Looking For Advice

[kl616]

Hello,

I have some doubts about my pursuit of nursing, and would love some feedback from someone with experience. I apologize if this isn't the best place to post this (couldn't really figure the boards out), and I will try to be as brief as possible:

I just recently started the first semester of an RN program at a local community college and a job working weekends as a CNA. I am a 24 year old university graduate with a BA in English, and was influenced to go into nursing as a result of my own cancer diagnosis and treatment in 2012. I am now cancer free, but have developed diplopia, epilepsy, and exaggerated depression and anxiety that has been present since childhood.

I made it through my nursing prerequisites with general ease, but now that I am in legitimate nursing courses and I am actually doing work as a CNA, I'm not so sure that this is for me and I am quickly losing interest. I was drawn to the field because I wanted to make a personal connection with my patients and act lovingly towards them given that I know what it is like to be in a position of care-taking. However, now that I am learning the inner workings of the career, it does not seem like that's much of what I'll be doing at all. It seems like I'm going to be rushing in and out of patients' rooms, making minimal contact/conversation, doing the things I need to do, and charting, charting, charting. And, as a CNA, this is already what I am doing – rushing from room to room from the moment that I arrive, cleaning messes, worrying that I'm going to hurt a patient or myself, considering all of the health issues I might acquire, and above all just waiting for something to go wrong.

I go to work and school with a sick feeling in my stomach, and often drive home crying. I realize that a lot of this is my anxiety and depression (which I am being treated for), but can't stop but feeling like this career is not for me. I know that this is a stressful career even without anxiety, and I wonder if the stress will go away with time. It's especially problematic as it exaggerates my epilepsy. I was at work yesterday, holding back tears as I cleaned rooms, having small seizures throughout the day assumedly because of the stress I was experiencing. I ended up going home early for fear that the seizures would worsen.

I suppose I'm just asking for some opinions on whether or not you folks think this would be a good career choice for me. It's more stressful than I realized, and from a caretaker's point of view, it's just not what I thought it would be or what I was hoping for. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far. Best to you.

[dtchavey]

I'll start with my background;

I have about 8 years of experience in both Acute, and Long Term Care. I am currently a Director of Nursing in Long Term Care, I have been in this position for 3.5 years.

Nursing is a tough job, and I think that you pointed out the hottest topics in your question. I'm not going to lie to you, this is physically and emotionally taxing. While I have been lucky to have great health, I even developed situational anxiety because of my work. So that is the bad.

I have found the role for me though. As a DON I have a lot of personal contact with my people. I also have a huge role in planning their care, and improving quality of life. I don't think you will get that level of involvement from most areas of nursing, but I have put in the time in Long Term Care to get to a place that I can make positively impact the lives of my residents.

Keep your health in mind, and determine if the rewards are good enough to sacrifice that much of yourself.

[emmy27]

Hello,

I was drawn to the field because I wanted to make a personal connection with my patients and act lovingly towards them given that I know what it is like to be in a position of care-taking.

Regrettably, the current state of healthcare is such that many nursing jobs have very little time for this. While there are times as a nurse you have the privilege and pleasure of connecting with people personally or helping them in a way they are able to perceive as helpful, there are many, many more where you are rushed, unable to do everything you would like for your patients, and many of your most critical duties are things invisible to patients and their families or entirely unrelated to actual nursing care (managerial trends these days are all about managing the "patient experience," which is code for "make the patient happy" NOT "make the patient well").

It is a very, very stressful job, and while some aspects (the being new and inexperienced, working while in school) will improve, most direct patient-care jobs are fundamentally structured in a way that's stressful- patient ratios are high, nursing duties are increasing, and patients are becoming larger and sicker on average.

If your gut is telling you this is not for you, listen to your gut. There are many ways you can provide loving care to people that are not working as an RN. Working in another field and volunteering in a hospital might be more of the experience you were hoping for.

Good luck with your health and your decision.

[icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN]

Maybe you would enjoy another avenue with regular hours such as music therapy,child life specialist, activity therapist in LTC or occupational therapy.

[Natasha, RN, BSN]

Regrettably, the current state of healthcare is such that many nursing jobs have very little time for this. While there are times as a nurse you have the privilege and pleasure of connecting with people personally or helping them in a way they are able to perceive as helpful, there are many, many more where you are rushed, unable to do everything you would like for your patients, and many of your most critical duties are things invisible to patients and their families or entirely unrelated to actual nursing care (managerial trends these days are all about managing the "patient experience," which is code for "make the patient happy" NOT "make the patient well").

It is a very, very stressful job, and while some aspects (the being new and inexperienced, working while in school) will improve, most direct patient-care jobs are fundamentally structured in a way that's stressful- patient ratios are high, nursing duties are increasing, and patients are becoming larger and sicker on average.

If your gut is telling you this is not for you, listen to your gut. There are many ways you can provide loving care to people that are not working as an RN. Working in another field and volunteering in a hospital might be more of the experience you were hoping for.

Good luck with your health and your decision.

Well said!!! And so true....

[lunchboxRN]

Hospitals aren't the only place you can work, other areas offer the ability to spend time talking with patients. You may have to put a year or two in acute care, or you may not, I didn't. There is home health, home care, hospice, adult day care, to name a few. Nursing may not be for you ultimately, but don't think that all nursing has to be as busy as acute care.

[nursephillyphil, BSN, RN]

like maggie and lunchbox said, there are other alternative routes which will allow you to do what you want to do MOST, which i take it is to develop rapport and a relationship with your patient. i'd strongly suggest those routes as they are probably less stressful as well.