MAJOR burnout
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I guess I just need to vent...I'm in my fourth semester of an 8 semester BSN program (not including prereq's). We go all year, with short breaks in between. We're wrapping up our Med-Surg 2 clinical rotations.
I wish I felt more enthusiastic about learning, but I am incredibly burnt out. I no longer absorb the material, can barely focus, don't participate well in group work, and am depressed all the time. The workload is so intense, and in addition, I have classes outside of nursing school to fulfill university graduation requirements. So far I am still a straight A student, but I don't know why. I barely study, which makes me feel very guilty.
At clinicals, I feel like such an idiot. I still fumble around not knowing what I'm doing. I'm good with the patients, but I hate that I'm still not even confident about putting on a freaking blood pressure cuff or listening to lung and heart sounds. I'm basically "faking it till I make it". I understand pathophysiology and pharmacology very well, but I feel like a loser when I'm on the floor and I can't even figure out how to empty the new urine bags (happened to me last week).
I can't stand most of my classmates. I want to volunteer and make a difference, but I'm too exhausted to even clean my own apartment. My poor husband does his best to support me on one income.
What should I do? Are these normal feelings? I want so badly to be a nurse but in the back of my head, I can't help but think I'm not good enough to do it. And I'm terrified that when I graduate, I will be so inexperienced (I haven't even yet inserted a Foley or started an IV successfully) that nobody will want to hire me. Plus, I'm afraid I won't be able to handle the stress.
I have four papers due in one week, along with all my regular assignments. I feel like if I had 100 hours in the day, I still wouldn't get everything done.