Just a nervous mom

BKRN · Mar 9, 2006

Hi. I'm not sure if I posted this in the right forum so, please excuse me if I made a mistake.. I'm trying to transition my daughter over to a toddler bed. She is 2 and will be 3 at the end of july. So far it hasn't been working at all. I put her in the toddler bed at her normal bed time and within 5 minutes she is looking for me.. I have tried laying in her room with her until she falls asleep and instead she thinks its time to play.. We still have her crib set up and some nights it gets to the point that I just finally have to lay her down in her crib and she goes to sleep instantly almost as soon as I lay her down.. I've talked to the doctor about it and she said its ok for her to still be in her crib as long as she isn't trying to get out. (which she has not tried yet!) There's no rush to transition her to the toddler bed or anything but, I thought she should be in a toddler bed now since she is 2.. Maybe I could be wrong..Any advise would help.. Thanks

My daughter has been in her toddler bed since she was 2, we have not had any problems. We put a baby gate up in her doorway so that she is not able to leave her room. That has worked well for us. Also maybe you could make a big deal about her "big girl bed". I would'nt worry to much about her still sleeping in her crib. She probably feels comfortable and secure there. I had a good friend who's daughter slept in her crib until she was

3 1/2-I think it is fine as long as it does not pose a safety risk.

Bumashes, MSN, APRN, NP · Mar 9, 2006

Hi,

I have some formal education in this type of situation, so maybe I can help. If you want her to transition, there are two good, but not necessarily easy, ways. The first is easier. If your daughter is a heavy sleeper, then put her to bed in her crib, but once she's asleep move her to the toddler bed. This way, she wakes up in the bed, so she will start to see it as a sleep thing. This can take quite a few times for her to make the connection that the new thing is for sleep and not play.

The other way is frustrating, but it does work if you can stick to it. And I mean stick to it! When it's time for bed, do your usual nightly rituals and place her in the toddler bed. Completely disengage from that moment on. Do not interact with her. When she gets out of bed, just say,"No, it's bedtime," and DO NOT say anything else or do anything with her other than put her back in the bed. You may sit on a chair in the room if you'd like, so you won't be lugging her very far back to bed. Don't look at her while you're sitting there, though, because she can interpret this as you wanting interaction. She needs to relearn that bedtime is bedtime and nothing else. Also, when she gets out of bed and you tell her no, it's bedtime, don't be angry or happy while saying it. Just be monotone. Toddlers will think they are getting somewhere if you respond with any feeling at all. This will most likely cause some very long nights for a while. The effect is not usually instantaneous. So only try this if you're willing to lose some sleep for a while. Also, if you have a spouse or others in the house, tell them the same things. Any interaction, whether positive or negative, will only encourage her to ignore you. I realize that she will cry and scream and rant probably when presented with this. This is where most people cave. They can't stand the sound of their baby in such distress. Don't cave, just say, "No, it's bedtime," no matter how hard she tries to break you. Psychologically, she is not in any real distress while screaming/crying. She just knows that that's how to get to adults. So don't let her control the situation.

I know these sound kind of harsh, but believe me, they are time tested and proven. I learned of these techniques while studying for a degree in elementary education. Try them out. If they're not for you, then find something else. These are just what child psychologists say to do.

allnurses Guide · Mar 9, 2006

I'm not clear on why a 2 year old has to transition to a toddler bed at 2?

If she falls asleep in the crib and doesn't try to get out, what is the problem?

I have 4 kids - I'm no expert - but this seems like making trouble when you don't need to.

Believe me, sooner or later your child will sleep in a regular bed. You don't see many teenagers in a crib.

I'd suggest just relaxing and letting her stay in the crib for now.

I think the same advice is for potty training - if the child isn't interested right now - don't make a big deal, a big fight out of it. Just put the potty chair away and try again later.

steph

*CJA* · Mar 10, 2006

I totally agree that a 2-year-old who's not climbing out should stay in the crib. Here's one reason why:

When my daughter was 2+, and still sleeping in a crib, I was in the bathroom drying my hair one morning, trying to be done and dressed before she got up. Our bathroom door (in an old house) did not shut all the way, and in order to keep her out of it when she was toddling, we put a hook-type lock on the outside of it. Well, when I was drying my hair, my husband came in to kiss me good-bye, then left for work. Because of the hair-dryer, I did not hear him reflexively lock the bathroom door before he left. So I was locked IN!!! I spend a 1/2 hour or so trying to break the door, to no avail. Then, finally I climbed up and out of the tiniest window you can imagine, and dropped 1 1/2 stories outside. (This was all done in mother-panic-mode.) Well then, I was locked out of the house! So I went to a neighbor, called my husband and finally about another hour later, got back in the house.

During all that I was worried sick about my baby, but guess what? She was just sitting talking to herself, safe in her crib.

I did not move her out of the crib till she was ready for a normal-sized bed about a year later. Then I did it the way the above poster mentioned, giving her zero attention for getting out of bed. It only took 2 nights.

new_mom26 · Mar 10, 2006

Thank you for the advice.. I totally agree since she isn't climbing out of the crib then I really think she is ok.. I guess I just got nervous b/c my mom was like "why isn't she in a toddler bed" and I guess I have to remember that I am the parent and I know what is best for her.. I don't want to push her or anything and she will let me know when she doesn't want to sleep there any more..

smk1, LPN · Mar 10, 2006

I don't think the crib thing is a big problem unless she is crawling out or jumping up and down in it (or finding some other way that i haven't thought of for making it unsafe). However if you want the crib out of there and want her in the toddler bed, then some of the above suggestions will definitely work. I put my tot in a "big girl" bed at about 20 months because she was like a monkey and took one to many spills out of the crib for my peace of mind. a baby gate and firm bed time routine worked just fine.

L&D · Mar 23, 2006

I'm not clear on why a 2 year old has to transition to a toddler bed at 2?
If she falls asleep in the crib and doesn't try to get out, what is the problem?
I have 4 kids - I'm no expert - but this seems like making trouble when you don't need to.
Believe me, sooner or later your child will sleep in a regular bed. You don't see many teenagers in a crib.
I'd suggest just relaxing and letting her stay in the crib for now.
I think the same advice is for potty training - if the child isn't interested right now - don't make a big deal, a big fight out of it. Just put the potty chair away and try again later.
steph

oh i love this quote it mad me laugh

my oldest wasnt a problem moving into her big girl bed. which was good cause i needed her crib for baby sis. but baby sis still sleeps in her crib when shes is not sleeping with big sis.my husband and i lol all the time.