Leaving the Drama in the home

[maryen]

I need help! How do you leave the drama of a high need care patient at home and not take it with you. I have a pt. who I work with 3 days per week and it is solid direct patient care from 7a-3p. She is Trach and Vent dependant, can only move 1 hand and in a wheelchair. She is a young adult and has constant major drama in her life and will go on and on about it for hours. Family troubles, staffing issues,finding and keeping staff, agency issues,funding troubles, medical issues, emotional issues-you name it. It seems to be how she lives her life-lots of issues and drama. I am finding it harder and harder to let go of it and leave it at the job. She also does not have much money and often hints at me bringing supplies which I have done(and now totally regret) but it sure does make the shift harder to perform when no wipes, soap, liquids are in her house. I know it is not a healthy situation but the pay is very good, I am good at my job and enjoy it (but for the constant drama)and it is 5 minutes from my home. I try to bring up other topics to share with her but she is not interested.

Any advice on how to forget all her drama would be much appreciated!

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

This does sound exhausting...god bless you for taking this on..even with pay. I have to ask is she an any anti -depressants and/or any anti -anxiety agents? ..You can two things here...one you can try some things that will help you keep work at work OR you can try to make things better for the patient which will ultimately make it easier for yo to decompress after your shift. I think I would try a combination of both.

1 Try to figure out a solution to the supply problem without you paying for them. Review her medication profile..does she need anything else to help her..she sounds awfully tense and stressed. Interview the patient and find out what interests she has....can you watch a movie...can you read a book to her....can you send some E mails for her...can you work on the computer together...try to find something she enjoys and can do...there must be something that can still bring her joy? Is there anyone and family that can also help with her other problems to help ease her stress...does she have a case manager..maybe they help with the supply issue as well

2. now for you...you need to decompress after work....what works for you....some deep breathing exercises...window shopping.....a cup of Starbucks...a short drive...pick something that is doable and works for you......you have done your shift...you did a good job...now it is your time..for you and your family.......you can also try some visualization techniques

[caliotter3]

Five minutes away from your home trumps all reasons to look for another case. Like stated in the other post, fill up your life with "you" time and consider yourself very lucky that this is all you have to put up with. Hang in there as long as you can. Good luck.

[maryen]

Thank you both for your thoughtful replies. I just finished 3 days with her and found that hugging my kids and hubby when I got home really helped alot! I know it sounds silly-but for me it helped. Also being grateful for what I have helps. I really want to make this position last as I know that despite the stress my family needs the $$ right now.

[Blackcat99]

Very good pay and only 5 minutes away from your house!!!!! I know you don't live in Florida since you are receiving very good pay. Some people are just plain negative and always will be. I have a friend who is negative and is so emotionally draining. I try to re-direct her to something positive but it never seems to work.

[maryen]

I know what you mean about emotionally draining.My pt. thrives on her drama. I try to keep a wall up when she is having a hard go of it all and not let it get to me. It is hard! My hubby and friends tell me I should look for something else....My goal is to stick it out till my kids are out of school for the summer and tune out her drama in the mean time so that I remain calm and cool.

The issues of her lack of supplies is anothet matter- Family lives below poverty level and also out of things. They have even been reported to social services and were given some emergancy funds. Mother is also very ill. Case managers are involved as are several other agencies. I have started to carry just a few supplies with me in my bag-I used to provide rolls of paper towels, toliet paper, juice,soup, and more. Now I just keep a small supply in a bag and take it with me at the end of my shift.

Thank you all for the support- It just helped to vent a bit. The good news is that I am off for 4 days! And yes-5 minute commute and good pay is a huge plus.

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

Remember to leave work at work..even if you have to repeat that mantra to yourself. I would call the case manager and try to get them to help you with the supply issues. Also is the pt on antidepressants?

[maryen]

Sorry for taking so long to respond- No- She is not on any antidepressants. Meds are a big issue with her as she only weighs 30 lbs and has multiple congenital defects that affect drug absorption.