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Discussion

looking for support from fellow nurses?

I passed my nursing boards in feb of this year & got my first job as a registered nurse in april. First off I want to say I have always had problems with anxiety but it has always been mild never affecting my daily life, I have been productive socially enough so to find the love of my life and marry him as well as graduate college. I feel like I was thrown out on to the floor as a new nurse and of course I drowned very quickly, I worked on a telemetry unit for around four months... it was the worst four months of my life. I cried at home and at work to the point of where my family didn't know what to do to comfort me or try to help me cope. I felt like I was constantly doing things that I didn't know how to do with very little help or support. You could say that my experience as a nurse was nothing but negative in that position. I finally quit and got a new position at an after hours clinic, I have been in that position for a little over a week and even though the stress level is not as high I am still crying everyday before I go in to work, the only time I am happy is when I know I do not have to work. It's affecting my home life because my husband doesn't know what to do to be able to console me, so far my experience at the clinic hasn't been a bad one but I am constantly worried that they will ask me to do something I don't know how to do and I will be put in that situation again. I'm embarrassed when I don't know how to do something as well. I barely sleep any more because I stay up at night thinking about how I would rather do anything but go in to work, my body physically feels worn down as if I have the flu. I can't quit this job because that will look terrible on my resume and I worry I will never find another position, my family will also be very disappointed in me since they say I am being lazy and just don't want to work. I would love to see a physician but my insurance has not kicked in yet and I live in a very small place that doesn't offer the same resources as a larger city. I feel like I have no where to turn... suggestions on ways to cope?

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    {{{{hugs}}}. First off, try not to be so hard on yourself. It does not sound like your being lazy and I'm sure you family does not think so either. You have to take care of yourself number one. If you take care of yourself, things will not feel as overwhelming. It sounds like you have become depressed from all of the angst your feeling in your new career. You may need to see a counselor. Most counselors such as an MSW are not overly expensive. It would be worth the money believe me. So please consider it.

    Nobody knows everything and nobody expects you to know everything. I suspect that you are the one with this expectation. Don't ever be afraid to ask questions or ask for help. Your a brand new nurse for goodness sakes. If you have truly tried on your own to obtain or understand something and you still need help, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Ask your peers in your clinic if there are certain procedures and policies you can study that apply to your practice. They should know what are the most common things you will deal with on a day to day basis. Ask one of the docs and let them know you want to learn.

    It takes 1-2 years to feel semi-comfortable as a nurse. I find it always helps to involve myself with my patients, if you can help one person, you should feel good. In fact, try to think of one thing no matter how small that you do everyday that made a difference. Even if it's just putting a smile on someone's face. Focus more on what your are doing well, I'm sure there are some.

    I wish you luck...we have all been there. I learn something new everyday. As a nurse you never stop learning.

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    I can't add much to what the above poster said. Just know that there are many, many nurses who suffer from anxiety and depression, and that there is help available, even if it's the county mental health department where you pay on a sliding scale according to income. Please make the time and funds to see a counselor as soon as possible. You deserve better than to feel under siege every time you go to work. Take care.

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    Another place you may be able to find counseling is at a local university. The one by where I live offers free counseling with graduate students in the counseling program. I've sought counseling there a few times over the years.

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    Congratulations! You have done a wonderful job so far because you’ve made it farther than a whole passel of other new grads have. Many are still looking for work.

    It sounds like your main concern is an inability to cope with your new responsibilities in your new role. This inability to cope has spilled over from your professional life to your home life. Someday you may get the hang of leaving work at work and home at home, but apparently, today ain’t the day. With that in mind, lets try and look at this from a little distance and see if we can put a dent in the problem.

    #1. Breathe. Take a moment in your day and sit in the bathroom if you have to and just Breathe. Close your eyes and practice meditation for relaxation. That’s a start.

    #2. Today, you are the nurse who is going to make a care plan for the patient who is experiencing all the difficulties that you’ve outlined above. Only you know the depth of your involvement and the resources that you have to your avail. Therefore, you can put a care plan together for You.

    #3. Know that it’s going to get better.

    #4. Be your own advocate. You will find that no matter where you go, you’re going to get put in situations where you don’t know what you’re doing. I’ve been a nurse for over 20 years and work in a level II trauma ICU with CVICU and neuro patients all rolled into one. I have my CCRN and other accoutrements of licensure. Even I get asked to do stuff that I don’t know how to do because I don’t know everything and everyday is a chance to apply what I know and to learn what I don’t know. When I don’t know how to do something, I Say So, and so should you, because that is what a prudent nurse does. It shows that you would rather put the patient’s well being before your pride.

    #5. Repeat #1 while you think about #3.

    I hope this helps.

    :)

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