losing to nursing

I'm still a pretty new nurse, in that I started my first hospital job a few months ago after working in a nursing home for about a year. I'm proud that I was able to get off orientation on a busy tele floor, but like every newish nurse I'm always feeling stupid and inadequate. The other night I got scolded by the supervisor for not transferring a patient off the floor fast enough. It was a terribly busy night and all the nurses had 6 pts. I felt like everything kept going wrong. I was in the middle of my med pass so I thought I'd finish before leaving the floor because I figured I would end up staying after change of shift to finish up everything if I just dropped everything and transferred the patient before anything else. I still ended up staying past shift another hour to finish up. I learned my lesson from the whole ordeal but it just felt crappy being scolded over the phone by the supervisor like that. I'm worried what's going to happen if/when she mentions it to my manager.

On top of that, I'm introverted and don't feel comfortable chit chatting and getting to know co workers when I'm at work. When I'm done I like to get out as fast as possible instead of lingering around making small talk/gossiping, etc. I've never been one to be loud and talk about myself or come up with funny interesting things to say that make people think I'm a likeable person. I'm generally awkward in my interactions with people. Im trying to engage with others and help out when I can to some extent so I avoid being alienated, but it's hard and i feel it adding to my stress. I feel fake? I find it hard enough trying to build rapport with my patients...

When I compare myself to other nurses, I feel like I do a crappy job. I know I'm new but there are things I don't do that I know I should but I just feel like I don't have the time sometimes so screw it. Trying to always do the right thing is starting to get tiring. And when I don't I feel even more like crap. Most of the time I feel I don't like nursing enough to do an amazing job. Always just 'good enough'.

I thought I liked the learning aspect of nursing, but when I go home I want to do everything else but study/improve my knowledge base. How can I make a career out of this the way I am now? I know I don't want to stay at the bedside forever, and am really staying for the experience, but I feel like I don't like nursing enough to pursue additional study/training/experience so I can do something else? I can't tell if this is just new nurse blues and I need to give it time or if I really don't like people enough to do this so I should just find some other field entirely to go into. I don't know. I'm lost.

not even sure what I expect by posting this here. Maybe just wanted to post my feelings that I haven't been able to express honestly to other nurses because I feel kind of ashamed? Ashamed im not like other shiny brimmering new nurses who are loving it. I suppose I should just be happy that I have a job and can support myself...