Okay - so here is the deal. My friend and I graduated from nursing school together. She convinced me to work with her in a small hospital, even though I wanted to work at a trauma center. We have been there for almost one year and we are both unhappy and currently looking for other positions. I am not a jealous person by nature, so I don't know if what I am experiencing is jealousy or is it favoritism - I am relying on other nurses to tell me. I don't know if it is important or not to mention but I am latin and my friend is black american. Most of the nurses on the floor are black including the NM and ANM, I am only one of the 2 or 3 latin nurses on the floor. Having said that, here's the problem.
On our floor we get written up for incidental overtime. I have been written up three times. My friend leaves at the same time as me (most days) and has only been written up once. I have gone to my ANM and asked what I could do about this - I was told to figure it out and work on my time management skills. My friend did the same and was told that she should call the ANM, explain the situation so she could get approved for the incidental overtime.
My friend, I'll call her Stacey, recieved employee of the month award. She was nominated by other nurses. I was approached to nominate her and was told (by the other nurses) she really deserves it and besides you have already been employee of the month. When they realized that I have never been employee of the month, they were embaressed and just walked away. I pick up extra shifts, I work night shifts (when needed), she doesn't, my documentation is almost perfect, almost, yet management has never acknowledged my positive contributions, they only pick up on what I have not done. I am on several committees, attend the meetings - my friend is not.
Don't misunderstand - I am not looking for a pat on the back - I would just like some kind of acknowledgement for my contributions, instead of management always focusing on the negatives. I am always on time, I never call out (she has). I don't believe in bringing my personal problems to the work place. My friend has shared her personal problems with the ANM and has recieved nothing but sympathy. When I was in the hospital (the only time I called out) there was a total lack of concern for my situation.
The CNAs and nurses all want to work with her. I have asked her what she does and have gone through what I do. We both do the same things. I feel as if I am working in her shadow and want to break away. Please let me know..am I being silly?
If I were you I would check into discrimination. It does not sound like jealousy to me. I do not care what the others are saying. Move on, or your friend has a better personality. Honey I too have been down your road. I have put in the overtime, worked any shift they want. Time and time again the nurses around me get pay raises or promoted while I keep plugging along. Tell your ANM and NM you want to file discrimination charges and I bet they change their tune. You hang in there if you like that job. If that girl is a friend she should back you up no matter what. I hate to be negative but by golly, we deserve the same as other nurses. It worked for me. Best of luck in what ever decision you make.
Specializes in Peds Urology,primary care, hem/onc.
I also think it is time for you to move on. At my old job... I routinely got "you are one of the best nurses we have here...but....". The enviroment there was those that "did" did a lot, and were expected to. Those that did "nothing" , continued to do nothing and where not held accountable. I was always fussed at that there was something wrong with my personality, that I was not smiling enough etc. Now, the job I work at now? My personality fits perfectly. I am acknowledged routinely for how hard I work. I remember warning my supervisor about how I have been told I can get when I get stressed out. She told me the other day, you know... you have been here for 3 years and I don't know what you are talking about. I have not seen that in you yet! Sometimes, it does not matter the kind of job you do, just if your personality meshes with the group or not. Chances are, they expect you to bust your butt for them. Period. no questions asked. I am a pretty direct, straight forward person. I do not mesh well at all with passive/agressive personalities. People who are like that have a tendency to be very intimidated and cannot handle someone being straight forward. Maybe that is what is going on on your floor. also, don't expect your husband to truly understand. Men just don't function like that. They have a problem with someone, it is addressed (a lot of the time anyway). They also tend to not care emotionally about their jobs and there feelings are not hurt as easily as ours are. He should support you, he just may need really get how you feel. Good Luck!
BearyPrivate
94 Posts
If I were you I would check into discrimination. It does not sound like jealousy to me. I do not care what the others are saying. Move on, or your friend has a better personality. Honey I too have been down your road. I have put in the overtime, worked any shift they want. Time and time again the nurses around me get pay raises or promoted while I keep plugging along. Tell your ANM and NM you want to file discrimination charges and I bet they change their tune. You hang in there if you like that job. If that girl is a friend she should back you up no matter what. I hate to be negative but by golly, we deserve the same as other nurses. It worked for me. Best of luck in what ever decision you make.
