Family members drive me nuts!

  1. Last night I had to contact the Dr. for a patient who is not eating or drinking. Pt has been sent out 2x's for dehydration in the last 2 weeks. Dr. asked to me discussion options of G-tube or hospice for pt with family.
    I called home # of family Jane (not real name)answered and replied that responsible party was not there, but she is the pt's daughter. I explained to her that since she is not listed as someone I could give info to I couldn't tell her anything. She got VERY nasty with me. I apologized and suggested she contact responsable party and have them add her on the list.
    I then called resp parties cell # and left a message. Approx 40 min l rcvd a call from person identifying them selves as the responsible party. I have never spoke with her before. I proceeded to tell her everything that was going on and her options. was on the phone with her for approx 20 min.
    40 min after that i rcvd a call from a person who identified themselves as the resp party. I was like Ummm....I just spoke with you. She said no, I just went to lunch as I am at work.
    It turns out the mother of the pt had a friend call and impersonate her daughter ( the grandaughter of the pt)in order to obtain info on pt. Resp party is trying to care for her mother (alcoholic, beginnings of dementia) and her grandmother (alzheimers) by herself. The poor girl is so overwhelmed! Thankfully she has decided on hospice. Our hospice up here is wonderfull. They will step in and get her the support she needs to take care of her mother and grandmother.
    But am mad I was fooled like that. I had to call DON at 10 p.m. last night to report it. DON will speak with resp party so we can add mother as a contact person.
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    About LegginMF

    Joined: May '06; Posts: 33; Likes: 2


  3. by   pagandeva2000
    I hate situations like this; it really puts one on the spot. If your DON was supportive of you, then, try not to worry about it. At least you reported it to her.
  4. by   momtojosh
    at our hospital the PTs have personal ID numbers that are given to family members who can receive the info....only after the ID is said then we can give it out....
  5. by   TheCommuter
    Family members annoy me, and believe me when I say that we have several crazy and/or abusive family members who regularly visit their loved ones at the facility where I work.
  6. by   sasha2lady
    omg.....shame on her!!!!!!! that is soooo sneaky and deceptive! I woulda been heated!!! although...sounds like your job does like mine in this area...we were told that if a person was listed on the contact list in the chart then we could give info but if not..we couldnt. I had a very similar case happen to me...had a guy who was not in the best shape..he came to us basically skin and bones, poor intake from day one..confused from day one also....he got sent out and came back...he was the same...i knew his son b/c i had met him several times and he would always ask alot of ?'s but he was super super nice to me and all of us there.....then one comes this woman who none of us had ever seen before...and she comes to the desk and asks me about his meds and was he on something that would make him so drowsy....this guy had only took meds for his prostate, bones, and prn pain meds, and 2 bp meds. that was it....she told me that she was his niece....but wouldnt tell me her name....i told her there were no changes in his meds..and she says " hes confused...hes never been confused before"...omg....what???????? this guy had underlying dementia that most likely had started welllll before he came to us and i told her that he had been confused since the day he came to us. then she wanted a copy of his meds.....i looked on his chart and the only person listed was his i told her that i couldnt give her any more info or copies of anything since she wasnt listed on his chart . she said to me " well i should be! Im his neice!"...and i said to her're not listed....i cant give out anything...if you want to be listed then you need to talk to his son and the social worker hands are tied"...well..she huffed up and left thank god. and he never did add her on as a contact. plus...she never did tell me her name either. we all knew that this pt was dying...finally he was sent to hospice and passed. we did all we could do for him...we did every test and xray imaginable.....came up with the same conclusion....death was iminent. still...its hard to deal with those nasty hateful families...not to mention the overbearing ones who dont come around enough to have a clue or buy a vowel.
  7. by   Boog'sCRRN246
    I don't even deal directly with patients or their families but I've recently had a spouse of a patient threaten to come to my place of work and HUNT me down. Over a misplaced piece of paper that I never came in contact with in the first place. It's ridiculous how nasty some people can be over nothing.
  8. by   NurseCubanitaRN2b
    I can't stand family members like that. At our hospital we also have a code that one must present when they're inquiring about their family member. I was I've had someone do the same exact thing. I was floated to maternity that night. All the person wanted to know if the patient had been admitted to the hospital. Well this person was marked "private" which means that they didn't want anybody to know they were in the hospital. So a about an hour later another person calls back and I answered the phone. It sounded like that same person saying, and I didn't break. The person kept telling me "I just want to know if this person is admitted or not" and I said "I'm sorry but I don't have that information". Well this person ended up coming down to the hospital in the middle of the night looking for this person. They came up the elevators and demanded to speak to the Charge Nurse. I got the Charge Nurse and "she" proceeded to say that this was her friend and she wanted to know if she had been admitted or not. The Charge Nurse had not problem telling her that if she was a good friend then she would have told her if she was here or not. So the nurse asked her to call her friend that she thought was admitted because there was no way she was going to answer yes or no to that question. Finally she left, and someone else came in claiming to be the sister and when we asked for a code, she didn't know it of course, she said she was here to see her sister. She was avoiding asking for the code. Anyway, this person DID have a code because she wanted to be private, and she didn't want a specific person to know she was having her baby there. Anyway, it ended up being that woman that she didn't want any information to be given to. It turns out that is the ex girlfriend of the babys father, and she can't seem to let go. So needless to say, this woman never came around again.