Loss of a patient

[SMS1980]

I lost my first pt on Friday. I'm still in nursing school and happened to be in the ER for a clinical rotation and barely an hour in, a pt came in and required CPR...I performed the compressions and she was pronounced while my hands were still on her. I'm having a hard time with this. I can remember the feel of her bones under my hands and the sound of her breath leaving her. What can I do to get back on track?

[nervousnurse, ASN]

I'm sending you many (( hugs ))!!!

[bitter_betsy, BSN]

In all honesty - I think that maybe you are (or were) in shock. I wouldn't expect to be in a situation in nursing school where I would be presented with the opportunity to have my first patient die while I was working on them - not having graduated or passed the NCLEX or having been offered a job as a nurse on my own accord. While it is true that you didn't know this person and that it shouldn't affect you like our seasoned peeps have pointed out, I don't think you woke up that morning expecting the day to proceed as it did. I'm not in nursing school yet and when I sat and thought about this, I realized that it isn't something I would have really considered as a possibility.

I am thankful that you posted this experience. It will at least occur to me that I may experience my first patient death while in school also. I'm sure it doesn't happen to many students, but I would think most of us students would feel that this wouldn't happen until after we have graduated and are working on our own.