Judge my Letter to Dept of Public Health

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So I have a few things on my record ranging from dis orderly conduct to the worst being under the influence of a controlled substance. Here is the letter I am about to mail tomorrow to the CA Dept of Public Health and hopefully it will be enough to get me my CNA license. Please read and tell me what you think... Thanks!!

I've always been able to excel in English; reading, writing and composition has always come easy to me. However, when I learned that I needed to write and explain how my life and the person I am today differs from that of the past, I was stumped. I think this has been one of the most challenging things I've had to write, and the reason is because of how important this is to me. To some a CNA certification is a minor stepping stone or small achievement, to me it is the key to the doorway of a promising and fulfilling career and life. I know now that this is why this letter is of such importance to me, and hope that by the time your done reading I will have been able to paint a picture of who I am today.

I spent my pre-teen years in San Jose CA, my family attended an apostolic church that was very strict in its beliefs and practices. The church I attended did not let women wear make-up and required them to dress in below the knee skirts and long sleeve tops. We could not celebrate holidays or interact with anyone outside of our religion, and attended services 5 days a week. When my mother learned that the pastor of the church had been molesting children including a member of our family, she made the decision to leave the church, which resulted in her and my fathers divorce. I moved with my mother to Fremont Ca. and began a whole new life. I being only 16 years old had plenty of change and growth to face and being sheltered for the beginning half of my life made these challenges even greater. I tried real hard to fit into the crowd I always thought was so appealing, the troublesome crowd, the rebels who seemed to not care about anything and feared no one. I surrounded myself with these types of people not realizing that these were the exact opposites of the person I was inside, the man I am today. This careless way of life consumed every action and decision I made for a number of years in my life. I took nothing serious, planned nothing and did nothing but things that served short-term means of satisfaction. When I finally realized that this indeed was not the life I wanted or the people I needed around me, I had dug myself into a complicated rut of disruption and needed to find a way out.

In 2006 began my reformation, I suffered a great family loss a change that shook everything in my life that I thought was solid and right. I did not take this well at all, instead of being an adult and handling my emotions and the new problems facing me, I turned to alcohol and reckless behavior. This behavior led to charges on my record that I will now never escape and must always explain it also forced me to realize one important fact, I was unhappy with whom I was trying to be. I began cutting out the things in my life that I felt were negative impacts, the elements of my life that were not going to enhance, were completely cut off. I stopped associating myself with those who lived life in a lawless manner and those who had no focus, drive, ambition or goals in life. I wanted to be able to stand before my family, most of all my daughter and present an upstanding member of community; I wanted my daughter to look at me with pride and changes needed to be made. I started my path with surrounding my self with family and a few new friends whose focus was on education and the importance that it holds in once life. Involving myself with this crowd allowed me to embrace and be proud of the natural traits I've always had inside myself. Loving, caring, compassionate traits; someone who gets joy in giving no matter if its giving food, clothing or a 1 or 2 to those in need, or simply giving a joke to make someone laugh or smile when their sad. I found out that I wanted to help people, some way or another.

I started first by completing my high school diploma, and achieved the satisfaction of completing my diploma with A's and B's in September of 2010. I attended Drug diversion classes and over 25 separate counseling sessions from 2007 until 2009, and although they were court ordered and I did not take them serious in the beginning. Eventually they grew on me and I began to see the value of a clean and sober life, with a clean and sober environment. I learned that I didn't need to be tough to get respect; instead all I needed to do was give respect and consideration to have the same returned. I live my life now planning and constantly steering myself into a path of higher education and personal growth. I can stand proudly in front of my family and daughter and tell them my achievements, my goals and a clear plan to how I will achieve them. I can actually sit now and be happy about myself, and who I've become. When before I used to act as though everything was okay, while inside I felt unaccomplished. I'm surrounded now by my family, nieces, nephews brothers and sisters and of course my daughter who loves to see me come home in my scrubs, and begs to borrow my medical equipment. I find myself giving those younger then me advice on how to avoid wasting away valuable time on trivial matters with no value to them.

I really discovered who I truly was just recently, during my CNA clinicals at a nursing home. I was so nervous before starting; I thought I was going to fail, or that I simply wouldn't have the stomach to perform some of the "less glorious" tasks. However, by day two of clinicals I was looking forward to seeing my resident, I was looking forward to being able to wake up and know that for 8 hours of the day, I would truly be making a difference in someone's life. I love the fact of knowing that with this certificate I can make a living helping those in need, giving care to those who can no longer give care for themselves. It brings joy to me just writing about it now, which is why I ask of you to not overlook the mistakes I've made in the past, but rather to see them and then see who I am now. I believe in doing that you will truly see the night and day difference in the boy from 2006 to the active, contributing community member of 2011 and beyond. I am truly a new person, those around me see it everyday, and those I come in contact with learn it through my interactions with them. This is the profession for me, this is who I am, caring, giving, compassionate and understanding. The traits I've always possessed inside but just needed to embrace, the traits of a nurse.

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