Is it bullying or am I too sensitive???

[Pumiky]

I'm a new grad, started working on an oncology/haematology/acute medicine floor about a month and a half ago. I find to work stress levels extremely high, but challenging at the same time...In other words it's not the work that's going to make me quit, it's the people around me. I've had several incidents with some of the other nurses that make me question my future on the floor. They are all very stupid things but it's the little things that bother me. A few weeks ago the nurse that goes around and do the bloods said she's going to do the CBGM for everybody (to help out). She has the habit of yelling out the results down the hall to the nurses responsible for that pt. She did the same to me but being as busy as I was I had other things on my mind and didn't listen, when later on I asked her for the results she lashed at me saying I didn't pay attention when she told me the results and now it's my problem and that if I want to check the results I should go to the room and check for myself. I was shocked by her reaction....a few days later the charge nurse for the afternoon saw me walking into the nursing station and started yelling at me for not filling the afternoon report. Needless to say there were other people around. Later on that day I approached her privately and told her that I know I make mistakes but next time if she wants to criticize me I would appreciate her doing so in private and not in the middle of the nursing station. She then told me that she wasn't speaking to me she was talking to everybody and the only reason she said what she said in English was b/c I don't speak French...(I guess I was thrown off by the fact she was looking at me the whole time she was speaking) later on that day, the same charge nurse took each and every new nurse aside to explain to them the importance of writing in the report, she then turned to me again (in the middle of the nursing station) telling me "you see, I told each and every nurse in private about how important it is to write in the report, I have my reasons for asking you to write in the report" I never doubted the importance of the report, I just didn't like her method of criticizing me in front of everybody. The highlight of my experience on that floor was when I was told by another nurse that I'm sitting in her sit and was expected to get up. At the time I thought she was actually sitting there and I took her place but she just basically told me to get up and didn't even sit there!!!!! Just put her stuff and walked away!!!!

Am I being too sensitive??? I come home crying, the only good time I have there is when I'm with my pt. and yesterday the charge nurse told me that they think I have an attitude problem but what can I do??? With that type of behaviour all I want to do is be left alone do my thing and minimize my interaction with the other nurses. I realize it's not going to make my life any easier but that way at least I won't get burned....I tried to explain that to the charge nurse, told her everything, but I don't think she understands me. Any advice? Did any of you experience something like this before

[AprilRNhere]

I don't have any advice for you since I haven't started working yet, but ((hugs) I hope this passes quickly for you.

[Beary-nice]

I am sorry that you are having such a tough time. In my opinion, I don't think anyone needs to be yelling a patient's lab values including blood glucose down any hallway. I think maybe you did feel specifically criticized about the report thing. I would have had mixed signals too. If someone is looking at me directly when they are speaking, I would assume they mean it for me too, or perhaps not, perhaps it is just them.

I think it is hard to be the new kid on the block. I think you did right by confronting your charge and telling her how you felt. I wouldn't recommend crawling in your own shell and retreating from everyone. I think that would just give them the satisfaction.

I had a rough time starting out as a new LPN. I was expected to be in charge of several residents in a long term care facility and assign cares to aides who I had worked with side by side as an aide myself. It was very hard. I would come home in tears almost every nite. I would talk to my manager and I felt like she didn't understand or she would give me a line like "just do the best you can."

It took one nurse I could confide in. She understood what I was talking about. If it is possible for you to find a mentor, I would encourage it. If after time there is no improvement, don't make yourself crazy. I would consider looking elsewhere bearing in mind however, elsewhere may come with its own quirks too.

Good luck and take care.

[caliotter3]

From the perspective of your post, it is obvious to me that you are not a popular person there. The situation with the yelling at the nurses station in English to you and then the "CYA" separate warnings to everyone else: how hostile!!! You were right when you complained that you don't like being yelled at in front of others. Good for you. Continue to stick up for yourself, otherwise you will be browbeaten into leaving.

The other person was hostile and not helpful also. It is inappropriate for her to be yelling lab values or anything else about patients down the hallway. The only yelling down the hallway that should be done is when one is yelling "Fire" or yelling to obtain help for themselves or a patient. Very unprofessional.

If I were you I would decide upon a length of time that you will tolerate this employment, then start seeking employment elsewhere. If there is the possibility of transferring to another unit where you are at, you should try that. Unless things change drastically, or you develop the ability to cope with this, you will end up very, very unhappy or even sick. So it is best to plan alternatives now. Good luck to you.

[llg, PhD, RN]

To me, it sounds as if you are working with some unpleasant people -- but that it isn't just aimed at you specifically. I wouldn't take it too personally. If you can tough it out for a while, it will probably improve as you settle in and become a full member of the team.

However ... that doesn't mean I think it was appropriate and OK. It isn't OK and it doesn't sound like a very nice place to work. You might want to reconsider your choice to work there. Is there someone on your unit that you have made friends with? ... someone who knows the people involved who can help you interpret the situation better and give you some advice on how to handle it? This is the sort of thing for which a mentor can come in handy.

[edisonnurse]

I don't have any expert advice, I just had my first day today, but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that you are being treated that way. You graduate, you are excited to start a new career, then BAM, you are hit with that!!! Nasty, Nasty women!!!No person deserves to be treated that way....Keep your head up. Do your job to the best of your ability so that when you go home each day you can be proud of the nurse you are. Use their ugliness to remind yourself that no matter how long you are a nurse, you will never treat the new grads in that way....OH and remember Karma is a *itch. Boy are they gonna hate it when you surpass them professionally!!!!