Published
I lost my first pt on Friday. I'm still in nursing school and happened to be in the ER for a clinical rotation and barely an hour in, a pt came in and required CPR...I performed the compressions and she was pronounced while my hands were still on her. I'm having a hard time with this. I can remember the feel of her bones under my hands and the sound of her breath leaving her. What can I do to get back on track?
In all honesty - I think that maybe you are (or were) in shock. I wouldn't expect to be in a situation in nursing school where I would be presented with the opportunity to have my first patient die while I was working on them - not having graduated or passed the NCLEX or having been offered a job as a nurse on my own accord. While it is true that you didn't know this person and that it shouldn't affect you like our seasoned peeps have pointed out, I don't think you woke up that morning expecting the day to proceed as it did. I'm not in nursing school yet and when I sat and thought about this, I realized that it isn't something I would have really considered as a possibility.
I am thankful that you posted this experience. It will at least occur to me that I may experience my first patient death while in school also. I'm sure it doesn't happen to many students, but I would think most of us students would feel that this wouldn't happen until after we have graduated and are working on our own.
nervousnurse, ASN
291 Posts
I'm sending you many (( hugs ))!!!