimes you aren't aware you are doing something if no one else brings it to your attention. Maybe you are saying hi, but then your body language is saying something else. Things like that.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Take your time hon. It's always unwise to latch on to 'friends' very quickly because you don't really know them yet. They may turn out to be real stinkers that you won't be able to scrape off no matter what you do. Worst case scenario, your new BFFs will expect you to cheat and help them, borrow money from you, get wasted every time you go anywhere, be crude or embarrassing, etc.

Be selective and take your time. This means that friendship will occur as a result of having common interests or habits - people that add value to your life & you are happy to be around. Engage people in conversation and get to know them. It'll happen.

[dorkypanda]

Congratulations on starting your nursing program! I think it's easier to have friends in HS since you knew a lot people from middle school or were friends since then. In college you must find people to be friends with and sometimes it's not as easy. If you really want to make friends , I also agree with the above poster for you to take your time on budding friendships since they come and go. Maybe you can talk to someone friendly in your nursing program and talk about your homework and such. Get to know them and help each other out when needed. It's nice to talk to others in class. You shouldn't have to force yourself to find or make friends it should come naturally.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I agree with the others. Be patient and let friendships develop naturally as you meet people who share things in common with you.

If you appear to eager ... you are likely to appear "desperate" -- and that is one of the world's biggest turn-offs.