Looking for suggestions regarding visiting with residents

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Last month, I began volunteering at a nursing home. I work 1:1 with residents who have been "forgotten about" or who do not receive much special time with others.

One lady, in particular, suffers from dementia. Her communication goes back and forth between sounds, repeated words over and over and over again, and some distinguishable words. In the midst of that, she goes back and forth between her Spanish, Catalan, English, possibly French, and a little Italian. Communicating with her is quite challenging, but we manage to do it. We even laugh together. She has a great laugh.

Each week, I bring large books with beautiful pictures. Mainly, I've brought picture books from her hometown in Spain. (She is here in the States with her daughter.) We look through them and she "talks" to me about everything. At times she is quite animated, she may be happy about a picture or mad about it, emphatically saying "NO NO NO." If I bring a book that is written in Spanish, she often corrects my pronunciation and laughs at that. I have such fun visiting with her.

She does not wear corrective eye glasses. Her sight is really great! She often reads the small words on the pages of the books, and can read them well enough to know when I'm butchering the name of a cathedral or Saint.

Another lady is totally with it! She is a former chemist and keeps up with my progress in school (waiting for my acceptance letter, and currently taking A&P 2 and Psych 202.) She doesn't enjoy the books, but prefers to talk about her family and my family. She's been quite exhausted lately... just doesn't seem "right" but I know that's ever-changing with this population.

I'd like to know if anyone has any suggestions on other ways to reach my new friends. They are both immobile except for their wheelchairs. The second lady is totally unable to even use her arms.

Thanks in advance!

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I will be going back to visit my new friends later this week. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thank you!

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Specializes in LTC.

Sounds like you're doing very well the way you're doing things now. Most older folks in homes thoroughly enjoy someone paying them attention. Imagine that you were in your own home, with people running all about all of the time but just passing right by you like you were not even there. You would likely get sad and lonely. So do these guys. On occasion, I would survey the sea of faces around the nurses desk, just sitting there staring off into space looking rather sad/lonely and it kills me. So, I'd run around and give hugs or at least a "Good morning Mrs. Smith! Mr. Jones! How are you?" and otherwise engage them. When I left the area, most would have at least a little smile to their face and appear at least a little happier. They want and need attention and human interaction as much, if not more than we do. We can and do initiate contact. Sometimes they can't or won't initiate. It's up to us to help them feel cared for, if it's only a 30 second conversation. Keep up the good work! You're doing far more good for them than you know.

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There is nothing better than as a nurse than to get a few minutes to visit with a patient during a busy day, especially in ltc.

What you're doing is awesome!! I agree w the other poster- you are doing more good than you know. Not sure what your boundaries are, but when i would visit my grandma when she was in ltc i would bring her a milkshake or one of her favorite foods, or just have lunch w her.

If it's nice outside take them for a walk around the building. You could also give one of your ladies a manicure, bring some nail polish!

Kudos to you!!

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Thank you! The manicure idea is definitely something I can do, and hand massage. That decade as a licensed massage therapist will pay off! I'm not sure about favorite foods, but I can certainly ask!

Thank you for the encouragement. I love these residents and hope I can make their days a little better for them.

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Specializes in kids.

I liked your post and your caring attitude, but I hope that I am not one of the family members who is labeled as "forgetting about" my mother if and when she enters into LTC. I live 4 hours away for very good reasons....(that would be a whole other post...I chose to live my life away from the shadow of my family).

Why a person may not be there physically, you really have no idea why the visits are sporadic at best. Maybe it is just too painful now. Maybe it has been been painful for the past 20, 30 or 40 years. I envy those folks who have a loving and liking relationship with their parents.

I wish my mom was the type that made it easy to get in the car and drive 8 hours round trip, to sit there and listen to her be the narcissistic woman that she is....I can't EVEN begin to imagine how it will be when she becomes more frail and needy.....

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Most of the residents with whom I am paired haven't had visits from family members in years.

I realize that every situation, like every person is unique. I also realize that everyone deals with family, illness, and aging differently.

The phrase wasn't meant to sound judgmental. As you eluded to, everyone has their own history, their own battles, their own choices and struggles. But there are also some children who drop off their family members and never return.

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When I first started working in ltc, I was so frustrated by the absent families. I was upset because when my grandma was in ltc, after us caring for her at home in shifts for several years, we just continued on with our organized system. Everyone lived close by and she was visited in the morning and evening every day. Eventually dementia robbed her of our faces, but she would sometimes have a moment of lucidity.

With that history I could not understand the families who did not visit more. After awhile I began to see why that happened. We had a well-oiled machine running that we continued. We had always been a close family, grandma babysat us as children and we all (all 24 of us!!!!!) ate together on Sundays and holidays. We had an advantage for these reasons.

Not all families have this dynamic!!!!!! So I dropped my judgement of the families and resolved that I was now lucky enough to have a building full of new family members to love on :-) I did care for them as I had cared for grandma. How lucky, to have such a great job!

Sorry for the novel, on to the OP's request. For your lady that enjoys the books about Spain, maybe some music that she would recognise? Music is so important to most people in terms of emotional response. And for your scientific lady, what if you brought your books and had her explain anything that you need help with? You could also ask them for recipes of their favorite foods and cook the foods for them. Good luck and have fun!

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Specializes in LTC.

To NutmeggeRN:

Oh do I ever understand. My mother is the textbook example of NPD. Very, very difficult to be around or even talk to for 5 min. (Ends up being a 5 min. berating of some sort, slathered in sarcastic, biting remarks.) My mother appears to be funny, outgoing, happy, etc. to others. They wouldn't understand why I have very little to do with her. So, I'll get to be the "ungrateful, selfish" daughter that will be judged by those who don't know the history when I don't show up very often. Can't wait. :sniff:

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You really can't judge any family members for not coming - you don't know their life. Just because a resident is sweet and caring now doesn't mean they were a good mom or dad or sibling or what not.

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Specializes in kids.
To NutmeggeRN:

Oh do I ever understand. My mother is the textbook example of NPD. Very, very difficult to be around or even talk to for 5 min. (Ends up being a 5 min. berating of some sort, slathered in sarcastic, biting remarks.) My mother appears to be funny, outgoing, happy, etc. to others. They wouldn't understand why I have very little to do with her. So, I'll get to be the "ungrateful, selfish" daughter that will be judged by those who don't know the history when I don't show up very often. Can't wait. :sniff:

Ya....the next year should be interesting, my son is engaged and she is the self proclaimed Matriarch of the family.......she was such a miserable biotch when I got married ( I was preggers- no wedding dress, no printed invites, she wouldnt do a shower)....they are pretty non traditional. It's gonna be entertaining....

Ugh

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