Is it time to finally do this...

Good Afternoon Everyone,

I'm currently a 31 year old male, and have been following AN for a few years now and have finally decided to write in. I'm writing this post as I have struggled a LOT with deciding if I want to go into nursing and thought that it's time to get some feedback from those with more experience. Disclaimer: I know no one can make this decision for me.

I graduated from college in 2013. Worked corporate jobs- HATED sitting at a desk, doing meaningless "irrelevant" work. I've also worked in the restaurant industry bartending in some very busy places, so I know what it's like to hustle and have a running list of 30 things to do at all times and constantly having to prioritize all the while solving everyone's problems. I do like the energy, but sometimes it's just exhausting.

4 years ago I thought to myself- Well how about nursing? It seemed to fit a lot of things that I wanted out of a career. Decent pay, flexible schedule, flexible time to enjoy other interests, ability to travel, rarely boring, meaningful/interesting work, not sitting in a chair for extended periods of time, and lots of options.

I've shadowed in ERs, Cath labs, Oncology, and PACU. ER was kind of cool- I shadowed an AWESOME nurse, and I liked the interviewing and problem solving aspect of it, BUT it's also very stressful and I saw some things where I thought to myself, I truly don't think I could do some of this (maybe it just requires being desensitized, IDK). Lets be real, some of it is just gross. I really actually kind of liked the Cath lab- from this experience I realized I like the more procedural side of things. I wish I had the opportunity to shadow in the OR, but where I stand, that is the unit I would be most interested in working in if I pursue this.

In my current bartending job, I will go out of my way to help people who are nice and I have no problem doing it. I have gotten along well with most people in every job I've had, and been described as a people-person. I know I'm a caring person, but I have my limits, and I am not a "martyr type". I'm compassionate, but also have a bit more of a tough love approach. I'm not cold, but I'm not super warm and fuzzy and some times I have a hard time feeling bad for people who don't do anything to help themselves regarding their health. Having said all of this, sometimes I think of myself in the future as a nurse and feel a sense of identity with that- it's kind of hard to explain.

I've taken all the prerequisites, was accepted into an accelerated ADN program last January and withdrew in the last minute. I couldn't get myself to sign up for 40K in student loan debt, not be able to work for a year, and only have an associates to work with. I also had personal debt that made the choice difficult to commit to at the time. At that point, I gave up the idea of nursing. Months later, revisited the idea and I can't seem to shake it, but I also can't seem to commit to it. I'm thinking of applying to another program that would give me a BSN in two years and allows me to work through it so as to minimize overall debt. (Sidebar- I just got myself out of personal debt, and it's an awful place to be. I REALLY don't ever want to have to go back into debt unless absolutely necessary. So I'm also looking at this from an investment standpoint as well.) I have looked and continue to look into MANY career options and I KNOW there are EASIER ways to make money, but I don't find sitting at a desk doing soul-less work to be EASY at all.

So having said all of that I hope I've been able to give an accurate and honest portrayal of my dilemma. I appreciate you taking the time to read all of this and if you chose to, input your thoughts. I expect positive and probably negative responses, I just request that any feedback be constructive. Thank you so much!

-Ahhh! LOL