Jump to content

Is there such thing as switching jobs and relocating too early?

HollpRN HollpRN (New) New Nurse

HollpRN has 1 years experience.

Hi everyone, new nurse here. I moved from NYC to upstate New York to be with my boyfriend before nursing school, I also just loved the area and didn’t want to live in NYC anymore. Fast forward two years, I’m a new RN as of June at the hospital where I got CNA experience and my boyfriend is (newly) in the AirForce just went from basic training in Texas to Washington state where he’ll be for sometime, longer than a year. Long distance isn’t new to us as it was only a couple hour drive to visit but we miss being together and being in our late 20’s are hoping to get married in the next year or two. Obviously with the whole pandemic going on it makes traveling a little more complicated. 

Long story short I also recently moved to be closer to work cause he left but he wants me to move to Spokane, Washington, and I want to move too —eventually when I feel ready, but being a such a brand spankin new nurse and thinking about moving to a different state where I’m trying to become more proficient in nursing skills terrifies me. I tell him my fears and he’s all “there’s plenty of job opportunity here I’m sure you will be okay, we’ll save money, and be able to get married sooner.” Cool, all things I want- but I don’t feel confident moving where I just started my career, still feeling like I don’t know how to do anything. Aside from the fact that NY isn’t a compact licensing state so it may be a pain in the ***. I’m just wondering if I should continue to try to get basic bedside nursing skills down and then move or does it not even matter? I like where I work partly because I’m familiar with the area and hospital having done clinical and being a CNA there. I think I might just be too scared, help!

Jedrnurse specializes in school nurse.

I wouldn't use your boyfriend's advice about the nursing job market - he has an obvious bias.

How long have you actually been at your nursing job?

Yes, leaving it early can impact your chances of getting a subsequent job. It doesn't kill any chance, but it can make you less competitive against other candidates.

dracarys bsn specializes in L&D, Epic IT.

New nurse or not, I wouldn't be following anyone across the country unless there was a ring on my finger. It's one thing to be a military spouse and have to up and leave; it's a whole other thing entirely to voluntarily leave to follow someone you may or may not end up with. I say that as a military spouse. 

Aside from that, what's the plan if you don't get hired right away? Will he be able to support you both?

HollpRN has 1 years experience.

1 hour ago, Jedrnurse said:

I wouldn't use your boyfriend's advice about the nursing job market - he has an obvious bias.

How long have you actually been at your nursing job?

Yes, leaving it early can impact your chances of getting a subsequent job. It doesn't kill any chance, but it can make you less competitive against other candidates.

I agree about him having a bias, I do tell him that as well. I think he’s just trying to be supportive but really he has little insight about what this job is like. I’ve only been working as a nurse for a little over a month I don’t plan on up and leaving any time soon- I want to give it at least 6 months but I originally wanted to wait about a year. Thanks for your input!

HollpRN has 1 years experience.

40 minutes ago, dracarys BSN said:

New nurse or not, I wouldn't be following anyone across the country unless there was a ring on my finger. It's one thing to be a military spouse and have to up and leave; it's a whole other thing entirely to voluntarily leave to follow someone you may or may not end up with. I say that as a military spouse. 

Aside from that, what's the plan if you don't get hired right away? Will he be able to support you both?

I totally agree about not moving without a ring on my finger, trust me it’s in been verbalized (even his mother told him not to expect for me to go anywhere without a ring). We’ve discussed getting married legally and waiting for the whole wedding but part of me doesn’t really want that. As far as getting hired would go, I don’t think I would plan on really going forward with moving until I have applied to places and have at least an interview in place, whether that be virtual, telephone or whatever. He also told me that when we get married I’d have some sort of privilege with jobs? Not sure how true that is.  Ideally, not sure if he’d be able to support us both especially without having the extra compensation from being married if I don’t get a job right away. Not gonna lie I do put some pressure on him about getting engaged sooner rather than later so at least I have some peace of mind about moving across the country. A lot of it is financial about purchasing the hardware, no matter how hard I implement the fact that it is HIGHLY unnecessary. I realize this may all sound super naive LOL 

TriciaJ specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

1.  Start looking into the hospitals in the Spokane area.  No rush.  Just start scoping things out.  If your boyfriend presses, tell him you're working on it.  Also check out the housing market.

2.  If he is in the military, how long can he expect to stay in his current location?  Does he have any assurance of a minimal duration?

3.  I would not put a lot of stock in a ring.  It's just a piece of jewelry.  You could have a ring on your finger, disrupt your career by moving and then have things fall apart.

4.  As hard as it is to be apart, a solid relationship can ride out temporary hardships.  Can he not give you six months to get some (barely) solid experience before pressuring you to move across the country?  Just how good is he at deferring his gratification for the bigger picture?

5.  Work with him on getting yourself to Spokane as soon as it's practical to do so, based on your research.  But while you're doing it, watch his behaviour.  Is he mostly patient and supportive, or is he having little meltdowns because you're not jumping when he snaps his fingers?  Not only are you getting some footing in your career, you have a great opportunity to see if your relationship is really worth moving for.

Good luck.

JBMmom specializes in Long term care; med-surg; critical care.

A month is definitely a bit too soon to count as experience for finding a new job. We all know that the first job is the hardest to get and you'd basically be starting over again. Your plan to wait at least six months (or ideally a year), sounds like a very good career decision. I'm sure the distance will be challenging for your relationship, but you have a lot of future plans to consider and balance. Good luck!

HollpRN has 1 years experience.

27 minutes ago, JBMmom said:

A month is definitely a bit too soon to count as experience for finding a new job. We all know that the first job is the hardest to get and you'd basically be starting over again. Your plan to wait at least six months (or ideally a year), sounds like a very good career decision. I'm sure the distance will be challenging for your relationship, but you have a lot of future plans to consider and balance. Good luck!

I agree, I 100% don’t plan on moving before the 6 month mark. Thanks!

HollpRN has 1 years experience.

1 hour ago, TriciaJ said:

1.  Start looking into the hospitals in the Spokane area.  No rush.  Just start scoping things out.  If your boyfriend presses, tell him you're working on it.  Also check out the housing market.

2.  If he is in the military, how long can he expect to stay in his current location?  Does he have any assurance of a minimal duration?

3.  I would not put a lot of stock in a ring.  It's just a piece of jewelry.  You could have a ring on your finger, disrupt your career by moving and then have things fall apart.

4.  As hard as it is to be apart, a solid relationship can ride out temporary hardships.  Can he not give you six months to get some (barely) solid experience before pressuring you to move across the country?  Just how good is he at deferring his gratification for the bigger picture?

5.  Work with him on getting yourself to Spokane as soon as it's practical to do so, based on your research.  But while you're doing it, watch his behaviour.  Is he mostly patient and supportive, or is he having little meltdowns because you're not jumping when he snaps his fingers?  Not only are you getting some footing in your career, you have a great opportunity to see if your relationship is really worth moving for.

Good luck.

1. We discussed this just yesterday and I asked for him to ask his peers for reputable hospitals in the area- he said he’d do his homework so that’s a step.

2. Minimum 3 years I believe, max is 5 so it would just make more sense for me to move there at some point. 

3. Trust me- I know. I have already tried to drill this into him, I even offered to help and have linked him to perfectly fine engagement rings that are just a couple hundred and suggested making a bigger purchase some years down the line-it’s not me who’s asking for a lot!

4&5. I’m right there with you and I tell him this is only temporary. He is supportive for sure, no melt downs, nothing like “move here now or it’s over”. He verbalizes understanding but it’s easy for someone not in the nursing field to say they get it when we all know no one else does. I mean I barely feel like I know anything and I’m off orientation in 2 weeks!! He left in Jan, was supposed to see him in March but covid hit and put a whole damper on traveling so this has been the longest stretch in almost 4 years of being together. I did just tell him yesterday that he’s putting a lot of pressure on me and he apologized, said that my reasons for not wanting to move right away are valid.

thanks for all your input it’s greatly appreciated!!

Edited by HollpRN

HollpRN has 1 years experience.

Thanks to any and everyone who's read this and has given their input and advice, I really appreciate all of it.

×

This site uses cookies. By using this site, you consent to the placement of these cookies. Read our Privacy, Cookies, and Terms of Service Policies to learn more.