what would you do? (kind-of new job; ipossibly moving)

Nurses General Nursing

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i've been working for my current company PRN (per diem but often full time hours because I took every shift that was up for grabs :p ) for 5 years. 4 months ago I applied for a full time position and got it. Recently my fiance got fed up with the lack of professional opportunity in this area for him and has been applying for jobs in other states.

I was specifically asked in the interview "is there any chance you might be relocating anytime soon?" because the RN i was replacing had just quit due to her partner transferring out of state. At the time of course I said no, we're settled here.

it's just been in the past two weeks that my fiance came up with this idea that he has to move to get ahead in his career. He assumes it will be no problem for me to relocate because "there are hospitals everywhere". but I'm afraid of burning bridges at my current job if he does manage to land a job out of state soon. I've worked for the company for 5 years PRN, but have only been full time staff for 4 months, and I specifically said in the FT interview that I wasn't going anywhere.

Every time my fiance talks about out of state jobs he applied to or opportunities that someone in his professional network told him about, my stress level goes through the roof. Do you have any advice on how to handle this? If he does land an out of state gig, how long do you think I have to stay at my current job in order to leave on a positive note with good references?

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Specializes in ED, Pedi Vasc access, Paramedic serving 6 towns.

This is a tough situation, but does your fiancé have a job currently that he could just stick with for at least a year?

Is he responsive to your concerns, especially if you guys decide to move back YOU may not be able to get a job if you burn bridges.

The biggest question I have for you is have you actually talked to your fiancé about this? I mean you can talk to strangers on the internet all day about it, but we cannot solve your problem, only you and your fiancé can. I would talk to him and possibly compromise stating in a year or two you would be open to moving, but right now you need to stay at your current job, as you will need them fo a reference down the road for any new job you apply too. I hope he is receptive, but he is the one you need to be talking too!

annie

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Agree with previous poster. But I'd also say it's really impossible for anyone to say they're settled in any location for good. Any number of things can come up... sick family member, loss of significant others job, etc. I think you should stick it out there for that golden year but I also think it would be darn petty for your employer to hold it against you for relocating in the near future.

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This is a tough situation, but does your fiancé have a job currently that he could just stick with for at least a year?

Is he responsive to your concerns, especially if you guys decide to move back YOU may not be able to get a job if you burn bridges.

no, he's been unemployed and looking for work since January, hence his frustration. and yeah, I'm also REALLY concerned about "what if it doesn't work out in another state and we have to move back?" because I currently work at the only decent company in our tiny state; most facilities here have been bought by one of two giant corporations and the working conditions suck.

The biggest question I have for you is have you actually talked to your fiancé about this?

yes of course, I've told him all of my concerns and asked if he would be willing to compromise - i.e. take a contract job here for 6 months to a year - which would likely be beneath his skill set, but it would give both of us time to save up money and it would help me to not burn bridges with the only decent SNF company in our state. He said he really wants to have a new start ASAP, and that we could do long-distance for a few months until I'm ready to move. Obviously I don't want to do that, so that's why I wanted to get some insight from other people in nursing re: how long would I have to stay at this job to leave on a good note and/or how to quit without burning bridges if necessary? I'm really hoping he manages to find a job here and then we won't have to worry about it, so I'm trying to gently convince him to at least keep LOOKING in this area.

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Specializes in ED, Pedi Vasc access, Paramedic serving 6 towns.

I would say you would have to stay at least a year to not burn bridges or more. You have to do whatever you need to do, and realize that obviously you may never be employed by them again if you were to return to that state.

Good luck.

Annie

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