Leaving because of coworker?

Nurses Relations

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Hi everyone,

I've been at my job for just over 8 months (graduated last August), and I really enjoy it! My unit has an amazing culture, the doctors respect the staff, patients and families are always sweet and appreciative. I couldn't ask for a better workplace! But I recently got news that may complicate matters. A friend-turned-stalker/harasser has transferred into my workplace this past week. This person and I used to be close in school (we bonded over starting new careers as nurses) until an obsessive and unwelcomed fixation on me started to develop. Calls during the night just to hear my voice and constant texts of where-are-you's occurred when we weren't together; if we were together, she'd constantly put me down and/or complain about me (in front of me) to others. I couldn't take it, and she never changed despite me bringing it up several times, so I cut her off. I explicitly told her twice not to contact me ever again.

Welp, cutting her off led to even more calls and texts. Blocking on all modes of contact led to her calling on unrecognized phone numbers, emailing with fake addresses to get past the blocks, and sending letters without return addresses. The whole works. This person also tried to go through mutual acquaintances to learn my whereabouts or recent actions. The constant unwanted contact and snooping made me feel incredibly unsafe for myself and my family. I eventually reported her to the school for stalking/harassment. The stress was hard, so we moved to another state after I graduated and prepped acquaintances to "play dumb" about my move.

It's been over a year now, and as I said, my job is wonderful, and my life I wonderful. I barely think about this person anymore, except the occasional catastrophizing where I think this person will show up at my door and throw acid on my and my SO's faces (no threats have ever been made to do so, I should add). Just when I think I'm in the clear, she shows up in this new state, at this new hospital, and in my exact unit! Now I feel unsafe again, and I'm worried her stalking/harassment will restart or worse: escalate. I told my employers about our tumultuous past, and they responded by saying that there's nothing they or HR can do as of now because none of these events that have occurred were while we both worked here. "Report anything without hesitation" they said. Beyond that, they can't guarantee any protections.

I'm considering moving again (my kids will complain, but my husband and I have jobs that do make this possible). I have connections at other hospitals, but I hate the thought of leaving a job where I'm appreciated and valued after only 8 months. It's my first nursing job for Pete's sake! And I'd hate to do it so abruptly. Do you guys have any advice about how I should move forward? Should I stay vigilant and report anything that happens in/out of the workplace? Should I change jobs again to avoid this person? I'm at a loss! Please help.

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

I agree with the above advice not to leave - you can't run forever. Staying is you keeping your power. HOWEVER - be smart. Be safe. You have already taken the step of notifying management. Keep well documented records of any and all interactions. Report any violations and bring the law into it this time; a pre-emptive report is in order. Make sure you are never alone with this person and utilize close work relationships to keep things on a professional level only. If he/she tries to engage you, directly state "I am only going to speak to you about work related issues. We have no personal relationship" and leave the room, change the subject, refuse to engage.

I would keep leaving on the back burner as a solution of last resort, but don't remove it. Your safety and that of your family is first and foremost. I am sorry you are going through this.

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