Just started med surg, feeling that it's not for me

[katygw]

Im a new grad nurse, landed a job in spring, passed my boards then started on the floor a couple days ago. This may sound like overreacting too soon to some readers but I truly feel in my gut that I just don't belong on a med surg floor. I never enjoyed them in clinicals and so far I just can't see myself on this one or liking it in long term. No sooner had I left the hospital building that I started balling as soon as I got in my car. The first night was so overwhelming already that I felt like crying the entire time. It doesnt help that I went in thinking Ill get to see my nurse's routine first and then kind of go from there...noo..she would be doing other things while I was trying to document assessments I had done on the computer system I had barely ever used...that doesnt help an inexperienced new grad who has never had to organize and prioritize on the real floor. I know all of the professors, etc. say "do a year in med surg first"....well I really dont want to hate my life and be depressed for a year knowing that I really don't want to work on the floor. I hate feeling almost pressured or obligated to work med surg first because "most people do" and that if you don't you're "less of a nurse."

I've had an internship and a preceptorship in the ICU and enjoyed them but ultimately thought it'd be too much for me to grasp right out of school since the patients are so critical. I have loved children my whole life and got to shadow the newborn nursery in my last senior clinical rotation for a day and I LOVED it...I knew I would love working in a nursery and that's where I belonged...but being that all jobs are limited I took the first offer I got on this med surg floor. Ultimately I would love to either be transferred to the nursery or start looking at other hospitals for openings or just another setting altogether if I cant get in the nursery right away. I feel maybe a clinic or outpatient setting could be nice or a same day surgery center (for a while I was interested in the OR). I just dont think I can handle a floor, and I am saying this because God forbid anything ever happen to patients that I was caring for on the floor because I was too busy or stressed trying to handle a million other things...I could never live with myself knowing that. What I liked about the ICU was the close patient interaction since you only have 2 patients. I enjoy talking with the patient or the family...on the floor your lucky if you get 1 minute to talk to anyone, even the nurse I am precepting with said "well it would be nice to shoot the sh** with people but you just can't"...I want somewhere where I can have more time with patients...I guess it was kind of a wake up call since in school we only had one or two pts who we did all the care for (yeah our clinicals were not very realistic or good) and the real world is very different. I guess I just needed to vent and get input from people who know where I am coming from...I love my parents to death but trying to explain it to them just makes it sound like I don't want to work or that I need to give it more time...Ive had doubts through nursing school and they're surfacing yet again...sometimes I regret ever going through all of this...I got great grades in school but it's another story when it comes to using them in the real world. I guess I just feel kind of lost and any input or advice would be appreciated. I'm wondering if I should start looking now for another job. and I mean no offense to med surg nurses in posting this, I give you ALL of the credit in the world for what you do, I just don't think it's my niche.

[nola1202]

I really get frustrated when I see someone treated badly when they are new at any job, no matter what the level of experience. There will always be people who need to impress you with how fast and smart they are...and insensitive.

A co-worker told me her experience with another nurse that made her feel slow,stupid and useless. She cried on the way home and didn't want to come back. I think management knows these nurses but is short staffed, desperate to

get those new people out on the floor, so they just schedule them with anyone who is breathing. Teaching is a specialty, precepting is a privelege. (and yeah I know, I used to precept so many people at one hospital because of the turnover, I would have given anything to not be used as a preceptor. I just faked it, and did my best and usually I'd end up having a really good time.

[Newbie101]

Hi! 9 years later.. LOL did you end up staying? I'm currently in the EXACT same situation as you.

[katygw]

Hello!

WOW! what can happen in 9 years! I only ended up staying at that job for 7 months. I haven’t done med surg since and it was what was best for me. I worked in allergy, dermatology, endoscopy, and currently have been in perioperative nursing for the past 2 years which I love! I feel like I found my niche in nursing for sure. My confidence has grown with experience and time to the point where I decided to go back to graduate school to get my Masters in nurse practitioning! So I’m working in a university hospital‘s surgical center and I’m a part time student at their university. Enjoying it all and wouldn’t change anything.

Are you brand new on your floor? Problems with a preceptor? Just remember: Things will get better-whether they do on that floor or not, they will get better. I know for me personally, it was best for me to go elsewhere. I am the first to admit I can be a better nurse when I can focus...trying to juggle 5 patients, which isn’t even that many by med surg standards, was tough for me. Learning what your strengths, Weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and preferences are all comes with time. I knew the floor was not meant for me and it may or may not be for you..but that is a decision you have to make. I would talk with your manager if you haven’t already! Any other new nurses on the floor you could relate to or confide in may help too. Just know there are other things out there if this doesn’t work out. I’m a firm believer in changing your situation if it doesn’t make you happy. ?

[Newbie101]

I'm so excited that you replied You have no IDEA! I feel like your comment was what I needed and what I was waiting for to make up my mind. So I started January 27. My preceptor was super inpatient with me, bossy, rude...all the words LOL. She threw me out to the wolves literally on my FIRST day because she was “behind” on documentation. She was anxious I guess mentoring me. So at the hospital Floor I work. We have to train up to 9 patients because in case a nurse floats. so last week I had 8 patients, 4 discharges, and 2admissions. It was horrible! And literally she left me alone. I stayed till 9:( 645-9shift. I was dead. Everyday I would come out crying and dreading work. Though I would tell myself and force myself to give another chance that maybe I would like it. But all because I didn't wanna look like a failure. I wanted to do Med surg for my FNP. But no... at my 30day eval I broke down in front of my manager! Mind you it was at the end of a chaotic 14 hour shift. And just flat out told her “this isn't for me” so now I'm switching to something a bit more calm which is Mother Baby. But honestly I was thinking maybe I'm gonna regret this. Maybe I shouldve given it more time. But I didn't wanna go to a job that I busted my *** for 4 years studying to NOT liking it and worried about losing my license because I'm juggling 9patients. Hopefully I did a right decision. I've always loved OB it always in my gut feeling but I chose Med Surg because I wanted a foundation to go back to get my Masters.. hopefully in 9 years Ill love my job and Ill be getting my NP in womens health or something..

[katygw]

I’m sorry to hear your med surg experience wasn’t better. It sounds like you made the right move though! Definitely get some good nursing experience under your belt before you go back to school. Having a foundation of nursing knowledge out in the field and assessment skills will help you in the long run! I’m glad I waited and got experience before I made the grad school decision. Hope the mom and baby unit is going well and best of luck on your journey! Enjoy it!

[ChrisSa]

Hi Katygw,

I'm relatively new too, and have worked on a med-surg floor for about a year and a half now so what you are going through now, I went through very recently. OWN YOUR ORIENTATION. Take it by the balls and learn what you need to learn so that you're as ready as you possibly can be that first day you are on your own. Don't worry about hard feelings. They'll fade fast, especially if you are respectful of everyone around you. Be humble. Know that you don't know anything yet. In a year, you'll amazingly find yourself competent, and even more amazing....you'll be the one precepting the Spring chickens, like I am now. It's just a learning curve, that's all. Challenge yourself, take the year to learn what your strengths/weaknesses are so that when you leave you can launch yourself confidently in whichever direction you choose.