Just a question from a student

maolin · Mar 2, 2006

Was the movie Wit? This movie should be a must see for every nursing student on the planet. Just talked about this on another thread as a matter of fact.

It is totally ok to express your sorrow when a pt dies - it shows your compassion and genuine caring for a patient. Of course, you don't want to upstage the family of the patient and have them end up comforting you - but to share their sadness and tell them how sorry you are is ok.

My first encounter with this situation happened last semester as I took care of a mom whose 24 weeker died in the NICU a day after he was born. I was there when the doctors told her he wasn't going to make it and there the next day when she began to process her son's death. I can't imagine anything sadder than loosing your own baby. I told her as much and sat with her for 2 hours, crying and talking together about her loss.

Out of everything I've learned so far in nursing school, this was the most challenging and scary thing I'd done. But I made it through and more importantly, helped the patient through that first couple of days. I think being able to cry with her helped that process - how would she have felt with a stone faced unfeeling nurse taking care of her in her darkest hour?

Yes, it is ok to cry.

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Mar 2, 2006

Moved to General Nursing Discussion forum.

Blee O'Myacin, BSN, RN · Mar 2, 2006

Well, I try not to cry at work, although that is OK too. We have a small unit, and the other patients are well aware that someone else is dying. So for the sake of the other people that are going through the same experience and are petrified that it is going to be their turn next, I try to keep it together until I am in the car on the way home blasting some very loud, very obnoxious music.

You will also have a team of coworkers who share your experience. You will be able to talk things out with them, cry together, go to the local bar and have a beer before you go home to your "other life".

Its a learning process, one which I am still in the midst of. Good luck to you.

Blee

Edited to mention that we do see many people die as a result of the massive doses of chemotherapy we give as conditioning for transplant. It's horrible, but without that chance, they would have died anyway. It is a decision that the patient and the family make when opting to try a treatment which is out of the ordinary on the chance that it just might work. ((Hugs))

LilRedRN1973 · Mar 3, 2006

See my post in "First Year in Nursing" about both my patients dying on the same shift. I cried and did not have a problem with it. I also went to the memorial service and it was a much needed catharsis. I am glad I shared in the experience with the family and am glad I was able to be there for them while their mother passed away. Some nurses in my unit (ICU) refuse to show any emotion and I just can't do that. It's not me.

Melanie = )

ShayRN · Mar 3, 2006

I have been a nurse for 8 years now. The day I STOP crying when a patient dies is the day I leave the profession.

sharann, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2006

That needs to be required viewing for nursing AND medical students if it is the Wit movie. Yes you can cry, but you won't unless it is appropriate. You need to keep your humanity while not falling apart for the patients sake(and yours)