Lack of professionalism

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I've been an RN for almost three years, and I've worked for a single private duty peds company since shortly after I received my degree. Other than 6 months of administrative leave during a claim I've been on anywhere from 40-80 hours per week with 2-3 clients. With all that in mind, I'm curious about the level of behavior I see from other nurses I work on cases.

On my first case I was trained by a nurse who would frequently sit and read her Kindle while caring for two active children, 3 and 5. The overnight nurse frequently slept on shift, and another nurse that came in later would nap on the couch with the kids when she couldn't handle 12 hour shifts(which she agreed to) and drew the family into her own personal life by helping them rent a new home from a family member.

I've seen pay for the family to go on vacation and just "work" max hours per day during the vacation, aka chart while the family took care of themselves. Nurses buying expensive presents for the kids, having a drink with the family after the kids were asleep, buying groceries for the family, showing up on holidays to see the family, even if they were no longer on the case.

I'm not sure if 3 years is enough experience to be this judgemental but it seems like people find it impossible to distinguish the boundaries between being a professional and not being one. I understand it's hard to spend a lot of time with the family without being drawn into their dynamic but isn't that a part of the job? Are there actually professional private duty nurses, or is this the eventual evolution of working with a family for years?

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Specializes in Home Health, PDN, LTC, subacute.

Yep it's the same everywhere I think. Primary nurse on my one case stays 3-4 hours late daily. Tells family all other nurses are lazy. Agency does not care unless the client complains. It's the families fault too. They are getting hours/things they are not entitled to so why complain?

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Specializes in Peds(PICU, NICU float), PDN, ICU.

It's typical. It sets up nurses with boundaries for failure. The agencies only care about the money. So if the family is happy, the agency turns their heads. I've lost plenty of cases for keeping boundaries.

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
It's typical. It sets up nurses with boundaries for failure. The agencies only care about the money. So if the family is happy, the agency turns their heads. I've lost plenty of cases for keeping boundaries.

Same here. But those are sometimes the easiest to move on from as the parents cross boundaries too.

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Same here...just left a 7 1/2 years went above and beyond (not my first case) got sucked in helping out then found it hard to say "no" really miss my lil M....

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Specializes in Peds(PICU, NICU float), PDN, ICU.

I think that PDN is better for nurses with boundaries. I don't think it is a good fit for those that have trouble saying "no".

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
I think that PDN is better for nurses with boundaries. I don't think it is a good fit for those that have trouble saying "no".

Agreed. But for some reason in education/schools crossing boundaries is encouraged. If I'm working and my kiddo has a fundraiser or a school show I'm happy to support. But Im sorry I have a life & a family, not much of a life, but I'm not letting work impinge on my family time. However school thinks nothing of staff showing up at non-school events with no personal connection other than a student or students.

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Specializes in Peds(PICU, NICU float), PDN, ICU.
Agreed. But for some reason in education/schools crossing boundaries is encouraged. If I'm working and my kiddo has a fundraiser or a school show I'm happy to support. But Im sorry I have a life & a family, not much of a life, but I'm not letting work impinge on my family time. However school thinks nothing of staff showing up at non-school events with no personal connection other than a student or students.

I think it depends on the school/teacher.

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
I think it depends on the school/teacher.

I find paraprofessionals especially if 1:1 are most likely to cross boundaries and involve self in student life outside school.

Just like nursing that is 1:1 many get very attached and territorial. I left a case where instead of calling the office the family would contact their preferred nurse directly it was a huge issue. I've been at work when an off duty coworker was banging on the front door. 1. I don't have family permission to answer their door/phone. 2. I was in the middle of caring for my client. this nurse actually called on call manager to call me to open the door why? The nurse (who wanted to move into full time on the case) was outside with Valentine or St Patrick or full moon Friday gifts for the patient, siblings and parents. On call didn't put her through to me but asked why she was off duty at a patient home. Awkward. She thought she was spectacular

(aside from long term contact specialties like NICU and if you ever have an ex-NICU PDN patient you may see a NICU nurse or two still heavily involved post discharge. Occasionally (thankfully not that often) interfering with PDN implying only the NICU nurses were worthy to care for the infant)

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